Life In The Making

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Life may not have be what you thought it would be as a young adult. Now we are in the real world who knows what's next. I'm a young adult figuring our life and trying to figure out who I am.

Submitted: October 30, 2017

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Submitted: October 30, 2017



when I was sixteen I always thought by the time I reached twenty-two years old I would be living alone and persuing my career goals. Now, that I am twenty-two years old life is not what I planned it to be. I'm at the age where people cant't wait to be at. Most people are even living their college dreams , partying with friends, and even taking an occasonal vacation. I never grew up to be this person who loves to party, or even had to much friends. I pretty much had a few friends through out my life.

At twenty-two years old I am living with a house old of ten...yeah you read that right TEN. I share a room and car with my sister, but thankfully she's moving soon to start her own life with her new husband. I work at a job that I dread because my boss is an idiot, but this job pays well so yeah.. I'm just sticking till I finish school. I'm stuck when it comes to school, well because I don't even know what I want to do with my life. I have no extra hobbies, or talents...sadly, I have no friends anymore, The only freind I had by the time I\graduated got pregnant and well you know shit happens.. She now has friends who have kids like her.. I guess you can say we couldn;t relate to one another anymore.

Oh shit back to me ..where was I?

Oh... yeah can say that I am STUCK. All the people I went to school with know what they want. They can do hair, make-up, eyebrows, nails and even a way with fashion..but me I have nothing....just my enjoyment of reading. I've gained weight, my emotions are eveywhere all the time I don't even know if it's mood swings or depression.  I feel it in me..I'm not the same person anymore. The life in my eyes is dimming, but I'm fighting it. I catch myself crying for reasons I  don't even know of. Do you want to know what I did for my twenty second birthday....NOTHING. The only thing that went through my mind that day was "Is this it? Is this my life?" I cried my eyes out because I was so disppointed in myself and the lack of success I have reached.

I never tell anyone what I'm thinking, I never vent, I don't even tell my sister how I feel and she's the closest person to me. I  don't even know why I've decided to write it on here... but it's like my fingers won't stop typing.

My relationship is breaking apart..well In my eyes it is. We havn't even had sex in 6 months. Every time we did try I just couldn't get myself into it. There are days I didn't even want to look at him not because he would get me mad, but because I felt bad for him. He had to deal with my depressing moods , he pressed me to talk with him, but its like the words couldn't come out. He went to texas to work with my dad , we didn't even have sex before he left..shit we didn't even make-out. I don't even know when was the last time we did make-out.

I'm blank.. I can say proudly that the twenty's has been the worst period of my life.I'm unhappy in my home, my relationship, my life. I'm just unhappy PERIOD.

what is next for me, I know my life will turn around eventually , but right now I'm just waiting .. and I don't even know what I'm waiting for.

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