The Renegade Tears

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic


"Wholeheartedly she has done what was supposed to do, why should she accept half solutions now?!"

Submitted: December 15, 2017

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Submitted: December 15, 2017

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The battle is about to start. she has wrongly thought that she won her first war. it was only some moments of euphoria and celebration before the re-start of a new war. This time, they play with her psychologically which is a hundred times difficult than the armed war! she gets sick of being treated as a heavy burden or as a doll whose destiny is determined by the holder of her yarns! Her free will is her sin and her opinion is her taboo. she strongly begs her eyes to imprison those shameful tears which oppose but to be shed on her cheeks, whenever her dignity is injured. she fights resisting them but she can't. They are much stronger than her! yes, these two transparent drops are heavier than a ten Kilogram box. at least you can ask someone to help you with the latter, but what about tears?! You are the only one to control them. she does not oppose what is happening, it is just her partial readiness that makes her shaky and somehow vulnerable! However, she will not accept any underestimation whatsoever. she will oppose being called inexperienced. she will oppose seeing her maimed image drawn by the hands of those whose interest heavily lies in her being vulnerable and needy! she regenerates her power every now and then. she knows that what she is facing now is nothing of what's coming. she is ready to face the battle, but again she fears her tears!! she wishes to get rid of this wishy-washy part of her.
In the past, she wrongly believed that the person who is more sensitive to shed tears (true ones of course) is to be more kind and true than others! Now, she wishes from the bottom of her heart to have no tears. You know, she can go for a surgery even to block out those tears ducts and end her vulnerability! she is insane, isn't she? Unfortunately, no doctor will allow such surgeries not to mention what she will receive from disdain and contempt! She just does not want to give up on what she has long embraced. she just does not want to see all the things she dreams about fall apart! she just does not want to live with half dignity! wholeheartedly she has done what she was supposed to do. why should she accept half solutions now? she is just shocked by people whom she knows were not true from the very beginning but did not expect that their blow will be that fast! she just wants to live peacefully. she just wants to learn how to control her tears!!!"
All of a sudden, her master entered the room. she got confused and hastily closed her notebook. “what are you doing”? He said in his usual cold authoritative manner. “Nothing, I was just finishing my homework,” said she faking a smile.when he went away, she put her homework at the bottom of her closet and made sure -as she always does- that it was totally submerged under her mountain of clothes and this is the reason why she had not ever thought to tidy her closet nor to let her Mum did! Eventually, she fell asleep to meet whomsoever she wants and does whatsoever she aspires too, in total peacefulness and total freedom, with no tears!!
 


© Copyright 2019 Basma Ibrahim Taha. All rights reserved.

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