A Letter to You: Two Years Ago

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: November 16, 2017

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Submitted: November 16, 2017



Hey you,

It’s been a while. Actually only about two years, but boy did that time move fast. So many things have happened since for you, and I guess me too. But lately I’ve been thinking about us.

Six years ago we were holding hands in the parking lot. We were leaning against your car while talking to two others- one of which was clearly hitting on me even though you were right there. I was super uncomfortable and leaned into you for protection. You didn’t seem to realize he was hitting on me or get the hint that I was uncomfortable until I squeezed your hand and you saw just how uncomfortable I was.

Once you saw, we left. I remember how safe you made me feel. You were always quick to get hints and pick up on how I was feeling, and you always knew how to make me feel better. You made a joke about how dumb and slow you were to realize that the guy was hitting on me and we laughed it off. It was sweet. When I first met you, I never thought I would feel this safe around you. But I did.

Five years ago we were driving and laughing at night, blasting songs that we both loved while singing along horribly. You would always make me laugh by doing your cartoon character impressions. They were great. We would drive down dark country roads, and sometimes ones that were rather questionable. No matter how tired I was, I knew that I could always stay awake if I were with you. And I did.

Five years ago you would also call me at random times. To you they weren’t random, but to me they were always out of the blue. You would call to make me smile and laugh. You would call because you would hear our song on the radio or have it stuck in your head so you would call and sing it to me, hanging up quickly after. It always made me laugh when you would call me and sing, and I would always have a huge smile on my face once you hung up because I knew you were thinking of me. I’ve never liked talking on the phone, but whenever you called I did.

Four years ago you not only knew how to make me laugh, but you also knew how to make me smile. You always knew when to be sweet and romantic, when to be funny, and when to tease me. Even though I would often roll my eyes, a smile was always on my face. I secretly loved the teasing, although I’m sure to you it wasn’t a secret because you could always read me like an open book. You would always tease me for my accent and my hatred for drinking water. And once you found out I didn’t like drinking milk either- oh wow, you had a field day.

But I loved it. I loved all of it. I really did. You always knew when to stop before it got irritating and you always knew what got me riled up. You would also always challenge me because you knew just how competitive I was. All you had to say was ‘I bet you won’t…’, and I did it. You always laughed and would tell me how adorable I was and how amazed you were that I actually did it. I loved the way you always reacted and I loved impressing you.

And three years ago, you knew how to make me feel. You stared at me the way no one else ever had, and you loved me the way I never thought someone could love me. You made me feel like I was worth something. You made me feel as if I were the most beautiful person on Earth. You made me feel alive. Three years ago you took me stargazing and ended up staring at me the whole time because you thought I was more beautiful than the heavens above us. You made me feel special. You made me feel what love was. I never thought I could love someone that much, but I did.

And three years ago, you thought I wouldn’t say yes when you proposed half naked in a grocery store parking lot. But I did.

We got married that same summer. We didn’t care if we had a big wedding or a small one, we just wanted to be together so that’s what we did.

But three years ago, after we got married, things changed. You said I wouldn’t be silent and hold my tongue all those times you bullied- not teased- me. But I did. You said I wouldn’t be silent and hold my tongue when you cheated on me. But I did. You said I wouldn’t be silent and hold my tongue all those times you hit me. But I did. And you said I wouldn’t be silent and hold my tongue about the night you raped me. But I did.

Three years ago we got married, and three years ago everything changed. Two years ago we were still together. But two years ago I went and told you that I was depressed and wanted to kill myself. You told me I wouldn’t.


But I did.


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