Why?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: October 30, 2017

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Submitted: October 30, 2017

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A late night converesation where you defied all expectations.

A degree of intrest I'd never thought I'd see.
Yet stil I stand behind these walls ready for the chance to flee.
 
A broken, emotional wreck terrified of attention, 
but then you flashed a smile to a whole new dimension.
 
A place where the world didn't look so cold.
A place where my existance was coated in gold.
 
You said I was beautiful and for the first time I felt it.
 
Days came and went, but you were stll here.
I was living a story better than Shakepeare.
 
Where have you been? I thought as I let down my walls.
The light that would guide me through the nightfall.
 
No longer alone, nothing to fear.
Never thought it'd last through the years
 
I was never that girl, with the model looks,
Or the unexpected love story written in books.
 
I could never wow a crowed as I walked in a room,
I would never be a flower that finally bloomed.
 
But when you looked at me none of that mattered.
The glass shield around me had finally shattered.
 
And then the dark storm rolled over our castle
It's winds destroyed everything with such facile
 
I stood amongst the rubble in shock and awe.
Staring at the ruins and crushed devils claw.
 
Screaming out your name I searched and searched
'Til a sick realization caused my steps to lurch.
 
I wasn't going find you for you were nowhere near what remained,
And as the debris collected on my cheeks, I stood there tearstained.
 
This evil bing crept up on me in the darkness with no sound.
Too confused to get away it pulled me to the ground.
 
Why wasn't I good enough? Why'd you have to leave?
You said you'd be there always. You said that you loved me.
 
Was it just some wicked game to play; to see if you would win?
To see if you were good enough to make me let you in?
 
I can hardly face myself in the mirror on the wall.
Sitting on the bathroom floor drowing in alcohol.
 
Those are just the days I will myself out of bed.
The days I manage to rid off the thoughts of how I wish I was dead.
 
How did I get here? How did you get so deep? 
How did you manage to take control of me?
 
Nobody knows the struggle, but I can't seem to forget.
Nobody knows you're slowly killing me like a cigarette
 
Deep down I know I'm in control and you have no power over me,
Yet somehow still you take ahold and my heart just lets you be.
 
It's been two years, I'm out of tears 
And my mood is never clear.
 
I no longer cry, but I'm dead inside as I mindlessly live each day
I'm tired of fighting, but it's too much pain to let your memory stay.
 
I Just wish I knew what made us go awry,
I just wish you'd give me an honest "why?"


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