Hopeless Pursuits

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


Young love, a true story


HOPELESS PURSUITS

 

Wasn’t it supposed to rain today? Typical Singaporean weather. Just like its citizens. Indecisive. Full of surprises. A let-down. He wasn’t going to let the weather bother him today. It was just… it seemed almost anti-climactic. Every time he turned on a Korean or Taiwanese drama, he would note the rain that poured down in almost every one of the emotional scene. The weather reflected the dark and sad mood of the protagonist bringing about a scene filled with pathos. Yet, here he was. Hot sun beating down on his tanned skin. His uniform feeling wet and sticky as drops of sweat poured down from all corners of his body. He sighed heavily. It would seem the time is slowly passing by.

He waited outside her school. She never stayed back in school unlike most of her friends who found their second home in the walls of Marina Secondary School. He could not stand her friends. Constantly whining about everything from their teachers chiding them for their behaviour to their dissent with their friends’ attitude. It seemed so small and insignificant. Didn’t they realize that they were only sixteen? There was so much more the world could offer them. Unlike vice versa. Luckily, she wasn’t like that. She was different.

He remembered the way they first met. Many years ago in a primary school classroom. He had been throwing paper planes in class while the relief teacher laughed and taught him the secrets to aerodynamics. Just then, the discipline master came in with a new student. Laughter soon turned into reprimand. Yet, he could not listen to those wheezing snorts of an out-of-shape discipline master. His eyes were transfixed on a ravishing beauty.

She wasn’t from around here, any fool could tell. Her blonde hair and fair skin suggested a Westernised origin with her birth home being distant. She had a strong jawline and strands of her from a nicely tucked ponytail fell along the sides of her smooth face. The discipline master pointed towards him in a bristling manner, signaling for him to leave the classroom. He obliged unknowingly as he walked with his attention firmly on this beauty. The relief teacher stood still as he welcomed her to the class. Her name was…

He awoke at the sound of the school bell. He looked towards his watch. It was half past two. She would be coming out soon. He chided himself for falling asleep on a pillar at the void deck. Then again, he was grateful that it did help him pass the time. He looked at the rose he had brought. Vermillion red it was. He never knew why roses were so special. Something with that many thorns could not possibly be such a good gift for a girl. Yet, the florist had mentioned on how the rose, with its bursting crimson petals and wonderful crafted design signified that if one indeed wanted to get their hands on something so beautiful, one must be worthy of it. The thorns would prick one’s heart but if the heart is willing and the lady is worth, then it would be an honourable pursuit. Such words struck him deep.

He had after all, never understood love. He had only fallen in it as he did that faithful day years ago. Yet he had neither the courage nor the sense to pursue her. He too had seen many of his friends suffer at the whims of teenaged girls who choose to only stomp on the hearts of his friends. He never understood how such a delicate creature could cause even the toughest of jocks in his school to burst into tears when no one was watching. Boys don’t cry in public. Those were the harrowing words of his friend.

And there she was. Her laughter drowned the chattering voices around her. They always walked home together. He stood on the concrete pavement as she chattered with her friends, unknowing of his presence nearby. He was about to call her when she looked up and saw him. A soft smile and a nod. She whispered to her friends a light farewell as she walked towards him. Then she stopped. The smile had gone.

She gave him a confused look and narrowed her eyes. He looked downwards at his rose and hurriedly tucked it behind his back. She gave him a strange look, her eyes filled with a weird and despondent nature. She gave him a sympathetic look before removing her hand phone from her pocket. Their eyes met one final time before she turned away, walking back into her gaggle of friends. Loud snickers and giggles could be heard as all eyes now took snatches of glances towards him. Embarrassed and humiliated, he turned and looked away. He made a beeline to the bus stop, got on the first bus and rode all the way home.

Back home, he threw himself on his bed. Pangs of anger, pangs of sadness started to pierce his heart. He buried himself in his pillow thinking of his next move. With a yell of frustration, he began to furiously text her. He then threw his head into the pillow with one eye out, looking and waiting for the flash of white light that indicated an answer. An answer that never came.

He stood on the foot of his bed. Darkness had begun to fall on the Singapore sky. It was drizzling now. He snatched at his phone with his finger, waiting and hesitating to press the call button. He decided to call. No answer. He threw his hand phone in frustration. Angrily, he stomped out of his house and went down to the void deck.  He sat there, looking at the road where cars passed by in a rapid manner, almost chasing some invisible beast that stood between them and the traffic lights.

It was late when he returned home. His parents had not asked where he was. His father just shook his head disapprovingly while his mother had already gone to bed. He went to his hand phone. No white light. He switched it on. Only his wallpaper was seen. His last message had been unanswered. Neither were there any missed calls. With tears in his eyes, he scanned down towards her name and pressed the red delete button. He deleted her messages and pictures with an almost animalistic vigour. He then laid his head down into his soft pillow and prayed that the fabric would suffocate him away from the pain that lay piercing his heart. He thought back to the day he first met her and wished that his discipline master had whisked him away before he could have laid eyes on her. Regrets will now fill his dreams, he thought bitterly.

As he laid there sobbing into the night, his only thought was to his phone and how he wished he could delete her memory just as easily as he did on his phone.


Submitted: December 25, 2017

© Copyright 2020 RocketJones. All rights reserved.

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