Over-whelmed -- a Tanka

Reads: 418  | Likes: 2  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 6

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic


Over-whelmed – a tanka

 

I sat down and cried,

over-whelmed with deep despair;

no way out, it seems,

except for my dreams

that bring some magic moments.


Submitted: December 19, 2017

© Copyright 2021 hullabaloo22. All rights reserved.

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Comments

jaylisbeth

I love this "tanka" structure, just like your haikus, you say so much in fewer lines. Very beautiful.

Tue, December 19th, 2017 8:07pm

Author
Reply

Thank you, jaylisbeth!

Tue, December 19th, 2017 12:08pm

Sue Harris

Hang on to those dreams Hully. Nice one!

Tue, December 19th, 2017 9:23pm

Author
Reply

I always try, Sue! Thanks so much for reading.

Tue, December 19th, 2017 1:24pm

Lucas Barstow

I've not seen a tanka before, thank you for bringing the style to my attention.

Tue, December 19th, 2017 10:00pm

Author
Reply

Bert Broomberg, also a writer on Booksie, told me about it in syllables it follows a 5,7,5, 5,7 pattern. I'd not heard of it before but then I'd only recently found out what a haiku was

Thanks for reading, Lucas.

Tue, December 19th, 2017 2:07pm

Jeff Bezaire

Hold on, Hully! One day, the magic from your dreams will weave into the real world and reward you for your strife. Those of us tested the most in life are the ones strong enough to take it. You are a mighty warrior! You are always standing, battling the next trial, even when you are drained! You are a remarkable individual.
. . .
Thanks to you, I've also started writing tankas. I wrote two last night! I'm liking it more than haikus, honestly.

Tue, December 19th, 2017 10:09pm

Author
Reply

Thanks, Jeff. I might fall down a lot but I usually drag myself back up.

And tankas -- they can say that little bit more, I guess.

Tue, December 19th, 2017 2:12pm

Mike S.

At least we have our dreams, Hully!

Tue, December 19th, 2017 10:24pm

Author
Reply

That we do, Mike, and so important they are too. Thanks for reading!

Tue, December 19th, 2017 2:33pm

Adam L.

I am liking this tanka style plenty. Nicely done!

Wed, December 20th, 2017 1:58pm

Author
Reply

Thanks, Adam. Glad you enjoyed it.

Wed, December 20th, 2017 8:01am

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