Magnanimity of Heart

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Aditaya, who has philosophically inclined mindset, belongs to a lower middle class family and works as a judge in the lower judiciary. He marries Sanjana who comes from a rich business family. She
also works in a corporate office in New Delhi. They are also blessed with a lovely daughter. After a period of six years, there comes an emotional quake that rocks badly their relationship, when
she reveals that she has been having an extra-marital affair with a colleague. Emotional turbulence becomes all the more severe when she tells that she is pregnant by him and will like to continue
pregnancy to full term. The story runs like .........

Submitted: December 09, 2017

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Submitted: December 09, 2017

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Aditaya has been pursuing an academic degree in Masters of law in a university in New Delhi. He belongs to a lower middle class family, comprising of mother, father and a younger sister. His father, who had been a Central Government employee, has recently retired. He decided to settle down in New Delhi after retirement since he had purchased an apartment during his last posting in New Delhi before retirement.

Though Aditaya is pursuing the study of law, he has keen interest in Indian and Greek philosophy. Whenever he comes across a good book on philosophy, he doesn’t leave it unless he finishes it. He has conviction that philosophy has always deeply influenced human society since time immemorial. No one can remain untouched by it. A person readily seeks solace in its precepts whenever one is face to face with unwelcome circumstances. So, over the years, this conviction about philosophy has deeply influenced his psyche.

A couple of months ago, he was introduced to Sanjana, who has been pursuing post graduation in economics in the same university. They have now become good friends, though she comes from a rich business family. She has been particularly impressed with his mature views on life. Despite being an extrovert, she has struck good friendship with Aditaya, who normally takes time to open up with others though he not an introvert in its true sense.

Gradually, their friendship has blossomed into love. One day he broached the subject with his parents. They were skeptical that their relationship might not work on account of wide difference in economic status of their families. But Aditaya was finally able to convince them about its success since they also had no doubt about his competence of handling any messy situation in their relationship.

After finishing his Masters of law, he decides to join Indian Judicial Services. By the grace of the Almighty, his wish is fulfilled as he qualifies to become a judge in lower judiciary (Munsif courts) in New Delhi. Meanwhile, Sanjana has been pursuing MBA finance. They decide to get married after she finishes it.

Sanjana also gets a job of assistant manager in a corporate office in New Delhi. As they are well settled in their respective jobs, they decide to get married.

Six years later:

Aditaya and Sanjana had been blessed with a daughter who is now six years old and studies in 1st standard in a renowned school. For couple of years, they both were quite happy with each other, their daughter – Sumedha being the cynosure of their life. As she grew up and began going to school, their relationship started showing signs of boredom. Aditaya made best of efforts to overcome the tedium that has seeped into their married life.

One day, all of a sudden, Sanjana revealed one evening after coming from office: “Aditaya, I have fallen in love with a colleague in my office. This had happened so unexpectedly one and a half years back and our intimacy has increased over time.”

This sudden revelation was quite a surprise for him, which overwhelmed him draining all his energy. But somehow or other he was able to maintain his composure, avoiding to create an unpleasant scene. He had heard it through the grapevine but never believed it since he doesn’t believe in hearsay.

He thought it to be reason for the tedium that had crept into their sex life. He couldn’t sleep the whole night and kept cogitating where he had failed in his responsibilities. But he couldn’t find an answer.

Next morning, like an automaton, he went to washroom, brushed his teeth and splashed the face with water to freshen up.

As he came out, he heard the voice of Sanjana coming from the kitchen: “Aditaya, please stay in bed as I am bringing tea; we will have it together.” He again climbed into the bed and waited for her.

She brought freshly prepared tea for both. They began having it with uncomfortable silence. Finally, Sanjajna broke it by saying, “I know I have hurt you badly as you kept tossing in bed throughout night. I couldn’t help because I don’t know how this all happened.”

He replied incoherently as he couldn’t find words to say something, “I had heard it about your affair with a colleague but couldn’t believe as I had absolute trust in you. I was sure that you wouldn’t do a thing that would cast aspersion on our family.”  

When she revealed to Aditaya that she has become pregnant by him, it seemed that he had been hit hard on head with something. He also spilled over the tea he had been drinking. With great effort he could manage to regain his composure but still was unable to utter something.

After a long uncomfortable silence, he could say painfully, “What do you plan to do further? I mean if you want us to divorce or something else.”

To this she replies, “Aditaya, there is a problem as he is also married. Actually I don’t want us to divorce but want to live with your and our daughter.”

He suggests, “Then you can think of terminating this pregnancy.”

She replies, “I don’t want to terminate the pregnancy but, in fact, wish to continue it.”

Aditaya finds himself in a conundrum unable to decide what to do. So he tells her that they will talk about it later as they both have to go to their office.

His mind was fully preoccupied with the situation and its solution throughout the day but, even after mulling over all the possible courses of action, he couldn’t decide anything. At last, he decides to give some time to it with a hope that they will come to a conclusion acceptable to both.

When he reaches home he finds Sanjana at home, who had not gone to the office. They don’t talk, avoiding each other. A last, she speaks to tell, “I hadn’t gone to the office as I have decided to quit the job. I will send in the resignation tomorrow. I have also decided to break up my relationship with my colleague but I don’t want to abort the pregnancy.”

Aditaya doubts her intentions and retorts, “How do I believe that you would really break up relations with him? You have betrayed my trust in you so I have every reason to doubt your intentions.”

She replies remorsefully, “Yes, I have betrayed you awfully. You have every right to doubt my intentions but I beg of you to give me some time to prove that I sincerely carry out my commitment.”

Aditaya believes firmly that the bitterness plaguing a relationship can be overcome if both partners make sincere efforts. He quietly considers to give her some time and breaks the silence by saying, “Ok, I will give you time but remember that it is quite difficult to restore the trust that has been lost.”

Sanjana thanks him for being patient so that she can regain his trust. Next day, she writes a resignation and sends it to the office.  

As time passes on, they keep calculated aloofness in their relations lest they might emotionally hurt their daughter. They hope the rift that has been created doesn’t widen so much that it can’t be bridged over.

Sanjana has stopped any communication with her ex-colleague, who has been gentlemanly enough not to pester her at all. Aditaya hasn’t heard anything new about them. He is sure she has not been cheating on him. With the passage of time, he gets convinced that she has been keeping to her commitment as promised. By now she has been able to restore some of the trust in him. Her pregnancy has also advanced further progressing normally. By now he fully approves of her pregnancy and begins to take care of her to let it progress normally to term. They also inform Sumedha that she is going to have a brother or sister, who will play with her. Her happiness knows no bounds on knowing this. 

One day, when both are alone together in a relaxed mood, Sanjana asks Aditaya, “Will you tell me why you have accepted me into your life again, when I have committed a gravest mistake of cheating on you and getting pregnant by a colleague of mine?”

The question doesn’t come as a surprise to him as he was sure that she would one day ask the same. He ponders over for some minutes and breaks the silence, heaving a sigh, “Sanjana, the fact is that I have always loved you very much. If one loves truly someone, one accepts the other in totality with all imperfections. Undeniably, you have erred so brazenly that I could have flown off the handle or become violent when you had given me information but my love was so powerful that it didn’t let me do so. I had asked you that moment what your further plans were. I had also asked if you wanted a divorce from me. And you know your reply.”

He continues, “After the contemplation during the night following the evening you gave unpleasant information, I could see that you could have kept the affair secret as well as who the father was. But somehow the trust you had in our relationship kept you from doing so. I could also see that you didn’t want to dissolve our relationship. So I went along with you and gave you time to prove your sincerity towards our relationship. And the fact is that you did prove it.”

“The reality of life is that I could have cheated on you so brazenly instead and kept you in darkness about it. We all are capable of committing grave mistakes but it requires real courage to accept them and real self-control not to repeat them. And only true love gives an individual real courage to accept mistakes and self-control not to repeat them when they involve another individual.” He continues further.

Sanjana again asks, “Will you be able to accept the baby that is about to come shortly in your life as your own? Will you not show any bias against him or her?”

He replies to it, “Sanjana, it is true that I will not be able mentally to get rid of the fact that I am not its biological father. But I fully assure you that I will never express any prejudice against him or her since it is an essential part of you whom I love truly.”

She happily hugs him a couple of times and says, “I expected the same from you. In fact, initially it was your mature views on life I had been attracted to. And the attraction gradually blossomed into love.”

He says laughingly, “You promise me to develop capability of self-control to avoid making grave mistakes, though I realize it is humanly not possible to do so.”  

They both keep hugging each other for sometime without saying a word, simply fathoming other’s feelings. The ability of fathoming the feelings of others verily fortifies the foundations of relationships.

After a week, Sanjana gives birth to a healthy male baby. All are very happy, Sumedha being the happiest of all as she has got a brother who will play and quarrel with her.

Things have been going on well for all of them. After a couple of months, when both are alone, Sanjana asks, “Aditaya, I have a qualm lurking in mind about what we will tell our children, when they grow up, about the whole issue.”

He consoles her, “Sanjana, don’t harbor any guilt or fear in your mind as it will rob us of our happiness. We will tell them all when an opportune time comes because relationships should not be based on twisted truth or deception. Let us wait patiently what all surprises spring out from the womb of time. We will accept those surprises with optimism and take them in our stride.”

After a period of six months, Aditaya learns through one of his friends that Sanjana’s ex-colleague leaves India to join a new job in Australia. 

He muses that given that emotions are quite capricious, it is sometimes difficult to control them. So he decides not to tell Sananja the latest news lest it might stir up old past memories and make her compunctious about past blunder.

 


© Copyright 2018 Dr. Pran Rangan. All rights reserved.

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