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Tired of Hurting

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic


A woman staying home from work that is hurting...

Submitted: December 02, 2017

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Submitted: December 02, 2017

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“Tired of Hurting”

 

 

She was so

tired of hurting

she doesn’t sleep

rarely eats

and is stuck

in a continual

loop

of just surviving

the day,

she called in sick

again

just so she

can lay in

bed

with a cat

she doesn’t even

like

but at least

it listens to

her

she curls up

on her side

pulls the large

comforter

over her head

wishing sleep

would just take

hold

of her thoughts

and let her

painlessly escape

the early part

of the day

giving her

that much less

time

to have to

find ways to

waste away

before she can

just go to bed

again

not that she’ll

sleep

but the dark

helps to hide

the reasons for

the pain,

the reasons

three weeks

it seems like

a life time ago

has it been

three weeks?

She throws the

comforter off

sleep isn’t coming

to her rescue

this morning

she’ll have to

stand before

the morning sun

and confess

what she has

buried deep inside

her heart,

she pours a cup

of yesterday’s

coffee

or was it from

the day before

the heating plate

on the coffee maker

has done its

job

the coffee is

hot

but at the

cost

of any sort of

taste

other than a

strong bitterness

which she has

grown accustom too,

her cat is

watching her from

the other room

as he stretches out

across her bed

wondering if she

was going to

come back to

bed

for the third

time

this morning,

she tries to

draw strength

from the warmth

and caffeine

in the coffee

her stomach

just feels sick

she can’t remember

the last time

she ate

even then

it couldn’t have

been

more than a

handful

of whatever it

was

she tried to

push down

she smiles silently

at the thought

of the weight

she has lost

over this last

three weeks

it’s only been

three weeks now

right?

She sits down

on a love seat

pulls a handmade

shawl

around her

not so much

for warmth

more for a

feeling of

security,

everything had

changed

so quickly for

her

she just didn’t

understand why,

she gets up

from her chair

drains the rest

of the coffee

from the carafe

into her cup

thinks about

making a new

pot

but just flips

off

the machine

instead

her cat

still tracking her

from the other

room

gives her a

grin

as he watches

her

change her mind

right before

sitting down

and go back to

the kitchen

and put on

a fresh pot

of coffee

if it’s not

coffee

she thinks

its going to be

screwdrivers

and she has

gone down that

road

way too many

times already

over the last

three weeks

or has it been

four weeks,

she opens the

refrigerator

searching for a

splash of milk

trying to soften

the bite

of the coffee

but as she

looks in

the only thing

looking back

are a bunch of

rarely used

condiments

she makes her

way

back to her

chair

milkless

and with the

shawl still wrapped

around her

shoulders

she sits with

her knees pulled

up

to her chest

cup of coffee

balanced on top

of them

as she mindlessly

gazes into her

backyard

till her eyes

catch a squirrel

climbing up a

fence post

and then jumping

towards a hanging

birdfeeder

it barely misses

then it climbs up

the fence post

again

this time it

inches to the

very edge

of the fence

post

she holds her

breath

as the squirrel

crouches down

and then jumps

towards the

birdfeeder

as it flies

through the

air

she can feel

herself stretching

as the squirrel

stretches out

it’s little claws

only able to

brush against

the slippery plastic

tray

holding the seeds

but unable to

hang on

it does knock

down one

black oil

sunflower seed

to the ground

a small reward

for all its efforts

she puts her

coffee

on the window

ledge

and then opens

her sliding glass

door

and starts to

walk outside

wearing only

her

oversized tee-shirt

she sleeps in,

her bare feet

leave the warm

wood paneled

flooring

and carefully

step on to the

patio

she gets a

slight shock

as her bare

feet

step on to the

dew covered

grass

she can see

the little squirrel

watching her

from a top

the fence post

preparing for it’s

next big jump

as she puts

both her hands

on the iron

arm

holding the

birdfeeder

she looks the

squirrel

right in the

eyes

as she bends

the iron arm

three inches

farther away

from the fence

post

she walks over

to the sliding

glass door

her wet bare

feet

leaving foot

prints

across the cement

patio

and watches the

squirrel

it tilts its head

looks at her

then at the

birdfeeder

then back at

her

before inching up

to the very

edge

of the fence

post

it crouches down

getting ready to

jump

then stops

and backs up

into the far

corner of the

fence post

and takes a

running start

towards the

edge

and makes a

perfectly timed

jump

right off the

edge

of the fence

post

again

completely stretching

out

as it flies

through the air

but again

missing the target

this time

by more than

two inches

she looks down

at the squirrel

and in a

nonchalant

voice says

“Get use to”

“Disappointments”

“In life”

and with that

walks back inside

closes the sliding

glass door

retakes her seat

wraps the shawl

tightly

back around her

shoulders

and picks up

her cup of

coffee

as she watches

the little squirrel

make the same

jump

two more times

before giving up

and walking away

both hungry

and with a real

low self-esteem,

she thinks to

herself

that’s the most

fun

I’ve had

in the last three

weeks

or has it been

four,

as she reaches

down

and softly wipes

the blades of

wet grass

off the soles

of her bare

feet…

 

Tom Allen…11-26-2017…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


© Copyright 2018 Tom Allen714. All rights reserved.

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