just make it stop.

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

i cant get them to stop talking, they just wont stop... so i guess ill have to do it, its what they want.

Submitted: October 07, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: October 07, 2017



I reach my hands to my ears, trying to block out their words, as they attack like bitter knives. But it doesn’t help… it never does, they stay there like hate etched into my skin, scars that can never leave. Each voice another tone of pain as they sing their violent encouragements. 
The wind seems a faint echo in a crowd of thoughts, trying to keep me grounded as I walk forward, each step a conscious effort, feet dragging and mind racing. I tried to stop myself; I really did, but you wouldn’t believe that if you saw me. Eyes red, hair a mess caught in a whirlwind of thought, covered by a blanket of hate. One voice stands out from the rest, not louder, not more confident, just familiar. It words harsher, more violent than the rest, the words that hurt the most. Screamed on repeat; over and over never ending, never stopping for a break. 
But I really didn’t want to take that last step, I tried to stop, I tried.
But trying doesn’t always help. It never seems to help. I pull myself backward, the wind edging back pulling me to safety, to everyone that I ever lover; not that they felt the same. Not that they ever told me, not once, not ever. But I did it. Of course, I did it, no matter how determined id been that I wouldn’t. I did it. Tears spilling down my cheeks a river of vague and indescribable emotion.
And that was it, my life gone in a split-second decision. Not that it was hard, not that they once tried to stop me. They all wanted it, they all wanted me to go, to be gone, to never have to see me again. So that’s what I gave them, finally their voices left, they all stopped for that moment as I fell.
It happened all at once, I went from hating every second that I had to listen to them to wishing they were still there. Because they were what kept me grounded, yet they are what made it happen. Always pushing me to do it always that thought at the back of my mind. Scratching at my will to live, slowly making life less and less desirable. 

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