The Forsaken Race; The Hidden Truth
Reads: 6775 | Likes: 46 | Shelves: 22 | Comments: 70
Book by: Raven Akuma
This is the anime/manga that I want to create. . .even if it might not ever happen.
Kita is a pariah among her race, the Aubade sylphs. With only two friends and a bad reputation, her life is not going too well. Especially with the constant, strange nightmares that prevent her
from sleeping. After a while, though, Kita begins to see that these nightmares are beginning to set a path for her. She follows this path until she uncovers the story of a forsaken enemy; the
Zyrean demons. Seven of these monstrous demons are trying to eliminate her queen, one of the few sylphs that Kita actually cares for. Because of this, Kita embarks on an arduous quest to find a way
to end the Zyreans. But how will things play out after Kita meets Leiytning and Thundur, the legendary Storm Twins? What does Kita not know about this war?
"I will be posting this story on RoyalRoadl.com "
Table of Contents
Submitted: October 29, 2017
Submitted: October 29, 2017
Submitted: October 29, 2017
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Submitted: November 15, 2018
Submitted: November 17, 2018
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Submitted: November 25, 2018
Submitted: November 26, 2018
Submitted: December 05, 2018
Submitted: October 29, 2017
Submitted: October 29, 2017
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Submitted: August 30, 2018
Submitted: October 29, 2017
Submitted: October 29, 2017
Submitted: October 29, 2017
Submitted: August 30, 2018
Submitted: October 29, 2017
Submitted: October 29, 2017
Submitted: October 29, 2017
Submitted: October 29, 2017
Recent Comments
Wow! Well, this book is interesting, especially the dream. Although dream starts are common, it still depends on what it shows and in my opinion this one is a nicely written.
Your descriptions are great too! It's easier to imagine what the characters do and see.
So Kita, I can relate to her, somehow hahaha. Being that weird one who only had a handful of friends who accepts him for who he is. So, yeah, I'm excited to see what you did with her character
Great Start, beautiful description, interesting characters and exciting plot!
Author
Reply
thanks for the feedback! Kita is a special character, and she's one of my personal favorites, so I'm glad you like her.
The descriptions are a little tricky because, you know, it's a fantasy-anime book, so there's gonna be some weird stuff...anyways, it's good to hear that they're not as bad as I thought they were, lol
This was a great chapter! I kinda feel bad for Kita, she also has those scary dreams. I'm really interested to see what those are! I like it!
Author
Reply
Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it, thanks for reading :)
I’m hooked, Raven. So pumped to read the rest of this book. That prologue. Wow! Great start and this first chapter is great too. Makes me want to know what this dream is about. Great write. Please do consider reading some of my Pussy Reaper’s series. Thanks and blessings,
Joy
Author
Reply
Thank you so much for reading! It's an honor to have the author that created Pusy Reaper comment here- I read the first story, and plan to read the rest. Please forgive my busy schedule and nervousness to comment XD
It's good to have a map, but when it's so simple and self explanatory, I would say you should drop it. If there were capital and a couple of islands around, I would say you should keep it
Ok. Dream. The way you told about the dreams was making me think she woke up, then fell asleep, then woke up and then fell asleep. I would tell it another way. However the dream creates a lot of interesting possibilities and mysteries, making me curious
And there the person shows up and gives us exposition, ruining the mystery. Ok, he replaced it with a weaker mystery of "what will her fate be like"? Also, here there be tropes. Here is the talking to person at night trope, if it isn't a weak cliche. And it seems to be a destiny's keeper or something
Hmm, that was a creepy creature. My first reaction was the attacker from the previous chapter. My second reaction was the Grim Reaper
Nice descriptions as she woke up. Now I'm mostly curious on if she lives alone. The previous chapter would imply they're from the far past, but now I'm curious to what era she is in. Hopes: living alone in the modern area. Let's see if that's true
Wait. You explained about the dreams now? Why did you have to confuse me with explanation earlier? Also, cute dog. I imagined it as Finoa's puppy from Shrek 2
She has bad reputation? I'm curious. And who are these Yuna and Mao? I'm curious about that as well. And why did she force herself out of the train of thoughts when her father was mentioned? I like these mysteries
This was a good chapter. You did what most people tell you to not do with a chapter : have a dream and then wake up to a casual day. In other words, how like 50% of YA opens. However, you did this and nailed it! There were one or two things I pointed out, but else? Great. I could see the scenery if I tried, so your description is almost perfect there. And you make the reader ask questions, creating mystery and tension. Great
Author
Reply
Wow, this advice is great! I am starting to see that the "wake up from mysterious dream" beginning is pretty cliche. Despite being a teenager, I am kind of stuck in the older times. I'm drawn to some classic "cliche" things like that setup, but it does get annoying when you're trying to be original...and failing at it XD
Also, map noted. I think I might just take it down, it doesn't really do anything.
For the sake of avoiding spoilers, I won't really give an answer about Kita's father, or the creature (sorry!), but that question about Yuna and Mao actually gets answered soon.
The dreams themselves, and the message, wasn't really the intended mystery...kind of? Idk, there's more to the story than JUST those, and I think I kind of twisted things later on to the point that it's still surprising while fitting in. Not an easy thing to do, found that out the hard way, lol.
Anyways, thank you for reading, and commenting with this valuable feedback! :)
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