Chapter 1: the pair of earings

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Reads: 413

Today I went to the supermarket, and I found a pair of beautiful earrings at my feet, only a few inches away from the entrance door.  If I had been looking straight ahead they would have been crushed and broken but as it was, my head was sunken, my eye’s diverted towards the floor, and this pair of earrings grabbed my attention; immediately.  I guess you want to know why a random pair of earrings would be so interesting; well I will tell you, if you will listen. When I was a little kid, maybe 9 years old, I had a pair very much alike to this, and I remember my best friend giving them to me, but then somehow, somewhere I lost them and all I could think about was this beautiful, lost pair of earrings. I never found them, and I never worked out how I lost them, it was all a strange puzzle to me.  So here I was, staring at this beautiful pair of earrings and momentarily thinking back to this early childhood time.

 

Taking a step away from this memory I come back to the present , to this supermarket and to the people wandering around my upset mind , and I see, I realise , they are giving me strange glares, looks of judgement , looks of confusion and muttered words of ‘’ she has been staring at that pair of earrings for over ten minutes, what’s wrong with her, she is a strange girl , what on earth is she doing , is something wrong with her’’ and I hear all of this and I start to feel slightly embarrassed , I feel my cheeks go red and I swear I am blushing, bringing even more embarrassment to myself .  Any strange looking behaviour and suddenly you get stares, you get glares and judgement. Stupid me, right, I should have thought about what I was doing, but I wasn’t thinking, that was half of the problem, and to be honest I wasn’t overly surprised at their reaction. It was a supermarket store, it wasn’t the norm to just stand and stare. Then again, I’ve never been what you would call normal or ‘’ the same ‘’ as everyone else, I guess I felt I was different, some sort of alien from another planet, a black sheep in a field full of white, yes, I was different or at least I was made to feel that way.  Today’s behaviour, and today’s reactions only reminded me of those times when I was made to feel different or as I should say, as if there was something wrong with me.  I mean, it wasn’t as if I was doing anything wrong, or that I was causing any chaos, and I certainly wasn’t hurting anyone.

 

It could have been worse, I could have walked in naked, gosh the reactions then! I’m sure everyone else would have turned red! Maybe I would have been deemed insane or out of my mind. I guess people would have been kind and put a jacket over me, given me a blanket to hide all that was bare. I can think of many scenarios where the reactions would have been even more shocking then now! I will tell you that whilst receiving these stares, all these scenarios were going through my mind, and hence why I started to giggle. The first one was me walking in naked, a minimal flat chest, and a strange shaped body, anyone might have thought of me as a child. I could see the rotten glares and people shouting at me to cover myself up, telling me that this is not the place for such naked displays of human bodies.  Second scenario; I walk in, skipping like a little school girl, skipping all the way throughout the supermarket, around everyone, skipping and skipping, everyone is getting mad and annoyed with me, everyone around me is alarmed at my strange unsettling behaviour, and confusion occurs all around. Third scenario, I’m strutting throughout the supermarket with an arrogant and cocky stride, holding myself like I am bigger and better than everyone else, pushing everyone who gets in my way. You see, I could go on, and tell you what other scenarios went through my head, but you see my point, I didn’t hurt or make anyone upset.

 

 

 

 I was the one that was upset here and there was a reason my head was sunken and my eye’s diverted towards the floor. Certainly, I wouldn’t normally walk in to a supermarket like this and I was normally the happy type, the one who would walk in; head upright, eye’s looking straight ahead, walking in a confident and positive stance.  As it were, I had an awful morning, my new neighbours were shouting at the top of their lungs, banging around the house like some sort of heavy footed elephants, not that they were elephants, I mean of course they weren’t, it’s just one of those expressions I like to use to describe people who stomp around the house in anger.  I couldn’t deal with loud noises nor could I deal with so called angry neighbours, and these sounded like awful people who had no consideration for anyone else.  This wasn’t the only reason for my sunken and depressed, downhearted mood, you see I was recently dumped too, by my boyfriend who I had been with for over ten years, I was in shock and sinking in my own despair. It seemed to come from nowhere, we had been together for years, getting on well, then suddenly, he didn’t want to know. He gave me no explanation for his abandonment, he never explained why, he just said he was leaving, he left me alone, confused. To be honest with you, his behaviour came out of the blue, and I was left feeling utterly heartbroken, my heart felt like it was aching, and I couldn’t stop the tears; blubbering like a baby I realised I needed to be comforted and soothed, so I made the impulsive decision to buy a cake, I needed a cake; this was my comfort in times of sadness and despair.

 

As you can see, this is what led me to the supermarket and therefore I could not hold myself upright. The pair of earrings, which I remember losing as a child only served to bring me to a standstill.  I’d lost my boyfriend and I was now standing, staring at a pair of earrings, heartbroken, thinking of the time when I had lost a much-loved piece of jewellery. They were two completely different things, of course they were, a piece of jewellery and a boyfriend, yet my attention simply wavered and in this old childhood memory.  I was standing there in despair and all everyone around me was doing was giving me odd looks, no one came up to me to ask me how I was feeling, if I needed anything, if I was ok or even if I needed an ear to talk to, I was just left standing with people giving me odd stares and then walking away as if they didn’t care.  True, they were all strangers, but I wish someone had offered a bit of kindness, instead of glaring at me as if I was weird. I was in so much despair, I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest; someone was yanking at it and I truly felt the pain of being heartbroken.  My hand was now over my heart and tears were flowing out of my eye’s, I had now started to cry whilst standing in a supermarket full of complete and utter strangers, and still no one offered me any kindness; not even a smile. I would have walked out of the supermarket were it not for my desperate need for a piece of cake, so first I decided to pick up the pair of beautiful earrings and then I walked on, only for a few seconds, to the bakery section. 


Submitted: November 17, 2017

© Copyright 2020 Ellie32. All rights reserved.

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