Night One

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


There I was. In the middle of a situation I had never been in before. I feel like I am supposed to acknowledge I have just made mistake – but I don’t. My head is spinning through a multitude of
emotions and regret is not one of them.

Submitted: December 20, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: December 20, 2017

A A A

A A A


There I was.

In the middle of a situation I had never been in before. I feel like I am supposed to acknowledge I have just made mistake – but I don’t. My head is spinning through a multitude of emotions and regret is not one of them.

Warm. Comfortable. What is this feeling? Is this happiness? I wouldn’t know, I haven’t felt it in so long I can’t even remember what it is supposed to feel like. At home, that is all I can say; it is like lying in bed with the fire on, watching some obligatory show on Netflix, cuddled up next to a loved one with a nice cup of hot chocolate on a cold winters night. It is safe. Safe like the arms of a long-lost friend, in which, like that friend, I welcome with a warm embrace.

How could I feel like this? Her motionless body strewn across the bed – put there by me. This is the culmination of everything in my life, but how did it get to this point? It feels like a dream, where were we? We were at the bar, we were drinking. Yes, we were having a nice time – a very nice time with friends. Then the trivia came on, I remember the trivia – I didn’t get a single question right, which is totally out of character for me. Why was that? All I can remember is her face, there is nothing else there – maybe I just had my attention set to one thing. There is nothing else I can think of; a mans muffled voice rang in the background.

“What is the capital of Mexico?”

Yes, Mexico; it’s a trick question because the capital of Mexico is just Mexi- God, she’s beautiful. What was I thinking? Who cares, I wonder what she was she thinking. We seem to get along, does she like me? Should I be infatuated like this, what is wrong with me?

My phone vibrates. Mood lost. It’s the third missed text from her in the hour, she is getting pushy again – I can’t just go out and have a nice time. Screw the phone; in the backpack, it goes. It isn’t useful here anyways, just enjoy yourself. She puts her arm around me and whispers in my ear.

“I might have to stay at yours for a while after this, my ride doesn’t arrive ‘til much later – is that okay?”

I clung to every word, every syllable – yes, of course it is okay, you can stay for as long as you want, but no. My mind formed more than just the words of lunacy and casually told her that would be fine, yes, that would be just fine. I wanted her to myself, I told her I was going home quite a while before I had originally intended. It was almost midnight; that was when her ride came and I wanted her to spend just a little bit of time alone with me before the night had ended. Yes, I was being selfish – but I do it so rarely so I let myself have just this one.

Home. Yes, I will never get used to that phrase but I am going home. Limping. Why was I limping? Oh yes, I forgot, my foot hurt; I had impaled it on my bed only two nights previous – I got caught off balance. Our hands touched. The world stopped; and as I slowly stood upright, our hands detached – the most unnatural feeling in the world. I go back and grab her hand, this time not by accident. I lead her to my door and we go inside.

Tired. Bed. Home. We felt these things in synchronisation. I lean over her on the bed. Kiss.

Now here we are. I open my eyes, she is still lying on the bed. Beautiful. She smiles at me – I stop thinking; something I don’t do often. I crawl up to her and kiss her on the head. She smiles.

“You’re an idiot. I love you”

I loved her too, but I was almost too speechless to say it. I am terrible at using words at a time like this, so I just embrace her. She knows what it means, it is everything from “I love you more than anything in the world” to “please never leave me”. This moment was perfect.

 


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