A poem full of Christmas cheer: Bah Humbug.

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic


A little sprinkling of Christmas cheer! Bah Humbug!

Submitted: December 19, 2017

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Submitted: December 19, 2017

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A poem full of Christmas cheer: Bah Humbug!

 

It's breakfast time and my toasted Christmas tree shaped crumpets pop up.

I wash them down with a Rudolph caramel, cinnamon lattecino swirling in my coffee cup.

Driving to work with the radio on, the airwaves are full of Christmas songs.

Jingle bells, jingle bell rock,

It’s Chriiiiistmaaaas!

I wish it could be Christmas everyday!

Oh why don’t you all just fuck off and go away!

 

Its Christmas jumper wearing day at work.

Fluffy santa’s, red nosed reindeers, elves and snowmen.

You’ll not catch me wearing one of those, no way man.

Where’s your jumper the boss says?

Oh! It’s in the wash, my dryer’s broke, it’ll be wet for days.

Oh why don’t you all just fuck off and go away.

 

I have twenty Christmas platters on order

What’s so festive about spring rolls and a dip?

Stick on a Christmas tag and customers actually buy this fake Christmas shit.

Its Prosecco time! Here they come,

Louts in suits loud and brash.

They guzzle down bottle after bottle pissing away their cash.

Oh, it’s turning out to be a very long day

Why don’t you all just fuck off and go away.

 

At last the day is over as I arrive back home,

My dogs greet me with licks and kisses looking for a bone.

What’s Daddy got for you, you little terrors I grin,

Oh look a fluffy Santa and Rudolph let the games begin

I crack open a bottle of festive Mr Jack and sit back and relax.

As I ease away the pain in my feet, legs and back.

Another day is over. Another Christmas is done.

Just another 364 days before the next one comes along.

 

Merry fucking Christmas!!!!!!!

 

 

 


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