The loss of my Mom

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic


The passing of my Mom.

Submitted: October 27, 2017

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Submitted: October 27, 2017

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I remember driving down Westfield Ave in Roselle Park on the way to a delivery. My phone rang, it was Eileen. The report came back on my Mom. Lung cancer. It had metastasized. I picked up Eileen and we drove to my parents house. My Dad was at ShopRite. We couldn’t tell my Mom without my Dad there. So we waited around the corner. When we saw my Dad’s truck we followed it down the street. He was so happy to see us. We didn’t usually stop by during work hours. We told him to come in, we have something to talk about. The smile left his face. We explained the situation to them. My Mom didn’t look upset. She asked how long she had? We told her we have an appointment for her to see the cancer specialist. 
After more testing it turned out to be a false positive. My Mom was indifferent to the results. Almost disappointed it seemed. She was dealing with many issues. She endured the loss of a child, which you carry with you forever. My Father’s need for an aortic valve replacement and triple bypass. And my surgery to remove my left kidney due to cancer. Not a good thing on a person with a bleeding disorder. The last two within weeks of each other. It seemed it was all too much for my Mom to endure. The loss of my brother, the possible loss of her husband, or other son, OR BOTH was not an option. She needed a plan. 
She came up with one. She was going to end her fear. The only selfish thing this woman ever did her whole life. She stopped eating. We begged her to eat. We swore it was all going to be ok. But that was a chance she wouldn’t, no, she COULDN’T take. It didn’t take long. My mom was frail to begin with. I remember the hospice nurse showing me how to administer the morphine every couple hours. She said my Mom probably would not make it through the night. Eileen offered to stay. No, this was MY job. Eileen watched her parents go to heaven already. So there I was. In my living room. The same room we watched the Munsters, Adams family, Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom and The Wonderful World of Disney. Sitting between my parents like I did as a child. My father on the sofa, my Mom on the loveseat. When she became restless I administered more morphine. Is this really happening I thought. Toward the morning is when I knelt at her side and apologized for having hemophilia and ruining her life. To my surprise she whispered “you were the sunshine of my life”. A sentence I will hold dearly till the day I die. She passed shortly after. I watched as she took her last breath. Mixed emotions. VERY mixed emotions. She was finally at peace with my brother. I called Eileen and the hospice nurse. They arrived within minutes. But my dad, my dad stood in the center of the living room staring at my mom’s lifeless body. I heard him say quietly “my wife is gone” with tears rolling down his face. I didn’t know what to do. Eileen did, she hugged him. Eileen always knows the right thing to do. 
I’ve never built skyscrapers. Inked million dollar deals or dined with presidents. But my parents in their life AND death taught me empathy, respect, compassion, tolerance, and kindness. If that has any value, I’m a wealthy man. A VERY wealthy man. ????


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