The Toaster

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic


A guy is in a battle with his toaster...

Submitted: November 15, 2017

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Submitted: November 15, 2017

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“The Toaster”

 

It all started

with his toaster

he knew it was

playing him

he had gone

through three

others

in the last

two months,

he always used

the same bread

same temp settings

which he always

kept at halfway

between light

and dark

but still

no two pieces

of toast

ever came out

the same

maybe just a

faulty temp setting

he once thought,

but now

he felt like it

was personal

as if he had

done something

to anger the toasters

of the world,

when it came

time

for toaster number

four

he went prepared

to the appliance

store

when he walked in

to the top notch

store

he had a wad

of cash

and a bag filled

with three loafs

of different kinds

of bread

a tub of butter

and some blackberry

jam

that he had

picked up

at a farmer’s market,

as soon as the

sales clerk approached

him

he asked her

for the best

toaster they

sold

and when she

returned from the

backroom with it

all he said was

“Plug it in”

she didn’t think

that much about

it

he wasn’t the first

person to ask

her that when

they bought a

small appliance

but when he

started to clear

the table

she had set

the toaster on

and then began

to set the

contents of

the bag

on to the table

well that was

a first

she stood over

the table as he

started dropping

pieces of bread

into the toaster

and once they

popped out

golden brown

he buttered

them

before spreading

the thick rich

blackberry jam

across them,

she took a seat

at the table

once it was

obvious

he planned on

toasting

all three loafs

of bread

he tried different

settings

and combinations

of bread

even tilting the

toaster

and turning it

upside down

as it toasted

and when every

piece came out

as expected

he left the cash

the box

butter and jam

and three loafs

of toasted bread

all on the table

as he carried his

top of the line

toaster

out the front

door

the sales girl

just sat there

not saying a

single word

or leaving her

seat

not even counting

the money

he had left

her

she just reached

over

and grabbed the

blackberry jam

and put a big

glob of it

on to a piece of

perfectly toasted

sourdough bread

and ate it

as she watched

him

walk to his car

thinking to herself

good thing it

wasn’t a

washing machine

that would have

been hard

to hook up

as she adds

a little bit more

butter

to her last bite

of toast,

that night

he could hardly

sleep

he woke up

with the excitement

of a Christmas

morning

rushing down stairs

to the kitchen

sliding across the

slick floor

in his socks

and coming

to a stop

right in front

of his brand

new toaster

he washed

his hands

in the sink

making sure they

were completely

dry

as he sat his

best plate

made of bone

china

in front of the

toaster

opened up a

new tub of butter

and another jar

of blackberry jam

from the same

farmer’s market,

he could feel

the tension

in the room

as he reached

for the bread

a specialty brand

of sourdough

bread

just for this

occasion

still regulation

toaster size

he didn’t want

to push the

envelope to much

on opening day,

he calmly dropped

two pieces of

bread

into the awaiting

slots

and as he

pushed down

on the lever

lowering the bread

into toasting position

he could feel

the eyes of

all the other

appliances

watching him,

he then took

the lids off the

butter and jam

getting them ready

for the toast

he could see

the heat rising

from the slots

of the toaster

that were holding

the bread

that he was sure

would soon be

perfectly made toast

he stood there

knife in hand

bone china plate

in front of the

toaster

butter to the

right

and blackberry jam

to the left,

he closes his

eyes

as he waits

for the much

anticipated sound

of the lever release

he can tell by

the smell

that the toast

is almost ready

and while his

eyes are closed

a large drop of

water

starts to form

on the mouth

of the faucet

till the weight

of the large

drop

causes it to

breakaway

from the lip

of the faucet

and fall towards

the sink

striking a wine

glass

lying on its side

and as the faint

ding of that drop

reaches his ear

he opens his

eyes

to see two pieces

of toast

still stuck in

the toaster

he is momentarily

frozen in place

with anger

his mind snaps

over the disbelief

of his failed

attempt

at making simple

toast

he slams his

right fist down

on to the top

of the toaster

forgetting he was

still holding the

knife

and in that

split second

as 120 volts

traveled through

his body

he had just

one thought

going through

his mind,

if he had

but only

one wish

in this world

before he died

it would be that

inanimate objects

could feel

pain

and as he lay

on the floor

and his last few

breaths

were lining up

to leave his

body

he heard a

“Click”

and two

pieces of

perfectly toasted

sourdough bread

popped out of

the toaster

and landed on

his chest

allowing him

to die

with a smile…

 

Tom Allen…11-11-2017…

 

 

 

 

 


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