Sheldon the Shoe- Brekker- Inner

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic


daft Yorkshire humour

Submitted: November 18, 2017

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Submitted: November 18, 2017

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Sheldon the Shoe-Brekker-Inner

 

Sheldon was a shoe-brekker-inner

The only job he’d ever had

He charged a quid a mile, for brekkin’ in shoes

A trade that he’d learnt from his dad

 

He’d do brogues, or loafers, or wellies

In sizes from eight to eleven

And when times were hard, and work was tight

He’d even consider a seven

 

There’s a Native American saying

That’s come back into everyday use

It says that…………. You shouldn’t judge a man.

Until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes

 

Money was tight for poor Sheldon

Cos, even in this day and age

The job of shoe-brekkin’-inin’

Isn’t covered by t’minimum wage

 

 It was just a chance conversation

As he spoke to Hesketh one night

And he said to Sheldon, he’d bought a flat-cap

But was finding it just bit tight

 

Sheldon said “I do some flat-cap-wearin’-inin’”

Taking on two jobs at once

He said “I’ll charge you ten bob an hour”

“To walk round with your cap on mi bonce”

 

Another string to his bow

Sheldon got his second job

And he’d upped his earning potential

Cos now we was on thirty bob

 

Aubrey Sugarman was conspicuous by his absence

He hadn’t been seen about town

So Sheldon popped round to see him

To see what was getting him down

 

Aubrey said “I’ve just bought this new jumper”

“But I can’t wear it yet……. it’s too new”

“And it’s too cold to go out wi’out it”

“So I’m stuck in, wi’ nowt else t’ do”

 

“I do some jumper-newness-knockin’-offin’”

Said Sheldon, as he worked out the fee

“I’ll do it for ten bob an ‘our”

“And I’ll scuff up yur elbows for free”

 

Soon word got out about Sheldon

And his skills as a brekker-inner

So you may wonder why, when he’s earning such brass

Has Sheldon got so much thinner?

 

Mrs Bloomsbury has bought a new corset

More of a whalebone basque

You’ve got to hand it to Sheldon

The lad knows how to multitask

 


© Copyright 2019 K J Walker. All rights reserved.

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