Marilene

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic


This story tells a little deviation which I had and all the feelings that I had because of it.

Submitted: October 16, 2017

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Submitted: October 16, 2017

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 MARILENE

 

Well, I don’t know where I`m going to start this story. Although, I`m going to start with the situation`s beginning. It was like, twelve minutes ago. However, I was on the bus when I saw her. I was standing in her front and started analyzing her as meticulously as I could. I don`t know the reason exactly, but that`s the way it was.

She was something about 20, a little more I guess. Her face was a little circular, she had big and fat lips which were a bit sexy, maybe because of her very soft makeup as well as her gloss. she seemed to have a round nose, although I`m not pretty sure because she was wearing big sunglasses. Even though, her eyebrows were thick and very expressive. She had a long black hair and the right side of her head was shaved, because of that, I was able to see that her right ear had two silver rings on it.  Her skin was white, although a little burned by the sun. She had a thick torso and was wearing a beige blouse. She was a bit fat when I think about it now. She was also wearing a colorful skirt.

Well, the first thing I thought when I stared at her was “Wow, how stylish”, but soon, I realized that she might not be that stylish, I think that if a person is that much in fashion, it`s totally the opposite, it means that the person actually has no one style. And if the person is like that, she must be trying to call attention. She wants to be noticed. The more I think about it the more I conclude that she might be confused, something like a rebel or desperate. I think that she is trying to find herself. When I think about it, it seems that she has grown in a very strict place either (maybe with a very religious family?) and because of all the prohibitions and orders that made her feel like an average person, a person who is nothing more than an ordinary common one. She`s trying desperately to be noticed, to be treated as an actual person. She`s trying to affirm herself. She ought to have a very ordinary name though, something generic like Maria or Marilene. Well, I think Marilene is well.

I try to imagine what kind of person Marilene is. She seems to be very curious because she noticed me staring at her and stared me back with an interrogative expression, that later changed to a challenging one. Well, I think that she lives alone and doesn`t have a good relationship with her parents. Because of that she tends to offer so much in love relationships, and because of it, she may have a lot of love deceptions, she will probably have a lot of failings with a lot of people until she finds her right one, this person will probably be someone that is so incomplete as her, and because of that, they will see each other as their own part, they are going to be the couple, not only the individuals themselves.

Or no, maybe she won`t have any failings in her relationships because her heart was torn in ice. Maybe she would become someone self-sufficient, she could be totally complete this way and find herself. She will live as a successful person who is not only a couple part but a whole individual alone. Although it seems wonderful, it would be sad that it is very hard to this kind of people finds durable relationships. Although she is just what it is. Wow, Marilene is surely amazing.

Suddenly, I noticed that it was my time to leave the bus and go home. While walking to home, I realized that I was loving Marilene, not the person seated on the bus, but Marilene. The person whose life was given and invented by me. She was a person as real as me, as my friends, as everybody. Because of that, she isn`t an actual person though, she is only a possibility. I don`t know the person seated on the bus. Her name may not be Marilene, but at the same time, it can be.

I think that this is the way that love may look like. I mean, I know everything about Marilene and any other person in the world can only imagine to know her as much as me. It because she was idealized by me. She is my ideal, she exists only in my mind. It is something very usual for me I guess. Being able to imagine other people`s lives only by looking at them. I think I`ve always done it. And I really love all of “my people”, because they have only me to look at them. I really care about them. Because all of them are my ideal, all of them are little parts of my soul.

That`s the reason (I think) why I`m writing this. I think that these awesome people should be in other people`s mind, not only mine. 


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