Suffering In Silence

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

I've been going through a hard time recently unable to talk to anyone so i decided to write opening.

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Submitted: October 17, 2017

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Submitted: October 17, 2017



Suffering in Silence

No words come out when I want to speak to anyone. I can’t tell my best friend of what I’m going through without him being upset. I can’t tell her again as I’ll know the response already formed in my mind.

I try and stay happy and show my smile hoping that no one will see the pain on the inside burning away. My anxiety has a hold over me so tightly as I’m gasping for air. Can there be another way?

The pressure and expectations from my family have made me weaker as they won’t understand me or my problems. Jumping to conclusions as to how and what I should be, like a tug of war.

What do I have to be stressed about? The stress of not being honest to those who are close to me, scared of the repercussions hoping they don’t break me completely. Let it stop and give me peace

I stay awake at night hoping to get a moment of rest but my mind is running, jumping from one problem to the next until it becomes overbearing for me to handle. Eyes open I stare into the blackness of my room hoping to see a light and show me if there is at all another way.

No one will understand me. I come to the verge of tears but something stops me. The lump in my throat stops me from asking for help. But from whom do I seek help from.

Secrets from them, secrets from her, eating away at me like flesh eating parasites.

I know what it takes for me to be happy but the world won’t work my way. It was meant to be an uphill battle from the moment I started walking. I’m not dwelling on the past because that’s what made me who I am today.

But at the cost of what ? I didn’t even understand anxiety until recently. I couldn’t explain it and it terrifies me whenever I’m alone with myself.

I will smoke until I’m numb from any thought or feeling. Back into the emptiness.

No one will know as I suffer in silence.

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