Dreaming or Fantasizing

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


Some things are too good to be true, but it's very important to find out whats real when dedicating much of your time to someone.

Submitted: October 22, 2017

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Submitted: October 22, 2017

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Deep breaths take over as you try to calmly sit to yourself, and hopefully meditate in order to figure out if what you're doing is truly worth your while. Closing your eyes and seeing pictures of the past playing back to you as if it were still happening in front of your face. You open your eyes to glance over at the person you feel your heart beating at a faster pace for just to get a clear picture of the person you're about to share much of your time with day in and day out. Though you've only been talking for a short time, you still can draw pictures of you both together playing together in this game of life. Some sit in great grief as they cannot move on from the past hoping that the person that brought the pain into their life would genuinely apologize for the wrong they've done, and never to show their face again because you've seen what evil they're capable of inflicting onto you. Some cry for momma as others cry for papa to hold us, dear, when the person we thought we could give our heart and trust to continue to threaten us by breaking our hearts a little more each day. As we grow older on our own in the world on our own 2 feet we can only recollect the vivid memories of momma giving us advice on whose worth time. Wishing those words had stuck instead of going in one ear and out the other while sticking our emotions in the way to block the truth from their mouths.

They sit and understand your past has been a long journey that had many bumps, so they pretended to care by responding to you with a smile that wasn't really helpful as it only made us feel important to someone other than ourselves. The faith we held for many to get it right time and time again only made us grow colder and more distant as we would rather just make small talk with others rather than really express who we truly are inside. Our minds poisoned from the tobacco, alcohol, and music that drove us into the state of mind we are in today which resemble demons without a soul to love others nor ourselves. You come across a person who you feel might just have good enough qualities to meet these standards you yourself cannot even obtain. Walking around as if we're broken when really it's just a mental illness that should've never formed in the first place. We push away those that have been sent from this heaven wh can show you much better routes and paths to travel in this life. Yet you continue to run for the hills on the other side with a blindfold covering one of your eyes that ha guided you since birth. Closing it more with every puff from a blunt you take, every sip of poison that touches your lips, every bad person you idolize trying to set your expectations of the one that truly cares about you to meet that celebrity. They call you all sorts of names behind your back, and with their friends as you continue to bring nothing but love their way each and every day.

Will the hurt in your eyes disappear before the clock you live on strikes your half point? The answers we seek lie in front of us, beyond the screen we wake up to look at each morning. We've taken the blame for the mistakes of others not realizing that in the long run, you'll forget that the person you didn't want to become your reality. You sometimes shake at night in your sleep without your knowledge because at some point in your dreams you'll see the person that you thought you could trust throwing away your heart, and giving theirs to someone else you know isn't even half the man/lady you have lived this long to be in life. We sing songs in the shower to ourselves that resemble cries for a better way, or even a clearer view of what lies ahead if you continue to give away your love to people that don't care. Forever we remain young, dumb, and brokenhearted as we will never grow until we remove the blindfold over our 3rd eye which could then attract others of a much higher maturity as us. Though we are not afraid to hold our tongues to clearly layout the loveless path we choose to follow. We end up turning away many others that may have the answers we've prayed for those nights we cried for just the right person with their head on their shoulders. Months and years down the line we watch those same people go off to make others happy when that could've been you with the smile on your face getting surprised with a dinner date and an engagement ring to assure that the rest of your lives would be the best filled years to come.

As opportunities come and go because we foolishly let temptation control our souls. We hurt others the same way we used to hurt because of our arrogance. Someone will sleep by your side for many years then one-night sleep by another because they didn't want to hurt you by telling you they were interested in other people, so they choose to break and disintegrate our good spirits for pointless lies. They claim to be our friends for the time being while sharing their thoughts and feelings with someone other than you when it was you that requested and worked for that day by day because you cared. The friends we've come to know will fade with limited memories of good times we've spent together because they chose to have those same moments if not more with another when you thought you were the only one they claimed to love. People today carry no trust for me, yet I trust them to know me more without hesitation. People today will lead you on by claiming they're only looking for a certain thing when all their feelings and actions say otherwise. People push themselves further, yet I stand firm with my hand stretched out assuring peace is near. People would only hear what you're saying, yet I listen to every thought, problem, feeling, and view in order to truly understand you. People will insist you're the only one they can love as a fiance, yet I watch many travels across town to cheat with coworkers, friends, and what not. People present to you a small portion of their ugly heart, yet I proudly wave my heart and soul for the world to see just how happy I can be with you. Only a true friend/lover will understand me when i say you don't spell love, you feel it!


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