Alone

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic


Robin is a girl wishing she can be accepted. But the past plays a part for her acceptance from others. This is me, I am her. I need a release and here I bare myself to readers of my fears. Everyone
has a fear and mine is trap alone in me.

Submitted: September 30, 2017

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Submitted: September 30, 2017

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When Robin was young, people notice her, not for her looks or kindness but for her oddness. It never bothers her as she is naive to the world and she has friends who she can count on.

A few years later, she and her friends separated and got to meet new ones. Ones that break her naive thinking, ones who show her she is different and people looking at her kill some of her own self-esteem. She got it back but with a price, she hides her own oddness and tries to blend in. But blending in is hard. No one pays much attention to her unless she is with those friends. Her friends are nice but the people who they friend with are all about looks. Maybe it's just the way it is, with all of them and herself being 14 to 16 years old.

She wants help from her old friends but they have their own problems and new friends to handle, so in the end, she keeps her problems to herself. But that is a big mistake she made that will affect her own future.

Another few years down, she accidentally cut ties from her old friends except one after getting to a new school. One that she's alone and found another batch of friends. She was happy with them when she was comfortable with them, she shows them a bit of her oddness. They accepted it. But then why does she felt loneliness in her heart? She tries to ignore it and went on her own merrily way. It works.

Then came the separation a few years later, entering to another new school, surprisingly she still keeps in contact with that batch of friends but her friendship with her only old friend is fading fast. She tries to think nothing wrong and act normal but in her heart she knew, it will not last too long.

Robin thinks that being in a new school and her previous school friends accepted her oddness, maybe it's time to let it out and show to the world. So she did. It was hard, some people find her annoying, but majority likes her. She's nice, she's friendly, she's likable. So why is she still being outcast?

Why does this hurt? Why when there is a gathering from the people that like her didn't invite her? Is she a charity case? Are people around her being fake to her?

She has given out her love and trust by why is it not really accepted? She just wants to be accepted but she is not. It hurts real bad.

She closes her eyes and digs deep to her heart, she found out why it hurts. A thick wall has barricade around it. She let herself give to others but others can't get to her because of that wall. She tries breaking it, but nothing works.

She has given up, waiting for that special friend to break it so she can start letting people in. But when will that friend come? A few weeks? Months? Years? Or probably never?

We will never know. Her flame of being accepted is gone and she just a lonely person inside the thick walls. Only time will tell, maybe one day it will happen but we may never know.


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