Dear Diary

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

little conversation with your diary.

Submitted: September 28, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: September 28, 2017



Dear Diary,

Most of the days of my life I don’t know why am I alive! That there is no reason why I am breathing in oxygen and letting out carbon dioxide. Sure, the plants need it but it’s not necessary that mine would be better than others. so why? I might be taking in the part of oxygen somebody else really needs. But for what is worth I had an urge to find out why every night I fall asleep and then wake up repeatedly every next day. Almost 7.5 billion people in the world, my presence matters like the presence of an ant matters near a drop of water. Irrelevant in short. At the rate of illiteracy and food supply etcetera around the world I MUST be consuming more than just one person, by all the intelligence blessed to me by GOD! I am a hundred and one percent sure I am a burden on this poor planet.

Existence what does it really mean. By the definition on google it is “the fact or state of living or having objective reality” or “continued survival”. Surely having a “continued survival” which I clearly can’t judge why but It is compulsory now to break down this poor little definition for my existence sake. So, the state of living part we all get “or having OBJECTIVE REALITY”. Objective reality is things to be true whether I believe in it or not, and believe it or not I certainly like the later one. I have been through such phases of life today that I don’t feel 19 at all. Either I am a 7th grader again or just an old soul. This states that my opinion matters. But in front of whom, my family? My friends? For definite Not my teachers! Then who is the lucky one

Sorry for being a pain in the ass nonetheless my simple childish questions may make my or somebody else’s life better. I’ve been lucky with the quantity of friends, on the other hand quality is still lacking. Only one friend’s opinion mattered to me but he apparently shut me down for being aimless and having a pointless life. Those words pinched me to the point where a person gets numb. Suddenly every single thing was baseless. I was brought up believing that life has more turns then you really think and on those turns your friends hold your hand no matter what! Well my experiences say that friends are there until it pleases them to be, the day they’ll find you useless surely, they will push you away blaming it all on you.

Once a shaky ground always a shaky ground. Looking forward doesn’t exist in my dictionary. I know I have so many years still to live but if not all then at least one experience does make a mark on you that you stand on a deserted island thinking through why were you even born. Yes, of course the last thought is to worship GOD, but I am sure there could’ve been better worshipers than me. All I have heard since my EXISTENSE is that life is a race, keep on running to make a name of yourself.

So, my enlightenment towards mentioned above thought is that what if we are running in the race and in the way, we get struck by a beautiful sunset, some rainbow or maybe some gorgeous piece of lighting shouldn’t we be allowed to stop and mesmerize it. And because I am a part of this world and can make a difference seemingly, then I may announce that if one day you get tired of running just stop for at least a moment catch your breath and remember nobody can replace you even if you are failing or even if you don’t have anyone waiting for you at the finish line, Stop and smile because you have so much to smile about.

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