I am in love with the REAL you

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Book Dragons

she closed her eyes and then opened them looking at the vast night sky, suddenly missing her backyard and feeling homesick. "the problem is," she turned her gaze towards him again. "you love this
me." she said gesturing towards her own self.

Submitted: December 20, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: December 20, 2017



"But how can you just say it like that. That you love me? What do you even know about me? You met me just 20 days before in this stupid camp." She said with frustration in her voice. And he could not decipher her tone. Did she just called this camp stupid? "I hate it when people just throw this word 'Love' in the air as if it is some kind of average feeling." She said it more to herself.

He looked at her with bemusement for a while and then shook his head. "Okay, so… is THIS your way of telling me that you do not like me or you hate me or whatever? Because trust me, you can simply avoid answering….instead of....you know..mocking my feelings." She started shaking her head as soon as he said that. "And I love you. I never asked you to love me back or infact I just said I think I like you. But now yeah, I do love you. I accepted that too I guess?" His voice was a mere whisper now. "It's okay if you don't…"

"Noo," she interrupted him, totally defeated. She saw pain and disappointment in his eyes and suddenly felt her heart bilging guilt all over her senses. "The problem is.." She stopped, thinking how to even continue what she wants to say. He was still looking at her expecting an explanation. She closed her eyes and then opened them looking at the vast night sky, suddenly missing her backyard and feeling homesick. "The problem is," she turned her gaze towards him again. "you love THIS me." She said gesturing towards her own self.

His expression changed to something between baffled and sympathetic. She felt like a toddler who is in pain and he could not know the reason what is hurting her but would do anything to stop her pain. And that feeling brought tears in her eyes. When he realized that she is crying he reached out to hold her hands but she immediately pulled her hands back and turned her face away. He sighed and most probably gave up. She thought he will never talk to her again because maybe she was being irrational. Obviously she was being irrational. He shifted on the bench and her doubt got confirmed, he is leaving. But then the warmth of his fingers in her own hands brought her back to reality, back to his heart. His fingers entwined in hers, and for a moment she almost smiled thinking about how perfectly their hands fit together. Like her hand is a lock which stored her heart and his hand is the key to it. She now smiled with this crazy thought and that smile was a reliever for his disquieted heart. He smiled back and wiping tears from her cheeks said, "Okay Pearl, will you tell me what do you mean? What do you mean by 'this' you?" He was still looking into her eyes. And his eyes were giving her everything but confidence.

Finally she turned her gaze away from him, took a long breath and just spoke everything that came to her mouth. She was speaking her heart and she wasn't waiting for her mind to give a green signal to the words her heart was chanting. "This camp was just an experiment Rile. An experiment I was doing on myself. All this while you must be thinking how cool I am and how stylish, funky or whatever I am and may be, may be you fell in love with my crazy pseud side but NOO.. I am sorry, this is not the real me. I am not crazy, I am not cool or hot or happening or whatever that made you fall in love with me. The truth is…" she stopped. Afraid to look at him. She thought he must be thinking if she is mad or what? What even is she blabbering? But even then, she looked at him. And, he was smiling. Albeit his smile was dubious, it gave her courage to speak further. "The truth is I am the complete opposite of what I am here. I love solitude rather than dancing around bonfires with so many people. I love my backyard more than these bonfires. I prefer simple classical music instead of Rock or Jazz. Everything, from my hairstyle to my dressing sense, it is all a pseudo-experiment I was doing just to check whether there is something wrong with me and why am I different from most of the others? I know I am being completely irrational now, uttering nonsense.." The lump in her throat was growing heavier and heavier as though her heart will anytime come out from her mouth. "Only yesterday I realized that this IS the real me. And not what I am pretending to be. I am an introvert….and I don't think I will ever be the hot and happening chic I was pretending to be. The one you have fallen in love with." And his smile was still there but fading. Whatever was left of his goofy smile was annoying her, mocking her. "And the real me, also wants to punch you for falling in love with the wrong 'me'" Now his grinning face turned into a straight one. And she was again both surprised and jealous by how easily he conceals his emotions whenever he wants to. In these twenty days, even she has fallen in love with him. The difference is she has not fallen in love with some pseud personality. She was questioning him about falling in love in just twenty days but then she has already secretly accepted what a hypocrite she herself is!

He on the other hand was amused by her honesty but bemused by the reasons she assumed on his behalf for loving her. She was still looking at him and it was her turn to expect an answer. When he didn't said anything she realized that may be she knows the answer. "It's okay you know. If you have changed your mind. I really don't…." Before she could continue, he pulled away his hand from hers. And her expression was so transparent, that anyone could see her soul ripping apart and leaving her body with that one minute gesture of seperation."

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