Why Did It Have To Be You

Very touching, AmateurAuthor1. Unrequited love is one of the most heartbreaking things I can think of. Your tale of secretly-requited love is moving, and probably more common than some of us think. You build the connection between the two very well. Passionate relationships often start poorly. Beginning yours with a petulant, childish resentment over a girl not being the anticipated boy is a really nice touch. I felt the parallels of my own experience on the march to adulthood as your characters matured and grew closer. The loss is that much more gut-wrenching for their journey.

I couldn't help but feel like it was a prose poem as I read it. The stanza-like structure and refrains between them certainly give it a poetic feel. Perhaps it's just me. I know that genres are just labels at the end of the day. But if you were to take a step closer in either direction, toward short fiction or poetry, I think you might find other facets to your tale. Again, maybe just me.

Thank you for sharing your work. I look forward to reading more :)

Cheers!

H.P.

NICE

Wow, this is a very powerful story. I'm glad that I read it, although it's kind of depressed me :P I'm guessing that was the intention, though. Fine work my friend!

This is such an emotional story! The structure and way it was still out impacted greatly on the outcome of the story, as did the repetitive questions and clear changes in perspective of each of the characters. Even though it was pretty short, it didn’t make th plot any less impactful.
There were a few little punctuation mistakes, but that’s the only thing I noticed that could have been improved. Apart from that, the story was beautiful and passionate, definitely something to be proud of:)

Powerfully written and very moving! It does feel a lot like poetry in prose, what with the measured paragraphs and the repeating desperate question. It's beautifully composed and structured, and loaded with emotions. Excellent work!