A Night in Bethlem

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Mystery and Crime  |  House: Booksie Classic


A lonesome soul rants on a lonesome night. Are they paranoid, insane, or is someone really after them?

Submitted: November 14, 2017

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Submitted: November 14, 2017

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It’s so…silent. Sometimes. Don’t you think? Or maybe that’s just me, I know. Well actually, I DON’T know, because the truth is, we know nothing for certain. Just ask the Greeks. “No knowledge is absolute” right? It’s like the Münchausen theory. An endless, vicious circle filled with facts and theories which can always be disputed.

I miss Abyss sometimes. I really do. I miss the night sky too. I used to love doing that. Not ABYSS, you sick, twisted fools, just watching the sky; I thought that was nice, I thought it was beautiful, brilliant, but even this is an infinite truth, a maddening vast pool of unknown which humans will struggle to understand for centuries, until finally they give up. Just like I did.

DON’T JUDGE ME! HOW DARE YOU!? I see how this is. You think you know so much, you think life is easy, and that the people like me have nothing, that we’re “lost” you’d say, but we’re ALL lost: the horror is simply once you realize it.

I’m tired. Why are you even here? You think I can’t feel you all looking at me, you think I can’t see you, deep within this hell, within the pits of the abyss? Oh Abyss my love! How I miss you! What have they done! Taking me away from you! What is it? You think you’re a kind soul, but you’re merely there, glazing at me with your malevolent eyes, thankful that you’re not like me, that you have no access to sufficient truth, to this vast pool of knowledge which I used to constantly bathe in. Then I got tired of it all, I got sick of it, what can I tell you.

My head hurts, I’m in so much pain. “MEDUSA! ATHENA! BRING ME SOME OF THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH! Save me from this excruciating dilemma, the choice of life and death!” I sob, standing on my knees and arms resting against my sides. I wish father was here, and sister. And Abyss, I really wish Abyss was here too. Mother can die and go to Hell, none of it matters to me. Not that I believe in Hell of course, that’s illogical, irrational, thinking that there’d be a sinister excuse of a Wonderland down there, with a bunch of sadists like the Ripper guy and all the other killers having an orgy day and night. The opposite is true too. What, what do you expect? That you’ll get something out of life? My dears, it’s time you face the truth, as painful as it is: there’s nothing out there. Nothing but death and pain and killing, nothing but infinite questions which will never be answered. The world consists of only that, oh, and if it were just human beings, I’d be happy, I’d have hope, but it’s not my pets, oh no it’s not. It’s animals, it’s plants, it’s everything on this planet. We have similar fates, identical manuals. Animals kill, and so do we. Animals rape, and so do we. Animals are afraid and we are too. The only problem with us is that there are a rare few beings who know too much, and for those who do…oh my gosh it’s terrible, horrifying! I wish I was like all of them, I wish I could hide behind my insignificant life. Hide behind my hopes, hide behind religions, but I can’t anymore, because I’ve seen it, the pointlessness of life, and I understand. It’s a disgusting sight, but I know too much now, and I must pay, because I will never go back. Ever.

I’m cold and hungry, and I hear noises, I see noises…wait there’s a contradiction but—

I never told any of you, I forgot yes. How indelicate of my persona to do! WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T REMEMBER?! DO YOU NOT FOLLOW THE TEXT?! DON’T YOU LISTEN TO ME?! Is it so hard for you to read in between the lines!?

Oh I see how it is. You’re mocking me like an immature, smug child, and for all I know you might just be that. In fact, perhaps you don’t even exist, perhaps you’re just in my head, but think about this: right now, you too are hearing something, a voice, a person that doesn’t exist, and what does that tell you? Exactly, frightful thought isn’t it?

My cat’s name was Abyss before they brought me to Bethlem.


© Copyright 2018 Angela Goulene. All rights reserved.

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