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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Poetic Dreamers


You ever have a secret in which you've never told anyone? That's so dark and deep, you wonder if you even know the answer?

Submitted: December 17, 2017

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Submitted: December 17, 2017

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It’s different
Than I’ve made everyone think
Or than what they would think
If they knew.
It’s so different
Than what I thought
When I did it 
The first time.
I thought I hated it
Hated myself
For not knowing
For asking questions
With no answers.
I thought I wanted
What everyone else does
When they do it
The first time
But I didn’t
Not really anyway.
I only told myself that as an excuse
Finally an answer
To one of my many questions
But wasn’t the truth.
It didn’t help
With how I felt
With how I acted
Or what I thought
It didn’t help
With how I appeared
With how I did things
Or with finding any answers.
But I kept doing it.
Day
After day
After day
After day.
I never stopped
Not once did I hesitate.
But why did I do it?
Why did I do something
Everyone says is bad
Risky
Concerning
And difficult?
But what I don’t understand
Is why people do it
For only those reasons
And why when they did it
They felt thunder roll within them.
When I did it
I only did it enough
Enough to quench my thirst
At least for the next day.
And it worked
Better than you know.
And so I kept doing it
And doing it
And doing it.
Day 
After day
After day.
It was something I enjoyed
Heck you might say it became a hobby
A bucket list item
A goal. 
And so even now I still do it
Day 
After day
After day.
Not once have I stopped
Not once have I hesitated.

 


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