Depression

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic


This is my story

Submitted: November 06, 2017

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Submitted: November 06, 2017

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6 november, 2017 Sometimes in life you just dont have any dreams, expectations, spirit, affection for people around you, you just wanna leave this world alone and leave and rest in peace. This is what i feel right now.. I dont know how it started, i dont want to know. I just know that i want to die. Just die and leave everyone alone is what i crave now so badly i cant even describe. I wish i had a gun right now so that i could push the trigger in one second and just get it over with.I dont care about anyone anymore. I feel like my brain is not working anymore. I feel like i am hollow inside. Something is eating me from inside. I dont care if someone beats me up or scolds me or humiliate me. I just wanna be invisible. I wish there was a simple way to kill myself. I dont have the guts to cut myself, i can strangle myself to death but m not sure if it will work. I dont want this to be a fail. I dont want to live like this girl who tried to kill herself but failed miserably. So what choice do i have now. I dont have any kind of pill to kill myself with. I dont have any wish to do anything right. I just wanna be in a dark room, sleep and forget everything for a while. I feel like a timebomb is ticking inside of me and its gonna explode soon. I wish it explodes soon. I want it to to explode and just burn me with it. I cant live anymore seeing the dissapointed faces of everyone around me. I cant live with it. I do wanna be happy again, to go someplace beautiful and play. I wanna have friends who would not leave me alone,who will be with me always. I feel like everyone around me is dissapointed in me. I am giving so much pain to people around me that i feel like i should ripp my heart out of my body and just burn it. Then pull my hair so hard that it rips through my skull. I feel so worthless, so useless, so much in pain. How can i feel so much pain when m not even wounded or bleeding. How can this be real that a girl who used to be out all day playing outside when she was little with boys and girls, now doesnt even want to put a leg outside the door of her house. How is this real.


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