I can see my brain

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: October 18, 2017

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Submitted: October 18, 2017

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At night, in the darkness, I can see my brain. 

For only a moment.
And then I see the shadows.
For only a moment.
Because if I look directly at them, they disappear.
And then I see my brain again.
And then the shadows swoop in again.
They become hypnotizing.
And before I know it, I'm in a trance.
And before I know it, it becomes overwhelming.
And before I know it, I can't breathe or even move.
And then I blink and see my brain again.
But that's not much better because if you can see your brain, you're probably dead.
So then I focus on the shadows again.
Why can't I just close my eyes and sleep?
Because then I would see the inside of my eye lids and that's almost like seeing my brain except more colorful and with a lot more movement, kind of like the shadows except with more color. 
It's like an acid trip without the acid and without the enjoyment.
I can't sleep at night because the shadows haunt my room and my brain won't stop. 
I can't close my eyes and I can't keep them open.
And I can't sleep with the light on but I can't close my eyes with it off.
Seeing the shadows scares me.
Seeing my brain makes me want to pinch myself and make sure I'm still alive.
Sometimes going to bed at night makes me want to crawl out of my skin.
But really, I just need to dream.


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