parody 1

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic


India

Submitted: December 12, 2017

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Submitted: December 12, 2017

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DISCLAIMER:

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or have been used in a fictitious manner. 

Any resemblance to actual persons, actual events, actual entities, actual places, actual names, actual characters, actual businesses, actual incidents, etc. is purely coincidental.

SCENE:

In Kartikeyapur, New India, three brothers named Om Khare (the youngest), Jai Khare (the middle one), and Jagdish Khare (the eldest) are desperately trying to make ends meet.

Om is an engineering graduate from the world-renowned Loha Mandi Institute of Information Technology (LMIIT), whereas Jai and Jagdish are law graduates from another world-renowned, elite University called International Law School (ILS).

Despite their impressive pedigree, the brother-trio is having a hard time in finding befitting jobs.

In desperation, Om prays to Lord Krishna and pleads for kind help. Krishna sends a WhatsApp message back, saying that he (Krishna) is too busy with millions of such requests from his (Krishna’s) jobless devotees, thanks to the new amateurishly-ruling government of New India. Krishna, however, says that he has forwarded Om’s plea to Prophet Mohamed, and that Mohamed will soon get back to Om.

Seven earth-days later, Prophet Mohamed visits Om in his (Om’s) dream. They converse:

Prophet Mohamed: My blessings to you, dear job-less child! I am sorry I opened your e-file just now, and have taken stock of your unfortunate situation only just now. Hence the delay in making this skype-based dream-call!

Om Khare: Thank you very much, O venerable one! I am grateful that you and Lord Krishna are so full of mercy and kindness, and that you take each one of us mortals so seriously.  Let me also mention, if I may, that I have two older brothers too, who are as impressively-unemployed as I am.

Prophet Mohamed: Actually, I just became aware of that fact too, as Professor Chitragupta just now put a new e-note in your file. No problemo! I will now help the three of you with one good idea! Killing many birds with one stone, eh?

Om Khare: Pray stop puns and tell me your idea with no further time-delay.

Prophet Mohamed: I have been looking at the pathetic mental/social/medical conditions under which water-buffalos live in your country. There is no comprehensive system in place, currently, to help these unfortunate gentle souls!  There must be millions of them!  I have invented a magic-rod called Bhens-Rakshak, keeping in mind the fact that water-buffalo is known, in numerous of your earthly languages, by the name ‘bhens’. I will now give that rod to you. You and your brothers should start a no-profit-no-loss business based on this invention. Of course, feel free to factor your salaries in! But do not over-pay yourself, lest you are in trouble with India’s Income-Tax Department (IITD) and/or with auditors from Cosmic Tax Service (CTS).

Prophet Mohamed hands the rod over to Om and fully explains the rod’s functionality. The rod is supposed to be good, at least for now, for resolving only the medical problems in water-buffalos. The sick organ/part of a water-buffalo’s body should be exposed to the curing cosmo-medical radiation coming out of the rod, for a few earth-seconds every earth-day. Most medical problems in water-buffalos will disappear if the aforementioned procedure is repeated five-to-ten times without a break, says The Prophet.  The rod, Prophet Mohamed continues to explain, has been tested vigorously and rigorously on departed souls of water-buffalos who are already in heaven, and has shown its ability to cure most of the commonly-encountered  diseases in  today’s water-buffalos (e.g., cancer of tail, mental depression, indigestion after inhaling plastic, tendency to talk too much, etc.). The only disease, continues Prophet Mohamed, that the rod is still unable to cure in water-buffalos is the suicidal tendency that is slowly becoming a serious problem in modern water-buffalos as more and more of them  are becoming registered users of social-media sites like Facebook.

Prophet Mohamed disappears from Om’s dream. Om wakes up to find the rod on his bed, with a red-colored on/off button and with a small display screen. English is the only language option available on the display screen, for obvious reasons.

The brother-trio vigorously follow up on the magic-rod invention that has miraculously come their way.  A Company called National Bhens Rakshak Association (NBRA) is set up. The Company is owned by the two elder brothers, Jai and Jagdish. Om has decided to join as an employee. His job title is Director, Research & Development.

New India’s new Prime Minister, Dr.  Gauvar Ganesh (Ph.D. from the Department of Thought-Control Engineering, Global University of Science and Technology (GUST)), has been contacted for help and guidance. He has showered the trio with words of praise, for seriously trying to take care of water-buffalo’s plight in New India. Dr. Ganesh promptly sanctions New-Rupee ten-million grant for the venture, from Prime Minister’s Research Fund (PMRF). An interest-free loan worth New-Rupee one-billion is also in the pipeline, thanks to the deep interest shown in NBRA by New India’s old Finance Minister, Dr. Haroon Lee (Ph.D. from Hyderabad School of Economics (HSE)). 

The list of helpers and supporters of NBRA is growing fast and furious. Some notable entries in the list follow hereunder.

a). Professor Dhurandhar Deshpande, Director of Loha Mandi Institute of Information Technology (LMIIT),

b). Mr. Maloo Jatav of Bihar who is well-known for his deep love for water-buffalos,

c). General Marvez Moosaraf, retired Dictator of Pakistan,

d). Professor Suhasini Phule, Director of Dayabhai Ambedkar College Of Information Technology (DACOIT),

e). Mr. Ketan Phogat, famous writer and animal-lover,

f). Mr. Farhan Chan, famous Mollywood Actor,

g). Professor Darbhanga Singh of the University of Ghoda Dongri (UGD).

 

NBRA has started inviting on-line/phone-based applications from interested owners of water-buffalos, for registration in a Medical Insurance Policy. The policy will cover all existing and pre-existing medical conditions of all patients registered under the policy. There will be zero-deductible for patients more than ten earth-years old. The policy premium, to be paid in advance at the beginning of each earth-month, is an affordable one, for most applicants. The Company hopes to make money by having a large customer-base, instead of demanding hefty premiums. Free emergency-ambulance service and free-hospitalization to all needy patients is guaranteed. For not-so-serious illnesses, Om Khare himself visits patients to offer the rod-based cure.

On the beautifully designed NBRA web-site, several toll-free numbers are available, offering 24x7 support to existing/potential customers. When one calls anyone of these phone numbers, one is greeted with the following song.

PARODY SONG:

Om jai jagdish khare

Swami jai jagdish khare

Om jai jagdish khare

Swami jai jagdish khare

Bhens janon ke sankat

Jhat se door kare

Om jai jagdish khare

Swami jai jagdish khare

Bhens janon ke sankat

Chhadh se door kare

Om jai jagdish khare

 


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