The Nasty Things We Do

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic


Is that... lotion or soap???

Submitted: December 23, 2017

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Submitted: December 23, 2017

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 Women bathrooms have way too much stuff in them…

All the decorative shit

The lotions, perfumes,

And sometimes even a couch

Like, why am I trying to relax in a public bathroom

Anyways…

I go in, attempting to use the bathroom and wash my hands in peace

But no, there’s people talking

To each other through the stalls

Why do women do that?

It’s rather disgusting

Like, I’m doing some of my most personal business

And we’re talking?

You couldn’t just wait… for a few minutes?

And how do you stand the smells?

I go to wash my hands

But there are so many pump bottles

Which one is the actual soap?

You couldn’t have labeled it???

I’m a choose one at random

The only perk about women bathrooms

Is that everything smells good

A little bit of soap

Wash my hands

And I’m out

I repeat this routine for a few weeks

My hands come out smelling like

Fresh lilies.

It’s great

And I make sure to always go in

When no one else is in there

I don’t know why

There’s this obligation to talk

Inside these particular four walls

When outside is just as preferable.

But then

I realize something

That my routine…

It’s wrong

All wrong.

I go in – someone’s in there

I can’t turn back now,

Pretending that I’ve forgotten something

It’s too obvious

So I slink in, keeping my head down

But just before entering a stall,

I notice something

One of those pump bottles

Is now sitting outside of the lovely basket

In front, demanding attention

And it looks like soap.

The other frilly dainty bottles

Are neatly inside the basket

Waiting for after you’ve washed your hands

I inspect the bottle from afar

It’s not new.

It’s been there the whole time

Masquerading as lotion

Ambigious

I come upon a terrible realization

My routine – using that fresh lily soap –

Well it wasn’t soap at all

It was lotion

And as I hide my shame in the stall

The only thing I can do to remedy the situation

Knowing that all this time I’ve been ‘cleaning’ my hands

With lotion…

At least my hands smelled pretty, right?


© Copyright 2019 D. Nic. All rights reserved.

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