Reach my Eyes

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

This story is basically just an excerpt taken from one day of one individual's life and follows the inner feelings of this person up until a major life decision. Nothing much is supposed to happen.
Instead, I am trying to describe the character's feelings through the story telling and description of their day. It's an Experiment and pretty quickly written, but I hope you will still find
Enjoyment in it

The sun shone through the little holes between the curtains and I blinked blinded by the light that got attached to my face. I sighed and rolled around, looked at my phone, before I sighed again.
8:00 am, two hours before my alarm should have woken me up. Two hours too early again. The blanket that I had neatly pulled over my chest and up to my chin the evening before now hung on my right foot and formed a giant pile of cloth on the ground. My arm felt numb and I massaged my forehead to get rid of my headache.
I stared at the ceiling, spots of sunlight colouring the white walls of my room yellow. A car passed by, my neighbour was groaning through the stone constructions as always, complaining to the silence. I could hear kids laughing from outside.
I blinked again, slowly this time.
Should I get up?
I looked at my phone one more time. My eyes hurt a little.
Would my blood circulation collapse if I sat up now? I wasn‘t sure. I felt like crap-
I sat up and nothing happened.
A strand of hair fell onto my face. It reminded me I would have to make another appointment at the Barber‘s.
My eyes wandered around the small apartment infront of me, the work desk made of dark wood. My laptop placed on top of it, the Tiffany Lamp next to it.
The door to the kitchen was closed, used plates on the little table against the wall next to it. I would have to clean those up eventually, but right now I just wasn‘t in the mood… just like the week before and the week before.
I ran my fingers through my short hair. I had coloured it purple a little while ago. A little while… Had it really already been one and a half months?
I closed my eyes, pressed my hands against them. I felt like I hadn‘t slept a day, or more. No, I felt like I hadn‘t slept for weeks..
My eyes teared up, watering. Just watering because I was tired. Just tired…
I got up and pulled my bathrobe tightly around me, walked over to the kitchen. I opened the fridge ignoring all the filth on the ground, got out an Energy Drink as well as some apple purree. Some chocolate, a bowl.
The Magnesium pills and the Ritalin fell into my hand. Looking at it I felt sick. But I moved them to my mouth, cracked open the can gulping all of them down. Without the Ritalin I liked myself better, I was more creative. But creativity wasn‘t needed for my lectures today.


When I opened the door to the bathroom humid warmth welled towards me leaving me trembling a little as my body adjusted to the wamer climate. I stepped inside and leaned on the sink looking in the mirror.
A young adult was looking back at me. Violet bags under their eyes. Somewhat of a baby face, violet hair sticking into every direction, a crooked tanktop revealing a someone decent chest.
-80 cm- I thought, pulling the tanktop and straightening it before pulling the bathrobe even tighter.
80 cm too large.
I leaned my head against the mirror. Because I felt dizzy. Just because I felt a little dizzy.
The shower head was dripping. It was a somewhat calming sound and it started to fill my head.
What day was it again? Oh yes, Wednesday!
I pushed myself up from the sink and got undressed before entering the shower. I turned the knobs, the water came on.
Too hot!!!
I stumbled back and the shower head fell on my foot.
The Shampoo bottle had fallen on my head. I kneed down to pick it up. It was slippery, plus it reminded me that I would have to go out by new one soon. My eyes teared up again.
Because of the pain in my foot…
The water was spraying on my chin. I laughed.


The lecture hall was already pretty lively when I came in. I looked around and saw a hand go up.
I smiled. My hand went up.
„Did you contemplate not coming again or what?“
The girl who now was moving her stuff to the side grinned at me.
„No never!“
I sat down next to her, put my bag next to my seat. The head of yet another girl popped up from behind the one who had spoken first.
„As if! And here I am so jealous you live so close, give me your room.“
I laughed. It probably didn‘t reach my eyes.
The books nearly slipped through my fingers, but my quick reflexes saved them from vanishing inside my bag once again.
The girls next to me were talking with another, joking around. I tucked on my shirt pulling the binder into place. Had I been wearing it too much lately?
„Hello, and good morning class!“
The voice of our professor soared through the hall becoming stuck somewhere around 8th row. At least that‘s what it seemed like judging from the noise the last few rows were still making.
„Arbeitsrecht“ popped up on the big screen in the front.
I put my head on my crossed arms. I would have liked to put earbuds in my ears, but that would‘ve been rude. I didn‘t like to be rude.
-Take me away…- I thought to myself.
Maybe I could fall asleep and never wake up again.
My eyes snapped open and shook my head.
I could faintly hear the my neighbour teasingly asking if I had fallen asleep for a second there. I hadn‘t. But I had been pretty close to highfiving my face with my fist there.
My hands felt cool placing them on my temples. Thoughts like these. They scared me.
The smokescreen when looking into my future scared me. Why did I start to study law again? Where did I want to go again?
Where was the girlfriend I had myself seen with in the future?
I could feel my heartbeat starting to race, my breath became short. As if I had just went out for a sprint. Which was what I wanted to do at exactly this moment actually. Best a sprint right out of this damn tight room.
Did I pack my plastic bag this morning? My hands clenched to fists underneath my desk.
Why did I need such a stupid bag anyway?? Everything was just stupid, I was stupid! Always just doing what I thought everyone was expecting from me. Never deciding anything for myself.
I placed my head on the cool wooden plate before me.
I closed my eyes.

The smell of the sea, the taste of salt on my lips, the sounds of waves. I could see the beach infront of me, the sparkling water in the sun. This.. this was where I belonged. I felt relaxed and looked down at the sand beneath my toes. My grey bathers, my flat chest…

My eyes snapped open again. That again…
„So with that, till next time!“
Clapping, rustling all around me. A hand grabbing my shoulder.
„Did you not sleep well last night Silvie?“
I looked up at them, an uncomfortable laugh.
„Well, uh, no! I think I better go home..“
Right.. that was my name!
I got up, grabbed my bag and coat and waved a ‚see you next time‘.


‚I could make your hands clap~!‘
I stepped onto the street as the lights turned green. My arm was still numb.
I must have slept in a bad position again.
The backpack was pushed into my back and made me trip foreward as one earbud fell out of my ear.
‚Turn it up~!‘
I turned around in confusion as to who and why that who had sent me stumbling the last few steps to the other side.
The little boy ran past me.
„Sorry Sir!“

As I watched the kid disappear between the rows of apartment buildings, something broke free inside of me. Time that had been standing still started to move foreward again with a snap of the clockhands.
The smile lighting up my face reached my eyes this time.


Submitted: November 23, 2017

© Copyright 2021 Milchreis. All rights reserved.

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