she'll heal

Reads: 43  | Likes: 1  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic


this is my poem based on my actual childhood events and pain

Submitted: December 17, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: December 17, 2017

A A A

A A A


Lifes got a funny way of revealing the truth unseen

as I get older I grasp all the depths of pain you bring

im lying down contemplating the misconceptions of our

conversations 

wondering where what we had all fell down...

 

you use to be my hero, 

the man of all righteousness, my father Ramiro

you never did no wrong to me

I defended you against mom so hard my tongue would bleed the

truth I thought to see

 

I was a little girl...

my momma's angel but my daddy's world

I held onto the time I had to see you

but all the things I couldn't have with you slowly killed me through 

and through

I saw the little girls with daddy in their hand 

some things I was just to young to understand...

 

If you loved us so, why would you let me and mom go 

why would you make the choice to take yourself away so long

I was so young I thought it was me who made it all wrong 

I cried in the sheets of my bed 

tears filling the pillowcase as I buried my precious head 

 

In my heart you always stayed; for you, me and momma always 

prayed

every dandelion I made my special wish 

my daddy home with me, with a loving goodnight kiss

 

all my life I was only close to you 

momma didn't understand me, I had to take care of her for you 

too

some things I coundn't tell you though...

things that happened to me that would only kill you to know 

I was upset you weren't there to protect me 

maybe if you were home, maybe if you weren't behind bars

I wouldn't have to live and grow with all these hurting scars

 

I wish I could tell you now, I wish I could confide in you 

but you say all these hurtful things about me...

why daddy ??? this just isn't you...

 

momma told you I was hurting 

telling you your daughter just doesnt know how to feel;

you killed my heart when all you said was "she'll heal"

 

I got tears running down my face

how could you say that

how could you think it was nothing

you think it'll just heal

my whole life you weren't even here

do you know all the things I had to feel??!?!

 

were you there when my cousin touched my privates

the screaming, tears, and sleepless nights...

everything I tried to hide it

 

were you there when family members I was suppose to trust

touched my body and spoke to me in words of lust?!??!

 

were you at the corner of my bed

as I cut my wrist and cried and thought how easier it would have

felt if my helpless soul was dead

 

do you know how I felt as I wrapped the cord around my neck

looked into my mirror and cried cause all I saw was a little girl 

a dying wreck...

 

how about the times when those guys tried to get between my 

thighs 

were you there to help your babygirl,

were you holding me as I cried out my soul

living with all this pain not knowing how to let it go

 

you think I've had it all good 

living life with my family, nice things, a nice car

not knowing I've gone through life only adding to my heartfelt

bleeding scars

 

now I got a father who speaks of me in a hurting way

do you not know the power of the words you say??

 

I used to be your little girl... momma's angel... your world

I used to want to come to you for all that I went through

confused, angry, hurt... 

the way you make me feel. 

 

but maybe you're right dad...

" She'll heal "

 

 

 

 


© Copyright 2018 Allysa Damian. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

More Non-Fiction Poems