Chapter 1: Heading out

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Fantasy critics

Reads: 704
Comments: 2

Chapter 1


Heading out


The last remaining members of the Baskin tribe lived with their Goddess inside a palisade. The stakes were thick, large and pointy, like a pencil which had been freshly sharpened with an electric sharpener. Round mud huts with cone shaped roofs that had reeds on them were enclosed inside of the palisade. There were nine in all. One of them were larger than the rest, and instead of a blue sheet hanging in front of the entrance, like the smaller ones, it had a red sheet

 When the sun began to bring light to the dark sky, a woman pushed the red sheet to the side and walked out of the hut. She had dark skin, long shoulder length hair that was tied in a bun on the top of her head, a slim figure and small angel wings on her back. Attire wise, she wore a brown wrap around her chest and a long, beige grass skirt.

 The woman walked towards one of the small huts, pushed the blue sheet to the side and entered.  Inside the hut, there slept on the floor three siblings: Two girls and one boy. Two of them were teenager (around the age of 14-16) while the other was still a mere child (probably 6-8). The woman gazed at them by the entrance for a couple of seconds. She went forward until she was standing beside the boy and she began to lightly kick him. “Get up, Demo.” She said.

Demo turned and looked up at the dark figure hovering over him. “Who is it?”

“It’s your Goddess, stupid, who else would it be. I’m hungry. So, it’s time for you and your sister to get out and hunt for food or I’ll die. You wouldn’t want that to happen, would you?” 

Demo sat up and shook his head. “No, I don’t want that to happen Goddess, Brix.”

“Good, now wake your sister.” 

Demo started shaking his sister who was next to him, on the left.  “Maya, get up!” He then stretched his arm over Maya and touched his second sister. “Ady get up.”

“No, No!” Brix said quickly. “Leave her asleep. I can lock the gate behind y’all, so that brat can stay asleep.”

 Demo continued shaking Maya.” Maya get up.”

 “What!” yelled Maya.

“Brix wants us to get up and hunt for food.”

“Get y’all weapons and come outside,” Said Brix, before walking back outside.

 The two eldest siblings rose to their feet, grabbed their bows and quivers full of arrows, that laid near the spot they slept, and left Ady inside the hut. 

The two siblings saw Brix standing in front of the gate, so they headed in that direction. They stopped in front of Brix and stared at her.

“You know the deal: You go out, find some food and try not to die, you got that?”

 The two siblings nodded their heads.

 “Good.” Brix turned around and stared at the log that laid horizontal across the gate. The log was quickly lifted by Brix, who used her telekinesis. “Alright, good luck out there and stay safe.”

 The two hunters thanked their Goddess then pushed the gate open and walked out. Brix watched them walk into the forest ahead. Once they had vanished from her sight, she used her powers to close the gate and reposition the beam across the gate.

 She turned around and sighed. “They won’t find anything out there. Every-one’s going to starve.” She remained silent for a while. “If I die.” The thought was too much for her. She headed back into her hut.

 Maya followed behind her brother for the longest time. However, after an hour of traveling with him, she suggested they split up. “You went east last time and I went west. Let’s switch this time. I go east, and you go west.” Demo didn’t want to split up and have his sister going on her own again, but he knew it would increase their chances of finding food for themselves, their Goddess, and their younger sister, so He agreed.

 The two of them hugged.  “Stay safe out there.” Said Demo. “If you see anyone, turn and quickly return to our home.”

“I can do a battle and prove to the other tribes that they are no match for the members of the Baskin tribe by cutting their heads off and returning it to our home as a prize,” said Maya.

 Demo laughed. “Yes, you could. But we should focus on filling our stomachs before thinking about doing battle.”

Maya agreed. She then turned to the east and began walking.

 Demo remained in the same spot as he watched his sister walk away. “Stay safe!” he shouted to Maya once she was at a good enough distance. He then turned and headed to the west.

When Maya looked back and found that her brother wasn’t in her line of vision any longer, she naturally became more cautious. She plucked an arrow from her quiver and held it upon her bow. She then began to hop from tree to tree as she continued to look for prey.

 After two hours of jumping from tree to tree, Maya began to hear weeping. The sound was human and came a few distances ahead of her. Maya thought of going back; however, she was curious to know who it was that was crying, so she continued forward. Soon she got close enough to see the source of the weeping.

Curled up into a ball on the ground was a girl who looked to be around Ady’s age. She had long blonde hair, skin that was light almost pale skin and clothes that were very different from Maya’s (Who wore the same outfits as their Goddess).

 Maya had never seen or met anyone who wasn’t a part of her tribe before, so she was very, very nervous. However, whomever the girl was, she couldn’t have been of any danger to Maya, for she had no weapon on her, that were visible, and her weeping made her less threating. Maya slowly went towards the girl, making sure to look around as she kept going forward.

Once she was hovering over the girl, she paused. “Who are you!” Maya asked while aiming her bow and arrow at the girl.

Submitted: December 17, 2017

© Copyright 2021 zuki. All rights reserved.


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Add Your Comments:



A good lively start, which leaves you wanting to read more.

nice job.

Tue, January 9th, 2018 9:11pm


Thanks. Suggest one of your stories to critique and i'll see what i can do.

Tue, January 9th, 2018 7:47pm

CD Taylor

Good first chapter! It's hooked me enough so far to one to move to the next chapter. :)

Fri, January 12th, 2018 5:27pm


Thanks for reading and your comment!

Sun, January 14th, 2018 2:47pm

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