The Forsaken Race; Darker Times

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 10 (v.1) - The Void

Submitted: June 22, 2018

Reads: 122

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Submitted: June 22, 2018

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"This is your fault, you stupid bitch!"

Despite her being used to this, Mao flinched upon hearing the intense argument that was happening downstairs. 

Right now, she was in her bedroom; a small room decorated with so many random, colorful trinkets that her dresser and table were overflowing, forcing her to leave some on the ground or hang them from the walls. The lights were off and a blanket covered the only window, making the once-bright room dark. 

Mao herself was on the bed, wearing a ruffled gray dress. Her turquoise hair wasn't wavy anymore, nor was it shiny or tidy. It was tangled and messy, full of knots. Her gauntness and lifeless green eyes finished the gloomy image. She adjusted herself position, trying to block out her parents' arguing.

Why do they have to blame each other for everything? It wasn't either of their faults if we were robbed again.

Though she wanted to intervene and make them stop, Mao knew better. If she tried to get in their way, it would only resort in them blaming her. She wouldn't mind that, but the problem was that it wouldn't stop the argument. As a matter of fact, it would only make it worse.

Just...stopFocus.

Mao tried to focus on what she was doing; polishing her white leather boots. However, such a simple task left her entranced. She seemed to forget the world around her, drifting deep into her own thoughts. It made her sad. There was only one thing she could think of, now. The yelling reminded her of it.

"I usually go to Kita's when they fight..."

Of course it used to be typical for Mao to go to Kita when things like this happened. It was like her safehouse until the coast was clear, and she could return without getting involved in a fight. Yuna's place was off-limits since her brother was too shy for guests to be over, and Yuna herself was often away for work. Kita was often home, and lived alone, so Mao was able to go over there whenever she liked. When Yuna did join, it seemed like everything was perfect. Nothing could make Mao happier than moments like that; staying with her two sisters and forgetting their own degrading lives.

Oh, Kita...I miss you...

Mao was brought back to reality when seeing a teardrop pelt the boot she held. She tried to stop thinking of her lost friend, but couldn't stop. 

She let out a grunt of anger, threw the shoe across the room, then started sobbing.

"What happened to you?! Wh-Why would you leave us? How could you?!"

This reaction was to be expected. For the last time Mao saw Kita was in the Aubade Palace, the same night when she returned from completing her mission. Kita had met her and Yuna in the dark corridors, then tried explaining things that Mao couldn't quite comprehend. Afterward, Kita ran into the shadows, never to be seen again. The guards that were after her didn't say anything, either. Yuna and her were left in the dark, while their best friend was possibly getting herself killed in an alien land.

Nowadays, with each day- no, with each hour that passed without a word about or from Kita, Mao only grew more and more hopeless. She would often wake up in the middle of the night, reaching out for her, but would fail. Every time she dreamed of this, Mao wanted to believe it was like Kita's nightmares. It was a sign that she could reach Kita somehow, if she followed the right path. However, Yuna would only contradict and say it was a symptom of her depression.

...Yuna...

As for Yuna, she was dead to Mao at the moment, and she wasn't taking it easy. Now she not only lost Kita, but her as well. Both her sisters were gone. 

There was a reason for Mao to be angry with Yuna, though. This was because while Mao was doing everything she could to get Kita back, Yuna had proclaimed her dead, and started acting like she never existed.

Mao sighed with defeat, falling back on the bed. She blankly stared at the roof, without a care in the world. Not in a happy manner, but a literal manner. The only things she did care about were gone. Now, it was just emptiness left within her. Just the black void that appeared when she began considering the most likely truth. 

Despite her denial, Mao knew deep inside that it had to be right. Kita had been living among demons for nearly two months, now. According to Mao's research, these beasts would not welcome her with open arms. The chances of them killing her with no mercy were too high. The words came from Corelia herself, just to reinforce the statement. Mao could still remember the conversation.

Then, in Corelia's observatory, it was the very morning after Kita's disappearance; five-o'clock. Yuna and Mao anxiously begged Corelia for information on where Kita was. Mao could remember her own desperate pleas.

"Please, your majesty, please tell us!"

Corelia was obviously unnerved and stressed, not wanting to talk much, but strained herself to answer in a calm and collected manner.

"I...I know you worry about your friend," she sighed, running her fingers through her violet-streaked hair. "I'm so sorry. Mao, Yuna, the demons we had contained...Kita felt enough guilt to speak with them, while they were in their cells. Their snake-tongues bent her will again. They forced her to work against me."

"Oh no," Yuna's eyes filled with dread at the thought. "You're not saying th-that...that you did something to her, are you?"

The same dread instantly reflected in Corelia's expression. "What? Of course not! I'd never; I love that girl like she were my own, just as I do many of my subjects. I'm trying to say that Kita acted against us. My guards saw it fit to attempt detaining her, and attempt they did. But Kita was evasive, and convinced that the demons were her true allys. Therefore, she had to return to their land."

Mao gasped. "She went back?!"

Corelia sighed again, a look of deep sorrow and sympathy reflecting in her eyes. "I'm sorry, I truly am. However...If the truth is what you seek, then the chances that the demons did this randomly are low. I think they wanted her to return so that they could gain vengeance. The second she'd explain everything, they'd have no reason to keep her. The truth of her fickle loyalty already came out, and when considering the demon leaders' very merciless reputation...Well..."

Tears started leaking from Mao's eyes. "Y-Y-You don't think she's really gone, do you?"

 "'Think' is all we can do," Corelia replied. "But as I said, the chances are very low."

 

 

They hadn't heard anything from the palace since then. Even though Corelia's words reinforced the prospect of Kita being dead, Mao had marched out of there more angry than sad. She was mad at everyone; at the queen, at Yuna, and especially the demons. Everyone was her enemy. They were all against her. 

Yuna was the worst, though. She was against Mao just because she wanted to stay hopeful. Yuna told her to abandon the stupid idea, then it wouldn't hurt so bad when they confirmed. To Mao, 'abandon the idea' meant abandoning Kita, even when there was the tiniest sliver of possibility that she was still alive. Mao told this to Yuna, but not even that much deterred her thoughts.

Maybe I am thinking childishly. Maybe it is stupid. But it's a hell of a lot better than facing the truth! I'd rather cling to false hope and have it hurt later than to face the truth. Because then, I'd know she's really gone. Not only do I not believe that, but knowing that is worse than having false hope!

Despite her hopeful nature, Mao looked down at herself. It seemed like she was actually caught in the dark void she imagined. Her colorful personality was gone, replaced with this gray and black gloom. Almost like she was already submitting.

"Shut up!"

Groaning with irritance, Mao grabbed her pillow, rolling onto her side as she kept one ear blocked by the bed and the other blocked with the pillow.

"You shut up," she muttered. "No one needs to yell that loud."

The pillow and bed only slightly muffled the voices. She couldn't make out words, but the furious tones made her want to go downstairs and suffocate them with the very pillow she was now holding. Even so, she stayed on the bed, curled into a ball like a defenseless child.

Give it a break, she bitterly thought, but did not have the nerve to say it to their faces.

"GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE!!"

Mao groaned again. She shot up, throwing the pillow onto the floor. As usual, it was hopeless.

"Dammit..." Mao growled. "Damn it, damn it, damn it, DAMN IT!" 

She hit the bed with her fist, then broke down. She kept her eyes cast down as she started crying yet again. The space before her turned not black or gray like the void, but reddish. Her lip quivered, shadows hid her eyes, and her whole body trembled.

"...Why am I always so helpless? I lost my friends...I can't even break up a fight between my parents, who I shouldn't even be living with at this age. What...What the hell is wrong with me?! Why am I..."

Suddenly, Mao punched herself in the chest and screamed, "DAMN YOU!"

She did it again, this time also tearing a few hairs from her skull. It was not just others she was mad at, but the root of her problems. Herself. Her own beliefs and actions. Her own helplessness.

I told Kita to listen to the dreams; I sent her to her death. I was the one who abandoned Corelia and Yuna. I'm the one my mother and father yell at when I intervene. I'm...I'm the root of everything!

"Am I good at nothing but creating trouble?" Mao whimpered. Then it donned on her, what she had just thought to herself.

I...really am...

"Oh god, Kita. I really did this to you..."

Was this true? Another glance at her position, and it proved her entirely right. She had sent Kita to Corelia, where it continued to lead her if not to her demise, then to a hell of some sort, infested with evil demons. Kita was skeptic about this all, but Mao was the one being insistent, ushering her closer and closer to this very fate.

"I...I...I'm sorry, Kita..."

Mao sat up, her fist clenching. "Everyone, I'm so sorry."

Needing to lash out, Mao shot over to her desk, taking an old pair of scissors and aiming the point at her own throat. She was ready to punish who she saw as the cause of it all; the cause of this horrid incident.

"For Kita...For Yuna...For everything you ruin!"

Though she was trembling violently, she was about to do it...

However, something stopped her. Something was holding onto her balled fists, refusing to let her do anything.

Mao quickly broke her tearful gaze from this blank area beneath her. What she saw filled her with a different feeling, even though she didn't know if it was good or bad.

This was Yuna who stopped her, and she didn't look like the defeatist she had become. She didn't have the dead, forgetful gaze that recently plagued her. Just like Mao, her eyes glistened as they came close to leaking tears.

"I'm sorry, too."

 


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