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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

A girl with a troubled life, experiences loss and the question is will she open up?

Submitted: October 06, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: October 06, 2017



All I could think as he hit me, and even once I heard the beer bottle shatter, was; “Should I run? Why did I argue? Where would I go? It’s all my fault”


 I wish I could say this was the first time or the last, but that would be lying and this is about the truth.


My life had always been this way. I never knew how not to annoy my dad. Mom was better at it, always said she just had more practice. She’d taught me it was easier to run from him than confront him; in a sense. But I had trouble with that. I was so excited about going to sleep over at CeCe’s house.


I knew better.


“Fate, why did you make him mad, you knew he would hit you.”, my mom said as she bandaged my arm up for me where the bottle had cut me. There was concealer covering up the black eye, but sadly the rest of my bruises would have to be covered with my clothes.


“ Mom, it’s too hot for a long sleeve.”, I complained as she placed my arm in the left sleeve.


“ Well, I don't have enough concealer to use on your arm, and you want to go to your friend’s house don’t you”, she replied sounding agitated.


Dad was sleeping in his chair when we slipped out into the night and she drove me to my friends house. Telling Cecilia’s mom that she was sorry for our lateness. Me and CeCe were getting ready to watch a movie when her mom walked in and said to me, “ Hey, can we talk?”


Following her into the hall I asked, “ What did you want Mrs. Wilon?”


“ Where are all the bruises?”, She replied calmly,I stared openmouthed back at her.

"Now.", She said as I stared silently on.

Slowly I lifted up my shirt and showed her the ones on my arms. Next I pointed at the ones where they would be on my legs and said there may be a few on my back I wasn’t sure.


She shook her head and said, “ Your mother used to come here covered in bruises crying...before you were born. I thought he’d quit. I never thought he would hit you too, what did you do to make him so mad?”


"It doesn't matter it was my fault.", I replied honestly.

“ Is that what you think? Look I don’t want to upset you, but if it was your fault then the fists that hit you and caused that glass or whatever it was that cut you would have to have been your own. Do you want me to call the police…. Turn your dad in?”,  She said this all as if she had been through this before, and knew the answer.


“ NO!”, and then realizing I’d shouted, “I mean he isn’t really doing anything wrong he doesn’t mean to hurt me, he just can’t control his temper sometimes, and I’m always doing things that make him mad.”


“ Calm down, I won’t turn him in if you don’t want me too, but you know one of these days he may hurt you very badly, or even kill you Fate.”


She never warned that he might do such things to my mom...If she had I may have said yes, maybe not though.


8 Years Later


“ Hey CeCe what are you doing in here, it’s not raining anymore?”, I asked smiling at my best friend in the whole world.


“ I’m just thinking, our last year of college."  


I’m one year and three months older than CeCe she came to college to become a hairdresser or something along those lines which takes considerably less time than my teaching degree.


“ No I said I was going to go to college to get away, run as far as possible from that town then you said you’d follow so you could be sure and know you were getting the right answers on your homework.”, I replied smiling, my smile disappeared just as quickly as it came, as I remembered the day after that.


 I of course I did remember that next day, I’d been sent to the hospital for over a week even after I myself was released so I could be with my mom and had finally decided I had to go to school sooner or later and face the facts.


 It seemed CeCe was thinking about it too, “ That year was one of the scariest times of my life. I said I was going because I didn’t ever want to wonder if you were still breathing or not again...and also the homework thing”


“ It was hard for me too, except lucky for you it was my mom who died in that hospital bed not yours. Your mom was safe at home with you.”, I said angrily trying to make it clear I wanted off this subject, I was tired of her always bringing it up.


“ You always get like this whenever anyone is just trying to talk with you about this. I’m not saying that I understand what it’s like to lose your mom like that, but you should talk about it, did you ever tell the story, cops don't count”, She was asking questions I didn’t even know the answers to. I couldn’t remember the answers to, I’d blocked that day out of my mind for so long it felt lost. Until now at least as it is trying to break through my barrier. I always have to fight to keep up my barrier when people ask about the past, but more so when Ce asks.


“ It’s none of your business.”,  I snapped hurriedly grabbing my purse from the couch and jacket off the coat rack, “ I have to go see Gage now, it’s a long walk to his dorm from our apartment, bye.”

CeCe looked sad about me rushing off, but didn’t say anything and now it was all her fault that I was upset before my big date with Gage, he was introducing me to his parents and everything.


“ Fate are you okay?”, Gage asked the minute he looked at my face. We’d been dating for two years now and he knew my emotions almost perfectly, I have met his parents before, but he had decided to just introduce me as his friend those few times now we felt it was time to get more serious. This was the worst possible night for Cecilia to do this.


“ Ya I’m fine, let’s just go on to the restaurant...What?”, I asked after looking at the uncomfortable look on his face.


“ I was going to call you, they couldn’t make it, but we can still hang here or something if you want?”, He made it more of a question then anything and I felt bad for my instantaneous wish to be by myself.


“ Let’s go somewhere we can be alone”, I said playfully.


Laughing he grabbed my hand and led me outside to a secluded bench in the courtyard.


We started kissing, but I wasn’t really in the mood and he could tell, “ Fate, sweetheart, What’s wrong?”


“ Well, remember about my mom?”, I asked slowly.


“ Ya your dad did it right? You never really talk much about it, I just figured it was a no go subject. Why what happened?”, He replied confused.


“ Well, CeCe brought it up earlier and asked if I had actually talked about it. I blocked all of it out, that day is a blur. The days I remember are bits and pieces of me in the hospital with doctors checking over me and then when I was released sitting in a room watching my mom’s life fade. I don’t want to remember how I felt, though she seems convinced it would be good for me. Except now I can’t stop thinking about it, all the memories I pushed away and thought I’d finally ran far enough away from are just creating an unwanted torrent of emotion in my head now.”


“ So tell me, I’m here for you to talk to, and I love you. You know CeCe is right you shouldn’t keep it all bottled up. Especially not for five years.”, He looked so honest so open, but I didn’t know where to begin.


 I decided with the night I regret most where I had the option to stop him and instead I stood up for my father.


 By the time I was done I could feel tears and also Gages arms around me. Oddly I felt freer than ever before like I’d let some of my guilt go.

The End

© Copyright 2018 Saphira. All rights reserved.

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