Wonder What If...

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Ever wonder what your life would be with and without your passion? I know mine and I let it slip away from me while I watched it move further from my reach. Realizing too little to late what impact
my regrets would have on myself now and sitting here wondering.

Submitted: November 05, 2017

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Submitted: November 05, 2017

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There is a moment in everyone’s life when you feel something that takes your breath away like cold morning air in winter. Like the whole world laded out before you like the open palm of your hand. A moment that you wish could last a lifetime and more. For me, that is every single moment I watch someone dance and dance myself.
As a little girl I loved to dance. Down the aisles at Wal-Mart, at church, anywhere, I was always dancing. At the age of six, I began participating in dance classes at Lasley Elementary School. Each year, I enjoyed dance more and more, and it grew to become my second home in my own world. I did and said anything I could to get into more lessons. I would watch videos online as I got older and copy the movement down to the instructors last breath in the routine. Dance is not just practiced steps and coordinated body movements to the sound of music, not to me. Dance is like as natural as taking a step and expecting the ground the not crumble beneath you. You don’t even think about it. It is something I feel with every breath I take. Dance is where I feel comfortable and pushed to learn and grow. It is my own personal way to express every emotion and feeling I could ever have. That is not a passion you can learn to have, its instilled in you.
Today, I don’t dance. It seems I have forgotten how to make it a priority instead of making excuses. I secretly watch dozens of dance videos a day on my phone and at work wishing I still did it. Wondering how my life would be if I hadn’t stopped in the first place. I get depressed from time to time and I often find myself thinking about if the reason comes from losing something that is just simply an apart of who I am. I strongly believe depression for many people stems from having too much regret to handle so you feel sad, worthless, and not yourself any more. There comes a point where if you feel like a stranger in the mirror, and you become that person, and you are now living a lie you never set out to tell.
But let it be said, it is never to late too open your hand back out in front of you and find your world again because no matter what age you are that passion will never evaporate from your soul.


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