Mother

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: October 09, 2017

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Submitted: October 09, 2017

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I could drain out your half in blood in me, but it wouldn’t change a thing

I’d still have your laugh, your anger, your illness
I can hear your voice, screaming at me in the face of my dreams 
I can see the anger and disappointment in your eyes when you look at me
Burned into my vision, always watching, always waiting

I avoid the mirror most days, afraid to see your reflection staring back at me
I want to forget your face
I want to forget your life
I’m reminded everyday by my illness, both mental and physical of the bond we share
Mother and daughter who only ever agreed on one thing, that I should have been aborted
We both agreed that I was a waste, a failure, nothing, I am always nothing
 

I mourn the loss of a relationship I was unable to have, 
I am unstable, as she was unstable, as she before her, a vicious cycle of abuse
I can not have children, and I have come to accept it, because I am ending this cycle
I’ve burned all of our pictures, but those memories still exist in time, they still exist inside of me
It kills me everyday, I am lost, and I am broken, I am alone, I’m bitter, I’m jealous, I’m angry
 

I have a heavy guilt on my soul to protect my fragile mental frame from you
I will forget your face
I will forget your life


© Copyright 2018 Sadie Artley. All rights reserved.

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