what is this thing called "love"?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic


In this essay "What is this thing called "love"?" I go on a long rant of what I have found to be the problem with my generation of males and females, at times I feel like the only one with common
sense and actually act Logical in situations instead of spouting nonsense.

Submitted: November 03, 2017

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Submitted: November 03, 2017

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Before I continue to speak my thoughts onto this document, please let me inform you that this is not directed towards anyone, anything and maybe everything could be found offensive throughout this document. So let me forewarn and apologize for any feelings I may or may not hurt through this process.

Hi, I am…..well I am known by so many different names nowadays it’s kind of gotten ridiculous, but you can just call me Mars. I don’t have many dreams or hardly any goals, I am just that kid trying to kick life's ass one step at a time. Awhile back I did decide I wanted one thing in life, everyone has it at one point during their life, to what you do with it is what the problem is, some people have it and never realize it was there. Some just dismiss it and say there is no such thing and would prefer to hop around pleasing themselves, but everyone at one point in their life has to have an ounce of love.

It’s a cheesy goal, I know.It’s also an “easy goal to achieve” according to many. For some reason though I can’t find what they say is true. I have asked all my life, why do so many males disrespect and mistreat females, what did they do wrong? Is it to show your dominance? I don’t think there is one simple answer the this question, but I do think I am getting closer to the many answers of this question.

By no means is this okay.I just have been trying to find out the answers to my own question. This is what I have found it. I have had a total of 4 girlfriends or partners in my life. At first, I’m sure anyone can tell you, it’s a great feeling. You think that you’re loved and cared for. You want nothing more than to be with this one person, you would lose countless hours of sleep for them, waste tons of money for them, shit I went to as far to say I would put my life down for them. You think the feeling is mutual, you believe both sides feel this way. Let me give you a couple of examples of what a female would say

“I want to be with you and only you.”, “You are my one and only, no one could replace you.”, “I love you so much, I can’t wait until we move in together and have children and go on our honeymoon.”, basically implanting a bunch of bullshit into your head, taunting you with these ideas. And then one day, it’s gone. Endless possible ways of this ending. I just felt like I have been played with for fun, as if I was a cat's ball of yarn. "I want to marry you Mars." this one phrase alone was enough to shatter my insides, At this point you have me thinking of our future as husband and wife, having kids, growing old and dying together. and yet all of my relationships have ended in these ways. I just can't see what I did wrong.

  1. I was Cheated on

  2. “Wasn’t ready to date”

  3. I was backup for the next best thing to come along

  4. Had feelings for two people at once

 

Now this leads me all the way back to my original question, Why do males treat females the way they do? Well, I believe this is one of many and also endless reasons for it. Trying to find love is like trying to find a diamond, I feel that I have to get past countless obstacles to actually find what I am looking for. I have decided to keep a mindset ever since the end of my 3rd relationship, so I can act the proper way one would need to act in the event of a break up. The quote I keep in my head all hours of the day is “Don’t Love Too Much, Don’t Hope Too Much, Don’t Trust Too Much, Because That Too Much, Is going to HURT You so much..” So to avoid the maximum level of pain or hurt I feel it’s best to keep this mindset.

Some just can’t deal with such pain throughout their life, which I can understand, so whatever option best suits you I would say go for it. There is no right or wrong option for everyone. All options I believe has to have some benefit and fall to it, just some options have more benefits and less falls than others. But be damn confident in whatever you choose. Anywho, this is my grand long rant about how much heart ache this can cause one. Love is whatever you make it out to be I guess, and I just haven’t found that person who makes it out the same way I do. Happy Holidays Everyone (Thanksgiving to be exact ;)).

 


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