Silent Cries

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: December 10, 2017

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Submitted: December 10, 2017

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SILENT CRIES

 

It was the same as before, Rebecca acted like nothing had happened but she wept, all night she wept. I could hear her soft cries all through the night. There were two nights like this in the past, back when I used to call Rebecca big sis, I wonder when I stopped calling her that.

First was when mom died, I was only six at that time and Rebecca ten. I cried for hours at her funeral and dad also cried. My dad cried even though many local considered him to be very stoic. But Rebecca, she spend all the time consoling me and dad, she didn’t cry, not at all, but I could feel her shaking when she held me tight in her arms to help me stop crying. I wondered why she was acting all grown up and not crying even though she was just a kid herself. But when night came she wept, I could faintly hear her cried the entire night as she curled up in the bed next to me.

The second time was when she had just graduated from school and started her job at the neighborhood grocery store. That day I argued with her but I guess I shouldn’t have, I made it a bit hard for her by bringing up the topic that she didn’t want to talk about. Only a year ago she used to go on and on about how much she wants to go to a renowned arts college and become a famous artist. But now, she is going to quit her studies and start doing a job in an old grocery store, this made me quite angry because I knew how badly she wanted to do arts and when I confronted Rebecca, her initial excuse was that the shop keeper is going to let her draw sign boards and so she is happy with just that. I knew that was a lame excuse so I kept pressing her to tell me that truth, I was stupid enough not to take the hint that she doesn’t want to talk about it. I would have been better for both of us if I hadn’t kept on asking her after all I couldn’t do a thing about it other than feel bad.

In the end she told me that we couldn’t afford both of us going to college so one of us has to make the sacrifice and she was obviously the logical choice since it is more important that the male of family goes to college rather than the female. It was clear that I was the reason that she cannot pursue her dream and I couldn’t do anything about it other than making things worse. She cried that entire night too and it was all my fault.

And now Rebecca is again being made to sacrifice her happiness for the family. Dad is making her leave her boyfriend whom she very much likes and marry someone else who she doesn’t even know, even though both Rebecca and her boyfriend are willing to marry each other. The only reason dad doesn’t approve their marriage is because of the stupid reason that their families don’t get along with each other. I was willing to fully support if only she didn’t give in to dad’s demands and agree to marry a stranger without any resistance. I told her that she should oppose dad’s decision but she declined. In the end all that she ever did was cry nothing else.

At that moment my respect for my sister greatly diminished. I looked up to her, respected her and though of her as my role model, someone who I wanted to become for I thought she was strong. However, now I have realized that she is not strong but rather selfless, not willing to fight for her own rights, not fighting for what she believes is right, always doing what she is expected to do. For a person like that it’s not that happiness wasn’t and option it was just that they gave it away and I have no desire to become such a person.

I realized that making compromises with your life should never be acceptable, and you can never find happiness that way therefore now I always fight for what I think is right, even on the smallest of things whether it’s with dad or anyone else, and even if it makes sound a little selfish because I never want to be like my sister. However, I still care for my sister very much even though I don’t approve the way she spends her life. I still miss her and often find myself thinking that is she happy in her new home after marriage or just wearing a fake smile on her face.


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