Drunk till death

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: December 18, 2017

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Submitted: December 18, 2017

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Drunk till death

 

He starts to scream again. Throws away his bottle of beer. Shouts louder and louder. I can see the aggression in his eyes and I´m sure that he can see my fear in my eyes too. I´m just sitting here, afraid and scared of him, of the things he will do next. I can´t believe what happened and that he really believes that it´s my fault that our daughter died.

 

It started when Charly was five. My husband Peter, a big guy with blue eyes, lost his job and because of his sadness and disappointment he started to drink alcohol at every time of the day. He started drinking early in the morning and stopped late in the evening. I couldn´t stop him. He didn´t took care of our daughter, helped her in school or even did funny things with her. He just screamed at us for no reason. Every time I could see the fear in my daughter´s beautiful blue eyes. But that was not the  only terrible thing he did. Sometimes, one or two times a week, he also punched me and Charly. It changed Charly and her character. As a child she was confident, happy, motivated and had a lot of friends. After Peters first tantrums she changed into a shy, lonely girl. Since then, I´ve never seen her pretty smile in her pretty face again. It was horrible. We never talked about these things or even about other stuff. She was always locking the door after she came home and stayed there for a long time. I could have done something to help her but I did not. I didn´t think about her, getting more and more sad every day, losing her friends, become a depressive person, cutting herself and even think about committing suicide. And I hate myself for not realizing it. The day my daughter died, a piece of me died too. She hung up herself on monday last week. She left a letter with a small text: “Sorry mom, I cannot live any longer. I´m sorry. I love you!“ as I read this tears came into my eyes like they never did before. I lost my daughter, my one and only. One can say the death of my daughter seems to be my doom too. Now I´m alone with this stupid bastard who doesn´t gives a shit about our daughter or even realized that she is dead. I hope that he gets his aggression under control soon and doesn´t kill me till then...


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