true friendship

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: October 19, 2017

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Submitted: October 19, 2017

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Jessica Guille

1010 21 St

Dodge City, Ks 67801

About 7,000 Words

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

True Friendship 

Jessica Guillen

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyle P.O.V

 

It was a bright sunny day here in Houston, Texas. The sun was bright and the birds were singing. I can sound so excited but in reality I really hope the birds die out of hunger and the sun burns us all. Oh, I am sorry I don’t care if you know my name because you will forget it at the end of my life story. Name is Kyle Tucker, in other words the outcast of the Tucker family. 

 

“Kyle! Get your ass down here already! We are going to be late!”

 

My older sister, Ashley yelled from downstairs. I rolled my eyes and looked at myself in the mirror again for the last time. I am wearing this shirt i brought from Hot Topic, it says Please Don’t Talk To Me You Hobo, with my black skinny jeans, and my white shoes. I nod at my reflection and get my bag. 

 

“Finally! Geez you took forever Kyle, If i get called in again, I will blame it on you!”

 

I roll my eyes again but don’t say anything because my sister Ashley is a word i can’t say but i will keep it in my mind. As we walk out the door, the first thing I see, my sisters ugly ass boyfriend and i wont even bother saying his name because he isn't important enough in my story. I ignored their flirting and what sounds like kissing, gross. 

 

“Ashley! If i am late, again, I will blame it on you!” I repeat what she said and laugh at her face. Her mouth is opening like a fish out of water and her glare starts to form, not that i care about it, doesn’t effect me. 

 

“Listen you dipshi-”

 

She didn't’t get to finish that sentence when my mom popped her head out, her and her messy bed hair, with lipstick all over her mouth, the smell of smoke drifts into the air. 

 

“Ashley Tucker! Watch your mouth, and get to school! Now!”

 

I smirk and sit in the car, and on the seat just waiting for Ashley, she mumbles mean words and gets in the car. I hide my smirk and looked out the window, i feel Ashley's glare on the back of my head. As we start to drive to school, I start to panic. I never had any friends growing up, I was always left out of games in school, and never was in any clubs. I wonder when my true friend will come into my life and turn it around. My life in general is bullcrap with some side of poop. We get to a red light, and I listen to the music Ashley has on. 

 

“I hope you know Kyle that i wished you were never my brother, but here you are.” 

 

Ashely is the best big sister you can ever ask for. She has been telling me that for the past 6 years, I was 11 when she started to say that to me and it still hurts like it did back then. I ignore it though, I got so used to it, it hardly hurts now. We finally get to the school, and i get out of that car. I can feel stares. I came out to this school in Freshman year. Sounds so original , but its the truth. I didn't’t see the point of hiding it if I didn't have any friends that would be by my side. 

 

“Hey, if it isn't the fag! I hope you are ready for the afternoon beating you pice of shit!” 

 

The jocks, well some of them said, some of the nicer jocks are shaking their heads, but they can’t say anything because that'll be sticking up the fag of the school. I ignore them and walk straight to my first hour. English, as i walk into the classroom, I smell the strong perfume of the girls. I try not to gag, its the nastiest smell ever! I see some of the girls sitting on the desks and they're wearing skirts, How does that work? I sigh, and go to my desk, which is in the middle, on the left side, next to a window. Thank god. 

 

“Hey did you hear that there's a new girl? Yeah her name is-” They started to say but they were cut off i’m guessing by this new girl person. 

 

“I'm Alex, I moved to Virginia but I am from Texas so i came back.” 

 

“Oh thats cool!” The girl smiles bright

 

Their conversation kept going back and forth and it got boring to pay attention to. She was pretty though, even though she didn't look like the other girls, she sure acted like them. She was wearing a dress, it was black with red roses on the skirt part. She had this little shirt on, it was laced and part of her stomach was showing. She was also wearing black flats. It did fit her well. She knew her clothes, and so did I. 

 

“Where do i sit? Do you know Mandy?” She looks around for an empty seat. Ugh, she better not make me move, that little brat isn't going to get my seat. I warmed it up myself. 

 

“You can sit next to me for right now, since she isn't here today and the teacher assigns you a seat.”  This Mandy chick said.

 

Isn't it sad how I don’t know my own classmates, its a real life struggle to know everyone. I just don’t care, they might have a name but its something that I don’t care about. They don’t know mine, so i won’t learn there's simple as earth science.  I zoom out at the bell ranged, i have good grades and the credits, i have no idea why I'm still in this hell and have to deal with these stupid people, 

 

“Kyle! Are you paying attention?” My English teacher Mrs. Red said.

 

I jump a little and look around, everyone is looking at me and they start to giggle, the dudes whisper among themselves. 

 

“Uh, y-yeah Mrs.Red, I am.” I say sitting up a little bit and hiding my light blush. 

“Oh yeah? Then keep reading from page 167, would you please.”

 

I look at my book, and try to find were we are, I have no idea to be honest. Um, maybe they're here,

 

 

“I watched stupidly as the deer died, as she wiped the knife on her pants and she sheathed it again, then stood up. “I’m going to move her off the pavement. It is better for creatures like her to go back into earth.” It felt as though i had fallen into tar.”

 

(A/N: I got this text from this book called, About A Girl by Sarah McMcarry, page 167)

 

I looked up at Mrs.Red and she was shocked maybe i did get the right text even though i zoomed out. 

 

“That's right Kyle, keep paying attention, its a great story.” 

 

I nod and looked at the book, its a lesbian book, i find it so weird that they can read LGBTQ+ books but they cant accept that i am gay. Stupid ass teachers and students. I don’t know why its bothering me, its been four years. 

 

“Hah, is he is teachers pet? I bet he is,” I heard the new girl named Alex say as she looked at me. I tense but don’t turn my head or they'll know i heard them. 

 

“Nah Alex, he's the fag of the school, he doesn't have a backbone and he never talks to any of us, he's just a fag.” 

 

Ouch, is that what i am to them? “Just a fag,” that's pretty harsh coming from a girl who slept with half the football team and! A teacher, and yet shes the one to talk. I'm not saying anything or ill be just like them. I feel so stupid, thinking that ill make any friends in this damn school. Full of rude, disrespectful, and idiotic people. 

 

“Wait, he's the famous Kyle who gets beat up every fucking day? Damn, must be fun getting beat up for being a sin,” For no good reason my eyes started to water, and I looked out the window, maybe that'll help me bear with this pain.

 

Here's a question for you, why do I get misjudged? Is it because I'm dead and I’m nothing to others to care about? My own family didn't plan for me and yet, i feel so alone like no one wants me. I had enough feeling like this, 

 

“Mrs.Red may i go to the restroom.” I raise my hand and wait for her response.

 

As she nods her head, i leave that classroom and go straight to the restroom. I didn't think ill have to do this here, in the restroom of the school. I sit on the wall and the tears slowly slide down my cheeks and even more start to fall. I don’t have anymore control to this feeling. The feeling of being unwanted, outcast, and unloved. I doubt anyone will miss me and highly doubt they’ll notice ill be dead and gone. Out of this world. 

 

I keep wiping my shaded tears and they keep falling. I sob just thinking about the things i can do to myself without anyone knowing or even caring. I can taste the salt of my own tears, I cover my mouth as i hear someone come in into the restroom. I try my best to keep quiet, 

 

I see the shoes, no, please don’t let it be David my bully. Please, don’t let it be. 

 

“Hello? Is someone in here?” He asked questioning, I stay quiet as a mouse.

 

I'm guessing he didn't hear anything because i don’t hear anything, I get out of the stall and look around and there he is. In all his glory looking straight at me, David. 

 

“Well, if it isn't my good friend Kyle, what are you doing here? Skipping class are we?” He gets closer to me with every step as i take a step back. 

 

“N-no, i needed to use the restro-” He slammed his hand on the stall, 

“Cut the bull Kyle! You want a beat up don’t you? Oh yes you do, your face says it.”

 

He backs me up the the wall and i cry as his fist hits my face. My tears go down my cheeks and he keeps hitting me, i fall and he kicks me in the stomach, 

 

“Shut up! Take it Kyle! You're a fag! Fucking take all of it! You fucking worthless piece of shit!”

 

He yelled at me and kept hitting me, i can feel the blood in my mouth and I take all of it, and hopefully he can kill me on this spot and i can finally leave this place for good. I start to gag and the blood leaves my mouth, he stops, 

 

“Oh god.. Kyle? Man.. shit.. did i kill him?” He knees down, and slaps my face gently, “Stay with me Kyle, fuck, keep your fucking eyes open Kyle, I'm going to get help.” He nods and he runs to get help. 

 

No please leave me here to die, I want to leave this place, I slowly close my eyes and i feel the darkness take over me.

 

“Kyle? Come back Kyle, we are going to take care of you, wake up.” 

 

I feel someone start to shake me and i groan, fuck… so much pain. I open my eyes again and i am staring at the principal Mr. Hernandez, i look down and try to move he holds me. 

 

“Don’t move Kyle, you have a broken ribs and really bad cuts, the ambulance is on its way. Kyle, do you know who did this to you?” He asks as he's so concerned, yeah right, this has been happening for 4 years now and now he's worried. 

 

You should've just let me die, it's easier that way, oh wait you can lose your job that way huh,  

 

“Kyle, can you answer the question.”

 

“I d-didn’t see his f-face,” I cough and hold my stomach, it feels so swollen. 

 

David was standing behind Mr.Hernandez and his eyes showed guilt, regret, and sadness. For what? I wanted to die, i don’t wanna be here anymore, living, and breathing this air. Mr.Hernandez doesn’t say anymore, and he stays quiet, holding me upwards, I can see my blood on the floor, my shirt is full of blood, David is stepping on my blood. That's my blood, I was beat up again. When am i going to stand up for myself? When am i going to stop seeing blood? 

 

The paramedics came in running with the red thing they always have with them. They lay it down next to me and i eye it. I have to get on that or are they gonna pick me up and put me on there? I'm stupid when it comes down to this, 

 

“Sir can you step back? We have to get him to the hospital to check him out, step back please.” 

 

David and Mr.Hernandez stepped back and paramedics picked me up gently. I groan in pain again but this time is louder, i hold my stomach tight and they try to hold my hands from doing that because it can damage my ribs more. 

 

“Son, you have to let go, we are going to take care of you, don’t hold your stomach or its going to hurt more.” They said but I didn't listen, I kept hold of my stomach and ignored the paramedics. Not giving a damn if it hurt or not. They looked at each other and in secret they said something with their eyes, they carried me out, being careful with me since I couldn't be strapped in. I look around and everyone is whispering among themselves again, as if they had nothing better to do. I close my eyes and try to ignore them the best i can, i can feel the tears in the corner of my eyes. They slowly fall and it seems like the world stopped. Until someone yelled, 

 

“He deserves it for being a fag and a sin!” 

 

I cry, not caring if they saw me, i don’t care anymore. Their words hurt, and i am not going to take it anymore. They started to laugh but it seems like they quieted down. It seems like they can feel my pain behind my tears and pain. They carried me out into the ambulance and they put me in. I wiped my tears away and sniffed, the paramedics don’t say a word, and I let go of my stomach. I feel ashamed of myself, I cried over the words. After 4 long years of taking it in, i finally broke and let everything out. I'm nothing but a stupid fag. I deserved the beating, i deserved it all that was given to me. 

 

“You’re gonna be okay kid, stop tensing up. Its not good for your stomach.” He said holding the IV bag over my head and smiling softly down on me. I turn my head, not being used to this attention only when I'm getting beat up or getting made fun of. That remains me, wasn't that voice Alexs’ sounded just like hers. Oh great, another stuck up bitch who hurts others for her own entertainment. I stay quiet and grunt as they drive, I'm guessing they hit a bump because it made my stomach hurt. 

 

“Almost there kid, hold on,” 

 

I nod weakly, i feel my eyes closing, am i tired? Its been a long day, so maybe i am tired. I hear someone yell and i feel the ambulance go faster. I don’t care about that, i want my sleep. 

 

 

I don’t remember falling asleep, I open my eyes and i see a tv hanging on the wall. I look around the room and i start to panic. What's going on? Why am i here? I breath hard and start to yank on the needle. The alarm went off, i don’t care about that, i want to go back to hell, even though no one wants me there. 

 

“Hey! Don't yank the needle you need that, here let me put a new one,” the nurse said and she started to walk towards me, i see David in her and i start to panic, 

 

“Please, get away from me… please don’t come near me,” I beg and hold my stomach tightly not wanting to get hit anymore, and more pain then i was already in. 

 

She stops in her steps and looks at me with sadness in her eyes, she nods and respects my words, she holds her hands up, 

 

“I'm not going to hurt you, I just going to put the needle back in your arm, will you let me?”

 

I think about it, but is what's she saying the truth? She wont hurt me, well… if she hurts me I'll be dead. I nod and let her, she took my arm again and she looked for the vein and as she got the new needle the doctor came, she put the needle in my arm and left, i looked at the doctor. 

 

“Kyle you’re up. I have good news for you.” The doctor says and he gets close with his clip board and smiles down at me. 

 

I nod and listen to what he has to say, hopefully they didn't call my mom, she gets mad at me for everything and i don’t want her to know that i went to the hospital. Even though we don’t have any money to pay the bills, i rather stay here then at home where i get yelled at. He looks at me because I am tensed again. 

 

“I called your mom,”

 

Those are the words i didn’t want to hear, I start to breath hard and he looks at me, 

 

“Kyle are you okay? Nurse!”

 

I grab my hair tightly and start to pull, why? Why did they have to call my mom, I'm dead for sure now, I'm so dead, please. Someone make the pain go away. The nurse came running in and she started to hold my hands but I wasn't having it. I started to freak out more. She quickly let go of me, i started to sob loudly. 

 

“Don’t! Not her!” I rocked myself and pulled my hair more. 

 

Why i am freaking out so much? Her beatings are worse than Davids’ and yet i am used to it so why am i freaking out now? Am i finally seeing that every hit, word, and action I deserve? 

 

“Kyle calm down, she isn't going too hurt you.”

 

No you’re wrong, she has hurt me. Locked me up until the gay was out of me, hit me everyday to make the gay leave my body. You’re wrong doctor she has already damaged me enough. I'm nothing to her, I'm not even her baby, I'm just Kyle. The son who ruined the family who had everything.  I'm nothing but a useless child who can’t do anything right, even my own father left us.

 

They start to hold me down, the doctor holds my arms, his touch isn't hard at all, its soft… he really isn't going to hurt me. I start to calm down a little and my breathing becomes normal again. What has gotten into me? Why am i thinking so down on myself? I have never done that with myself, it pains me. I don’t look at anyone in the eyes, I'm ashamed. I had a panic attack with a doctor and a nurse in the room. I went low, what are they gonna think of me now? I heard the doctor say to the nurse but its a whisper,

 

“Don’t let the mother come in just yet,” 

 

He looked at me but I couldn't meet his eyes, something about him was off and it was scaring me. What can it be? I turn around the bed until I'm facing the wall and the window, I hear a sigh and the door close. Why would they call my mom? What… what about Ashley? I think shes more ashamed of me now, I embarrassed her. I lay there quietly on the hospital bed, its very uncomfortable, and the pillows are so flat. I hear a light knock and someone comes in the room. 

 

“Kyle? Are you awake? Of course you’re not… listen… if you’re even listening to me-”

 

I widen my eyes as i hear Davids voice, but me being scared of him, i say very still. 

 

“Um… i wanted to apologize. I know this might mean nothing to you because i have been hurting you for the past 4 years but,” I can hear David moving around,

 

 

 

“But I-i had no reason to hurt you. You didn't do anything wrong to me or my friends, we just hurt you because you’re gay. We had no reason to. Hopefully you can forgive me, for taking it to far and almost killing you. You don’t have to forgive me, i would understand and I will stay away from you. I promise you Kyle.” 

 

I bite my thumb as he stands there with sadness and guilt in his eyes, he sighs softly and leaves. He closes the door with a light click. Wow, I didn't want an apology. He didn't do anything wrong, but in the end he came up front and he apologized for it. It takes gut to apologize to someone. I turn around and lay on my back, I'm staring at the ceiling. 

 

“What has my world come up to?” I whisper to myself and close my eyes. I didn't get a chance to even sleep until my mom came into the room, with her hair in a messy bun, and the smell of smoke. 

 

“What do you mean you don’t want to see me you little shit! I have to pay for your fucking hospital bills now and you don’t even want to see me! Such a disrespectful son I have!” 

 

She started to glare me at, i sit up even though my ribs hurt. I look her straight in the eyes, and i feel a bit of fear. The doctor comes in running, 

“Ma’am you can’t come on here!” He grabs her hand,

 “Come with me ma’am, he doesn’t want to see you.” 

 

She yanks her arm away and looks straight at me and points her finger, 

 

“Listen to me Kyle, I am your mother sadly, I raised you well until you and your fag ass came out and make your father leave us with nothing!”

 

At this point there was tears in my eyes, but they didn't fall. The doctor looked at me and i was so uncomfortable with her in the room, that I didn't say a word. The doctor grabbed her arm and dragged her away as she kept yelling at him to let go. He didn't listen to her, but one thing did stick with me. Whose going to pay for the bills? My mom doesn't have that kind of money to pay for it and for the bed itself its like $100-$300. We don’t have that kind of money on us. 

 

“Shit.” I say to myself and punch the pillow, i sigh and lay my head on the wall. It was quiet after that, no one came in my room, and I didn't call for anyone. I looked out the window and the sun started to go down. The smell of bleach started to kick in as they cleaned outside my room, the laughs of others in the rooms next to me, and all i see in front of me is the tv. Its not turned on but, its all i see, along the heart rate thing. I can hardly remember the names for these things in the rooms, there's the finger thing, the IV bag and its stick, and the big thing that tells you if your heart is beating right. 

 

I wonder when i can leave this room, and back to my own bed, even though ill be going to school but things are going to change maybe. 

 

 

 

Its been a 3 days and i can finally leave the hospital room, and go back home. I also got the news that i can go to school but to take it easy because my ribs are not fully healed yet. I slowly get up from the bed and sigh. I couldn't get up on the first day and it bugged me because i was stuck on that stupid bed for the 3 days i was here until i had enough. I forced myself to get up and walk around, and the nurses knew not to bug me so it's been good. My mom hasn't come by and check how i have been doing, it bugged me a little bit but now i think nothing of it. 

 

“You ready Kyle? Someone is here to pick you up.” The nurse said, and i looked up. 

 

Someone is here to pick me up? I wonder who it is honestly. She gets my things and I slowly make my way to the door and look around and there she is. My dear big sister Ashley. I keep calm and make my way to the car, as she sees me, she gets out and takes my things from the nurse and with a quiet thank you, the nurse leaves. I open the door and get in. 

 

Its been quiet between us as she got in herself, she hasn't said a mean word or comment. I don’t say a word and stay quiet myself, all you hear in the back is the music, and its sad music. Why on earth? Why is Ashley listening to sad music, she hardly listens to depressing music and yet. She's dressed funny, sweats, with a t-shirt, and a messy bun. 

 

“Why do you look like a hobo?”

 

Those are the first words that i can think of to ask, and she cracked a little smile, she looked at me. For the first time in forever, i see my true sister. The sister who helped me with my middle school homework, my sister who stood up for me when my mom started to hit me, and the sister who cared about me. 

 

“You know, you in the hospital and such, mom being a bitch about it, makes you tired plus i had to wake up early to come and pick you up.”

 

She says making a right turn, as the light turned green. I nod and look out the window and the silence took over again. I didn’t mind it because it was the comfortable silence. She started to hum along to the music now that she changed it, it was, ‘Play That Song’ by Train.

 

I hum along too, and we both look at each other and laugh. She turns it up and we sing along to it. I was already dressed for school so, thats were we went. We were late but we had an excuse. 

 

“Alright Kyle, Ashley, here are your passes, now get to class you two.” The office lady said with a smile. 

 

We nod and take the passes, and we look at each other, 

 

“Ill wait for you after school at the car kay? Don't be late,”

 

Ashley said as she walked away, I nod even though she couldn't see me anymore. I went to my English class and walked in, Mrs.Red stopped teaching and looked at me, everyone was looking at me, and some were whispering. 

 

“Welcome back Kyle,” Mrs. Red said as she took my pass, “Take a seat, we just finished the book, so finish that on your own time kay?” 

 

I nod and go straight to my desk and there sat Alex. She looked at me and smirked, she didn't move though. I eyed her, and didn't say anything though. I sat in the back of the class on the right, and there was no windows but i can deal.

 

“Still no backbone Kyle? Hah, i bet your gonna cry now huh? You fucking baby,” Alex started to laugh but no one else laughed with her. She stopped laughing and looked around. 

 

“Really? You guys are not understanding my joke?”

 

This one guy looked at her, “There's nothing to laugh about Alex because it isn't funny.”

 

“Are you serious? Guys, he got beat up, he deserved it.” 

 

“No he didn't Alex, he's just like us.”

 

“No he isn’t! He's a stupid faggot who can’t stand up for himself!” At this point she was stood up and started to glare at the dude. I'm guessing his name is Austin. 

 

He has this bored expression on his face, he yawns softly.

 

“Give it up Alex. He just got out of the hospital and its a Monday, no one wants to hear your shit. So sit down because my class is still going on.” 

 

Mrs.Red said and she pointed her finger at Alex, and it must’ve bothered her because she hardly ever says bad words and shes a teacher.

 

Alex mumbled but sat down and looked at me, straight into my eyes and she mouthed, ‘Dead’ to me and looked away. I shrugged it off because I didn't care. She can say all she wants, it doesn't effect me as much now that I have let it all out. My sadness, anger, and just my sadness really. I zoomed out afterwards, i looked at the single page of my book, ‘About A Girl’ and I haven't gone further then page 178. I have so much on my mind. 

 

“Alright you guys, class in a minute is ending so, I want you guys to finish the worksheet alright? Its due tomorrow morning. See you guys later.”

 

The bell ranged, and i got my stuff. I cracked my neck softly and went to my next hour. Ugh, i can’t wait for lunch in the gym. 

 

 

At the end of third hour, i went to get lunch and then straight to the gym. I didn't see anyone there honestly so it's the good thing. I sat down at my corner, behind the bleachers and sighed. I looked down at my pizza, and ranch, along with peaches, my stomached growled and i licked my lips. I grabbed my pizza and dipped it in ranch, and ate. 

 

“Mmm pizza,” I whispered to myself and kept eating. A very interesting thing about myself is that i can fit a whole peach into my mouth. I started to do it, and i made myself laugh. But then, I heard the gym door open. I stopped eating and popped my head out, there she is Alex. Ugh, can’t she just move back tho where she came from. 

 

I didn't see it though but is she crying? She is, there is tears running down her cheeks and she doesn't bother wiping them. I was leaning to much and i fell, she turned her head and i hid fast, she wiped her tears fast and cleared her throat, 

 

“Someone there?” She looked around for a bit and shrugged, “I'm hearing things.”

 

She cleaned herself up and left, and i don’t have any words. I have nothing to say. Is she broken as well? Damn… why am i worried! I shouldn't be! She made fun of me and she didn't say sorry about it, and kept calling me names. I sigh and lean on the gym wall,

“I wonder what happened with her…” and in the end i was worried about her. 

 

She might be mean and all but she still makes mistakes and they have feelings. I get up with my food and walk out of the gym, and Alex is standing there with her friends and she sees me. Oh no… shes gonna know i was in that gym! She starts to glare a bit and keeps talking with her friends like nothing is wrong. I did a big mistake by leaving that gym when she just left it as well. 

 

What am i going to do? I have no friends, plus I'm fag. I have no problem with it and I honestly don’t care but… I'm 17 years old and i have no friends to talk to, tell them my secrets and show my amazing collection of stuffed toys. Anyways as I was trying to say, a boy my age should have friends so why am i any different? As i was walking towards class, i was stopped, and you guessed it… by Alex.

 

She wasn't glaring, she was looking at me, and you can easily tell that she was crying, her eyes are almost red. The redness is going away. I couldn't keep looking at her so i looked down, 

 

“I don’t know what you saw in the gym but keep it to yourself, no one would believe you anyways…” As she said that, she let me go and walked away. She didn't say anything else but those words. 

 

But its the same words i would tell myself, ‘No one will believe you anyways,’ I would always tell that to myself because no one believed me when i said i was getting bullied and beaten. So, there has to be a meaning behind her own words right? Or am i thinking about it to much and she has nothing to hide? Ugh, this has my head spinning. What could've she meant, there has to be a meaning why she said it and why she was crying right? 

 

I didn't want to think about it anymore, its got my head so messed up now. I went to my classes since i only had 2 left and went out the day the same but her words stuck with me. I looked for Ashley and there she was just standing there with her boyfriend and it seems like their auguring about something, i stood there and listened. 

 

“Just stop, he's my little brother, it doesn't matter if he's gay Justin.” Ashley said rolling he eyes, and as Justin wrapped his arms around her waist. 

 

“I'm just saying Ash, is it a good thing that he's back? He can’t talk for himself and somehow he gets himself beat up. I'm just saying maybe he should pretend to be straight until the school year is finished.” 

 

At this point, Ashley slapped him, her glare is filled with hate, and anger.

 

“Don't talk about my little brother that way! He might not stand up for himself but he's still my brother! So fuck you!” 

 

She ignored his beg and got in the car, she slammed the door. I walked around the corner and looked at Justin and smirked a bit, i guess i can finally stand up for myself starting here. 

“You know what? I might be gay but i least have guts to talk about someone in front of their faces, not backs. So, next time check your surrendering, and make sure no one is there, dear Justin.” I patted his shoulder and smirked more at his priceless face, his mouth was open and his eyes were filled with surprise, thats what you get you bustard. 

 

So worth it, i walked around him and opened my door and got in before he even got a chance to say something. Ashley looked at me and she smiled and it brighten me up a bit, but Alexs’ words were still in my head. ‘No one will believe you anyways’ 

 

We drove home in silence and i enjoyed it, no words had to be said. The music was there but not loud to bother our thoughts. What am i going to do with Alex though, she's different. I feel somewhat connected to her, this isn't good. 

 

“What are you thinking about that you have a sour face.” Ashley said and she looked at me for a second and then back on the road. 

 

I shake my head, i have to figure this out myself and understand why she said that to me, and even if that means to confront her about it. 

 

“Its just something thats bugging me, its nothing important. Least not to talk about right now.” I hope she understands that this is my problem and not hers. 

 

She nods, and the silences is back and this time it's very awkward between us, i sigh loudly and she looks at me as she parks the car. 

 

“This girl in my class, her name is Alex and she used a saying that i used to tell myself, and its bugging me. Like does she mean something by that, or am i just over thinking it and just me being stupid.” I shake my head and sigh again. It really is bother some because you have to think about the problem this person is going there and i don’t think Ashley understands. 

 

She looked at me and tilted her head, “What saying did she say that you also told yourself.”

 

I tensed and looked away and she knew what i was thinking and sadness filled her eyes. 

 

“No one will believe you anyways.” I whispered those words that i have been telling myself for the past 4 hours since i have came out. She was quiet, the deadly quiet. 

 

Damn, did she understand what i meant? Is she gonna hit me and make me regret that i told her. Those words have great meaning to me, i look back at her and she has tears running down her checks. Crap, don’t cry, please don’t cry. 

 

“Kyle, ugh, damn you, you made me cry.” She wipes her tears and hits her own cheeks softly. She cleared her throat, “If you honestly want to find out, why not ask her yourself and find out why she used the same words to you. That's the best you can do right now.” 

 

She's right, i can’t keep this to myself and not ask Alex why she said it. I nod and she nods as well, she get out of the car and we get my stuff out of the trunk. I waited for an out break from my mom but it never came. It surprised me, hm, thats weird. 

 

I take my stuff from Ashley and went to my room, its so small you can hardly fit two people in the room. The black and gray paint on the walls, and the posters of the penguins pop out. The stuffed animals on my bed are still there, since i have like 4 on the bed and the other 4 on the floor. I have more in the closet and it takes half the space in there, and it bothers me much. 

 

I lay my things on the floor and flop on my bed, it makes noise. I sigh and get one of my toys and hug them and keep saying the words in my head, “No one will believe you anyways.” 

 

I sigh and just try to sleep, its been a long day, but it never comes to me.

 

 

As the morning came, it bugged me, I didn't want to get out of bed. I was scared to ask about Alex and what she meant. Maybe i will ask her, i need to know what she meant. I get up and i yawn loudly, i go to the restroom and get ready for my shower. I think morning showers are so much better. I get undressed and i will stop detailing so you wont a dirty picture of potatoes. Hah I'm funny, I get into the shower and wash my hair and body of a potato. 

 

I will spare you the parts and i got dried up. i look through my clothes and see what i want to wear. Hmm, ah! This red shirt that says in black fonts, I know Am Sexy, and black ripped skinnies, with white vans. Damn i look good. 

 

I look at myself and nod, yup I'm fucking sexy as heck don’t you think? I get back phone, and my bag, i start to walk downstairs and i heard my sisters and moms yells. 

 

“Mom! You’re drunk! Lay down!” My sister yelled and i was still on the stairs listening to them.

 

“No! I have to talk to Ky-“

 

“No you don’t! Lay down! You can hurt yourself.” 

 

I walked downstairs and my mom had a beer in one hand and the other had a smoke. She was swinging back and forth. Her eyes were dilated, and her breathed smelled like death. 

 

“Mom, listen to Ashley you can hurt yourself,” I tired to help her and make her sit down but she yanked her arm away from my hold. 

 

“Shut up Kyle! Listen you are a disappointment.” My mom said crying and taking another drink, “I raised you wrong, i knew you were a demon child the moment you came out of me.”

 

My own tears started to fall and i didn't bother wiping them. Ashley pushed me softly and mouthed, ‘Go’

 

And that’s what i did. I walked to school. My moms words hurt, shes my mom, she gave me life. I sigh and look up. The light changed and now the little white hand is there so i can walk. I did, and i got to the school save and sound. I'm here back in hell and i get in the building. 

 

This time, there isn't any whispers, stares, or even comments. They have stopped. Why? Is this like a dare to see who goes longer no making fun of me? I bet it is, i shake my head and go to my first hour but I get stopped by David. 

 

“Hey Kyle! I'm glad you’re back.” He smiles brightly. That's strange… no name calling? Hmm. 

 

I smile back softly, “I'm not, I rather be at home then here. You know what's happening? I haven’t hear name calling, or comments about me.” I tilt my head.

 

He looks at me weirdly but he understands what i mean, “Oh! They stopped, I guess because they understood the pain i made you go through and i highly apologize for that. I was an idiot and acted like an ass, I hope you can forgive me.” He says shyly and bites his bottom lip.

 

Damn… David is a handsome guy, he has theses bright hazel eyes, when he smiles there's a dimple on his right check and, his hair… it looks so soft. Why haven’t i seen this before?

 

I smile and nod, i blush a bit but my heart feels weird, “Yeah, i forgive you David,” 

 

He cheers and hugs me fast, and my heart beats so fast, i blush more. 

 

“I'm glad! Hey, the bell is about to ring so ill meet you during lunch kay?” He smiles and heads to his class. 

 

I stand there, my heart is going fast, it feels like I'm dying. Anyways, i hurry to my class and look for Alex and shes sitting there, but not in my seat. I frown and walk towards her. 

 

“Um Alex…”

 

She looks up me and her eyes are puffy, but she tried to cover it with eyeliner but you can still tell. 

 

“Yeah? whats up?” She put her phone done, but I didn't want to ask so i ask for the simplistic question. 

 

“Want to be my friend. Like honestly, my first friend…” 

 

She smiled and nodded, I smiled and sat next to her, she giggled. 

 

Maybe this year will change and it wont be so bad, 

 

“So, i saw that hug with David,”

 

Yup, it wont be so bad after all. My life was hell, but… it changes. 

 

 

 


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