Three Questions.

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Sometimes some of us enter into contests only to show our wives and ourselves up. Some of these contestants are like that.

Submitted: November 18, 2017

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Submitted: November 18, 2017



FredThe presenter came on and said: ''Welcome you lovely ladies and gentlemen. Every week we have a 3 questions show. Anyone of you here in the audience has the chance of winning one thousand English pounds, yes, I say one thousand pounds. That is a lot of money. All you have to do is answer 3 questions correctly and walk away with, yes, one thousand pounds in your pocket.''

Finished speaking, there was clapping from the audience, also booing and whistling and stamping, and beer bottles making noises on the tables. The presenter said: '' Let's have our first contestant please.'' This tall man came onto the stage from where he sat with his wife and friends.

The presenter said: ''And your name sir!''
Holding Harold across the shoulder the presenter said: '' Welcome Harold, where are you from?''
Harold said, ''Bridge Road!''
''Okay!'' The presenter said, ''Give a clap for Harold.'' The audience clapped.
''Have you ever been in a contest before, Harold? Where you can make so much money by only answering three questions?''Harold said ''No, '' and smiled.

The presenter said: ''Don't worry, you have all the audience behind you tonight!''
Someone called out from the right side, ''And his wife!'' A smile came on the presenter's face. ''Now are you ready, harold for your first question?''
Harold said: ''Yes.''
"Take your time, don't hurry. Your first question: give us the first name of King Alfred the Great of the Saxons.''
Harold bowed his head, ''Albert!''
The presenter said, ''Sorry, it was Alfred!''
A voice came out from the crowd on the right. ''I'll give you Albert when we get home.''

Harold left the stage.
The next contestant was called forward. ''Next contestant please!''
A big man came up with a beer belly.
''Welcome, and your name?''
''Right Gerard, you know what you have to answer to get the money. Three right questions and you go away a rich man. Ready Gerard?''
Gerard said, ''Yes,'' waiting for the question
''Right, here goes. You've heard of Adolf Hitler? What was the name of his wife?''
The whole hall was still. Gerard started thinking. ''I think it was Evelyn Bronwell.''
''Again, sorry,'' said the presenter. ''I'm afraid your answer is wrong. Her name was Eva Braun.''
Gerard, angry with himself answered, ''Yes, what a fool I was.''
Gerard left the stage.

Someone shouted as Gerard came off the stage, ''Go back to school, you dumb head!''
The presenter asked for the next contestant.
Another heavy built man went up on the stage to face the presenter.
''And your name sir, '' the presenter asked.
''Fred,'' the man said.
"Tell the audience a bit about yourself.''
''I'm an engineer and work for the Bridge Works Ltd. I'm married and have three kids.''
''Okay! Fred, you know what the show is all about. Here's your first question. I need you to tell me the name of the footballer who scored the winning goal for  England in the 1966 World cup final.''

''Geoff,'' he started saying, then, ''Geoff Hurst!''
''Well done!'' said the presenter. ''Ready for your second question?''
The presenter said: ''I want the date of Independence Day of the United States of America. The day, the month and the year.''
''Oh my! '' Starts thinking. ''It was the 4th day of the month of July in the year 1776.'' The hall was in an uproar, clapping and whistling. Then everything was quiet again.. The presenter came closer to him. ''One more question Fred and you go away with one thousand pounds.. Is your wife here with you?''

Fred said ,''Yes, my wife and her mum is down there.'' He pointed to the middle of the hall. his wife's hand shot up above her head.

''Nice lady,'' the presenter said. ''You ready, Fred? Take your time, no one's rushing you.''
''Yes, let's have it.'' Fred answered.
''Okay! Please be quiet in the audience. Fred, the question for you is : when did the first World War started?''
Fred looked up to ceiling, then down to the floor, thinking very hard. He must not get the two dates mixed up. He knew the second World War started on the 1st September 1939, but the question is about the first World War. He looked at the presenter, took a deep breath and said, ''28th August 1914.''
''So sorry Fred,'' the presenter said, ''you're a month too far. It's the 28th July 1914.''

Fred said, ''Damn,'' and left the stage without the money. A blonde woman, very nice looking went up to the preseter when he asked for the next contestant.
''Your name, lovely lady!''
''Constatia,'' She told him.
''What a lovely name. Married?''
''On and off.'' There were a few laughs in the hall.
''Are you nervous?''
''A little,'' she managed to say.
"'Well, relax youself, think carefully about your answer. Ready?''
The presenter said I want to know the name of the young prince who captured king John  of France at the battle of Poitiers.''
She looked at the presenter, then looked down the hall and back. ''Edward the 3rd, '' she said.
''Not the right answer, I'm afraid, but never mind. You know you cannot win the money now?

The next contestant was a chubby woman. She got to where the presenter was, ''You are?''
''Welcome to the show, Emily. Have you brought anyone with you?''
''Yes, I have.'' Emily answered the presenter. ''My husband.'' The husband stood up, and sat down again.
''You're going to be asked three questions, Emily, and if you get them all right, you go away with one thousand pounds. Your first question is: give us the name of the son born to Caesar and Cleopatra.
Emily knew the answer. She had heard it may times, but now in front of the presenter and all the audience, she forgot the name. The presenter said: ''You have all the time in the world. The son born to Caesar and Cleopatra.''
Emily said, ''I know it! It's not Octavius, it's not Mark Anthony. I think it's Caesarion!''
''Absolutely right,'' the presenter said. The audience was pleased; and cheered; and whistled. Then it was quiet again.
''Your second question Emily, is: what was the largest airborne battle in history?''

Emily looked shocked when she heard the question. The hall was still. You can see on some of the faces that they knew the answer, others were not so sure.
Emily was mumbling something to herself, then she said, ''It is Operation Market Garden.''
''That is correct,'' the presenter told her. ''Now Emily, for your final question for the one thousand pounds. Relax youself. You've heard of the attack on Pearl Harbour. Give us the day, the month and the year.''
Emily started thinking. She'd heard it mentioned many times at her work and also at the pub. She quickly said, ''7th August 1941.''
''You nearly had it there,'' the presenter told her. ''It was the 7th December 1941.''
Emily was a bit angry with herself, but then gave a quick smile. She had lots the chance of taking the one thousand pounds home with her. The audience clapped for some time when she came off the stage.

The presenter then said, '' Our last contestant is Edna, a young 18 year old.'' Edna stood up from where she was sitting and came up to the presenter.
''Welcome! Are you alone?''
''No. I have my parents with me.'' She pointed out where they were.
''Now Edna, I'm going to ask you three questions. If you get them all right, you become a rich girl of one thousand pounds.'' Edna smiled, looked over to where her parents sat, then back to the presenter. ''Ready, Edna?''
''There are four powers in the universe, can you tell what they are?''
Edna took a few minutes thinking, 'then she told the presenter, ''I think strong and weak nuclear force, Gravity I think is one of them and  Electromagnetic.''
''Yes, my girl, your absolute bang on.'' He turn to the audience to give a clap for Edna.
The audience clapped and then it was silent again.
The presenter said: ''You're on your way to that one thousand pounds. Now your next question: How many children did Abraham have?''

Edna was pleased with this question. She knew the answer. It was somewhere inside her head. She just had to dig it out. She was thinking, frowning her face. She wasn't sure if she'll come up with the right answer. She said, ''I think it's 8,''
The presenter said, ''Absolutely correct. Now Edna, one last question. If you get it right, you''re tonight's winner of one thousand pounds.''
Edna braced herself for the last question.
''Do you know much about American history?'' The presenter asked her.
''Just a little,'' she answered.
''Right, here's your question. I want you Edna, to tell me who was the 37th president of the United States.''
Edna raised her head to the ceiling, then brought it back down. She knew qite a lot of the prsidents, but it was hard to set them in order. ''I think... I... believe...  it was... Richard... Richard Nixon.''
''Yes, my girl. You are absolutely right.'' The presenter held her around the shoulder and facing the aufdience, he said, ''We have tonight's winner of one thousand pounds. Give a  clap for Edna. The audience did. Edna had a big smile on her face.

The End.

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