Broken Down To Be Built Back up

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic


Written for when my life was spinning out of control going somewhere tragic knowing that I was helpless to stop it.

Submitted: November 07, 2017

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Submitted: November 06, 2017

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 I’ve stared at words for so long yet none of them I speak
So many lives I've lived yet none of them my own
So many emotions I've felt for someone not myself
So many pages I've turned yet all of mine remain blank

 So rarely do I look up from these pages, yellow, stained, torn and inked
To view around me four walls and no change
Self imposed isolation that I long to leave yet never brave enough to take the first step out

 A passing by a whirlwind before my eyes
But all is silent around me as I lay in the center of the storm
A hurricane, a tornado, a raging breeze
But I remain anesthetized in my denials and self-deprecating lies

As if mud had baked and hardened around my feet, (rather worse would be muddy)
Or chains that opressed me as if I was an anchor tossed out to sea,
As sopping clothes that pulled at my limbs leaving me paralyzed, incapable of movement
I remained entrapped amongst these surfaces; soft and fluffy, hard and unforgiving, vile beguilements, such deceit, tenderly embracing me 

 Sugar coated words voiced by a silver tongue rasped into my ears,“Why live, if only to exist?” 
And as a fool I leaned in to listen to the devil's script
 I fell straight into the abyss where despair reigned sovereign and where my skin was stripped bare
Fettered for the sins I had committed and plagued by those demons (day in and day out)
I searched for a path, eyes crazed, fingers broken, clenched, and holding on to the frayed remains of my sanity
The fragile pieces of my soul were dying to be saved; Searched for a door and answers hoping to see them before me
And I resigned myself to pleading, to losing all pride that was built upon lies, to bended head and knees then gave myself over to seeking diligence, honesty and grace


I was gripped tight held in a blazing heat of warmth and leaves and summer eaves
And I was clothed in these: a robe, a garment and a ring splendorous and white
I stood on shaky soles, a shoulder to anchor me and given words that I could speak and a story that I could share,
My pages were no longer bare, stark, lonely, or cold, but filled to the brim with songs and praises and tears of joy that turned the papers soggy and warm

I could sing once again because I was free,because I woke up each morning with breath given to me, thanks I gave and I did not look back, as the past no longer belonged to me. 

 

 

 


© Copyright 2018 A.L.L. All rights reserved.

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