Secret Crush

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

A story for anyone who has a secret romance that they keep hidden away.

Submitted: November 03, 2017

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Submitted: November 03, 2017



I don't know his name, and I don't know how old he is. He seems to be near my age, and I know he must live within a 10 mile radius of the gym where we both workout. It's funny how I noticed him right off the bat, but didn't feel anything until a few weeks ago. Maybe it's just my own little heart yearning for some romatic excitement. Recently I've been the only one making any moves in my current relationship. I love my boyfriend, we wouldn't have lasted these 5 years if I didn't truly love him. 

I think it's more that I just want a little excitement, even if it's all kept to myself. I'm not the type of person to cheat. I don't necessarily want there to be any sort of physical element to this secret little crush of mine. In fact, letting it become physical would ruin everything. I'm happy just to admire him from afar. 

I can tell he's been dedicated as far as fitness goes. His arms and shoulders are chiseled to perfection. He's not exactly ripped like a body builder, but more graceful and lean like a god of Greek mythology.  He seems to like to run; sometimes he spends upwards of 45 minutes on the treadmill, zoned out in perfect concentration listening to his music. I wonder what kind of music he likes? 

I've never seen him come to the gym with anyone, so I'm not sure if he has a girlfriend. I have to admit that I hope he doesn't. I would feel guilty quietly pining over another woman's man. I already feel guilty pining after anyone other than my boyfriend. I don't know how to alleviate this feeling; this attraction that I have out of pure and curious lust. 

Does this happen to people often? Is it normal to become attracted to a total stranger out of the blue? I just like to look at him and daydream about what his life is like. Does he have a dog? Where does he work? Would he prefer coffee or tea? I just want to know without ever having to talk to him, but that would be impossible. 

I've made it my secret goal to atleast make eye contact with him one of these evenings at the gym. I think if I manage that I will finally be released from this secret affair of the heart. I want things to go back to normal, but at the same time I don't. My soul is yearning for affection that I'm lacking. So why don't I just say that to my boyrfriend? I guess I'm afraid that it'll hurt his feelings or make him feel like he isn't good enough. That's not it at all, it's just been so long since we've made any sort of real effort to excite each other. 

I'm sure a lot of couples go through slumps at one point in their relationship. I don't want anyone but him, and at the same time I don't want to give up my curiosity with my gym crush. I find myself wondering what it would be like to brush back his sleek black hair from his forehead while he's sleeping. These are the thoughts that I want to keep to myself. Lock them all up in a small corner of my heart along with the memories of past flirtations and crushes. 

Then I start to think, what's the harm? Why can't I have a small secret to keep all to myself? I know I'll never act on it, and I don't see myself as being the hottest catch in the gym so I doubt anyone's looking my direction either. But this one small admiration is something I don't necessarily want to be rid of entirely. It may just be that little devil on my shoulder egging me on and letting the image of him ebb in and out of my daydreams. 

I think the best part is that he is my own small secret that is just for me. No one will ever know, it's just for me. I don't many things that are just mine, but he- he is my own secret crush. 

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