Opened eyes

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic


My friendship experiences.

Submitted: November 17, 2017

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Submitted: November 17, 2017

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I’m an awkward non-social person. I am happy, kind, loving and confident woman. I don’t party, I hate crowds and I am a lone ranger. I don’t connect with people anymore because I have been betrayed by the people I love the most. As I write this letter, I am sad, crying and feeling hurt because I discovered the truth about two of my friend’s last night. I used to think that all my friends hated me because I did something wrong to them. I thought and thought and could not find the answers. I confronted them and still could not find anything. One of my friends I haven’t seen in a long time told me that she distanced herself because of jealousy she had over me. I was really hurt because I really loved her and we had a beautiful connection/friendship. I can’t trust any of my friends because most of them mistreated me over the years, and made me feel unwanted. Thing is I fell in love at the age of 18 with a guy, we had a baby 3 years later, we bought a house and moved in together when our baby was just 1year old. Later on that year he engaged me and paid lobola the following year. Then my friendship starting to fall apart. Then I decided to pay much attention to my new family. We had our second child and decided to put the wedding on hold so I can raise our second child, and try to get back in shape. I’ve met and hung out with my friends still time to time, but it was always me taking the initiative to meet. Sometimes they’d meet up and do movies and drinks without me, and when I ask id get the answers like: “it was arranged on a short notice”. So I realised that something was wrong, and when I asked I couldn’t get straight answers, and when I’m a round them id feel the sudden tension. So I decided to distance myself, stop calling them and see what happens, and nothing really happened and we stopped hanging out. As time passed I learnt that jealousy destroyed my friendship, my accomplishments got in the way, and some friends couldn’t handle it. I’m a good person, emotionally intelligent, a Christian who is full of love. I’m very spiritual and sees things. I decided to move on and focus all on my energy on my loving family. Most people tag me as a perfect human being, but really no one’s perfect we all know that. My friends can’t handle my presence, because I always have something good to say. That’s who I am and I can’t change who I am so I can make someone else comfortable. I am a strong woman, strong character, unshaken by what people say about my life. All my friends make comments like I live a boring life, just being a wife and playing mommy. For me that is the most rewarding life I can ever lead. Because I don’t hang out in pubs with Minnie skirts and guys around I’m too perfect for their liking. I just feel like, I don’t want to have friends anymore because no one will ever love me truly, I intimidate them and they see me as an enemy. Worst thing is that I’m more beautiful on the face than they are. I’m a 29 year old black woman who looks more like a mixed breed or an Indian. I have now been in a relationship with my husband for a period of 10 years. I’m being hated for who I am and what I have. I feel that I don’t deserve the kind of treated my friends have given me, no one does. I just want to send this message out to other women out there who are facing same challenges as me, being young, good, beautiful and kind isn’t a crime, and it sure isn’t your fault. God blessed you and accept the blessings and be free. Embrace who you are and know that people will hate on you, but do not dwell on their hate, and let it take you down. Be you and stay true to yourself.

With Love Precious Yols


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