Unfaithful

Reads: 428  | Likes: 1  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 1

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


Unfaithful

Submitted: December 06, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: December 06, 2017

A A A

A A A


How? How can something so wrong feel so thrilling? The conniving deed that gives you an array of adrenaline like a kid stealing a cookie from the cookie after their mother told them no. The mental images that linger in my mind have me going insane. The way he softly touches my body with his majestic fingers, the way his warm body presses lightly against mine, the way his peachy soft lips are in conjunction with mine as if he knows my every move. It's the way he lightly brushes my untamed tangled hair as I lay my sleepy head on his chest. I wouldn't necessarily say that what I'm feeling is called love- it's more of pure lust. A lust that I have been yearning for years, a fire that burns and doesn't seem to fade at every moment not physically with him.

Just as I think about those nights where it was too hot and heavy to rationalize, my best friend sits across from me gracefully watching my every move as if he has never seen someone so angelic. My protector from evil, my nurse, my rock, the one whom my soul loves. My successes revolve around him. He is my day one, the person that made me emotionally stronger, the person that has seen my every side and still vows to want to spend the rest of their life with me and embrace my multiple personas. The person that I have seen cry multiple times- most of them because of my idiotic selfish decisions. The person that I shared the most sorrows and tears with especially when the only thing in our dusty pantry was ramen noodles and the only beverage we could afford was water. 

My heart feels incredibly heavy knowing I'm sitting across from him, not in love. Especially when he is utterly blinded by this disguised devil called to love like a bat blinded by sunlight. While he foresees this future with a marriage, children, and longevity; I am seeking attention in places that I shouldn't be lurking, I am snooping in areas that I shouldn't be buried into, and I am grasping for physical acceptance from people that I don't even call friends, much less acquaintances.

Why? Why is it that while I am on a firm sturdy road, I want to linger on to a road with no stability,  pure sexual desire, and no security what so ever? Is it because of the acceptance I never received from my father, or is it because of the mistreatment from childhood, or could it be the bullying from other people not being pretty enough, smart enough, or good enough?

Those questions haunt me to this day, and if those questions are the justification for my petty actions than the only thing I can be is like Rihanna regretfully says- unfaithful.


© Copyright 2019 heyyitsme. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

Comments