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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic


There are words for us i.e., for mentally strong people, like STOIC. For me being more mature than others is the right meaning towards getting mentally strong. No, we are not that inhuman or special but we are person with abilities to think more, reason out more, and conclude more precise that makes us strong and on the other hand it doesn?t turn us going into an emotionless robot. The mentally strong people have some great tools to help fight negative feelings. And when you're good at dealing with the negative, you have more time for the positive. And that also helps you stay resilient when it feels like the world is out to get you. # What 90% of our generation do is…. they are not disturbed by events, but rather by their judgments about events. For example…….Get fired? Sounds bad. So by getting worried do you end up getting a much better job? NO!! So getting fired was good. Another example…… Pain in your arm? Uh-oh. But were you just in a car accident and the doctor said you might never regain feeling in your limbs? NO!!! So pain is good. What I think is events are neither good nor bad but your interpretation of them of them is good or bad. So when you blame events for your feelings, you're just plain wrong. The rain didn't make you sad, your beliefs about the rain made you sad. It's critical to know what you can control and what you can't. And for mentally strong people, the only thing you ever really have control over is your deliberate thoughts. You can't control other people, you can't control nature, and you can't always control your own body. (Try wishing away your viral fever and I can bet if that works.) When you get frustrated over something you cannot control (which is in most things) you're pretending you're God. You feel you should have power over something you don't and that's why you get angry, frustrated, or sad. Yeah, maybe people „shouldn't? do that, but they are. Maybe it „shouldn't? be raining, but it is.
You have to accept you do not have control over a lot of stuff, but that doesn't
mean you give up. You can influence things and you can try to affect them,
but you should also not think that you have 100 percent control over an
outcome, because you're almost always going to find yourself emotionally
upset if things don't go your way.

# Every morning most of the people think of meeting everything positive in
the whole new day but what I wake up thinking is that there might be
possibility in today that I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude,
insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness…
This is not negative thinking, this was just that I don't want to be surprised. I
want to be prepared.
Reminding ourselves of the worst isn't pessimism. Like buying life insurance
doesn't mean you want to die, it means you realistically recognize it can
happen and you want to be prepared. So remind yourself every morning that
people were going to be difficult. That way it wouldn't surprise you, and you
wouldn't get frustrated and just tell them all to go to hell. You could move
right on to negotiating. When we're unrealistically optimistic, when our
expectations are totally out of whack, we get frustrated and give up. But by
thinking about what could go wrong in any situation, you mentally prepare
yourself for it and you keep on trucking.
Consider your first day on the job, something went wrong and you freaked
out. A few weeks later, the same thing happened and you didn't even blink.
You got used to it. So taking the time to think through the worst that could
happen, to feel the negatives before you really feel the negatives, turns down
the volume on those emotions when it counts. And that allows you to weather
the storm.

# Now one more thing is that people who are mentally strong do believe in
God and they just not blindly are 100% sure for success. Coz we know it's
not 100% in our control and therefore it can't be 100% our fault.
Well this isn't an excuse to be lazy. It's recognizing that you have control
over process, not outcome. Saying, "I am definitely going to get full marks in
that exam" is a lie. It's outside your control. But saying, "I am going to study
my breathe out" is within your control.
And by focusing on what you can control, you also give yourself a plan of
action. If you're just blindly optimistic about getting those full marks, you can
be lazy. But by recognizing, all you have power over is studying, then boom,
You know what you need to do next.
Because if you think you can control outcomes, reality is eventually going to
punch you in the face and let you know who's the boss. And that will make
you angry with yourself or angry with the world. And you'll want to give up.
Instead, focus on what you can control, i.e., process. Plain and simple, do all
that you can. Fate permitting, you'll do well. And if you don't, then that
wasn't under your control. So don't sweat it.

# Now one perspective of mine is that what if something has gone wrong or
you are screwed up or you are in some kind of a difficulty. I say imagine
viewing yourself from the sky. Now see how small you are compared to the
city you're in. And how small that city is compared to the country. How tiny
the country is compared to the world. And the world is just a blue dot in the
This doesn't mean you're insignificant. This means, your problems are small.
And much like you are tiny compared to the galaxy, your current problem is
likely too small in the grand scheme of your life. Yes, you screwed up. But
you've screwed up before many times and it felt like the end of the world
then, too. But it wasn't.
When you put problems into a bigger perspective like „the view from above,?
you can resist the focusing illusion, and you can stay mentally strong under
the most intense pressure.
Once an army retired soldier got a job of assistant where he worked in intense
pressure and abusive environment from higher authorities. Once her wife
asked how could he worked in such an environment. He gently said to his
wife “ Dear, in my previous job the enemy used to shot at me.”
Now that's perspective. That's the view from above.
At the end, one more point I wanna add and that is also the part of my
personal thinking, that whenever I want to regain my confidence I think of
my superhero role model that what he could have done in this situation. Coz
our heroes are strong. And they can make us strong too if we think about
them when times are tough. I think of Spiderman. How he would have taken
risk to save people. Or how he had become tough at times. So, this could be
another perspective to make you mentally strong.

# Some people might still be a little scared to seriously think about „What's
the worst that can happen?? To be fair, „the worst? can be pretty bad at times.
And even the strongest people know that thinking about this is not fun.
But oddly enough, there's a very nice side-effect to considering awfulness. It
can actually make you happier. Yes, happier.
You must have noticed the basic human nature which is that you eventually
adapt to whatever good things happen to you. You get a raise… and then you
take it for granted. You buy a new car? You'll take that for granted
eventually, too.
But when we imagine losing the things we've taken for granted, the effect
temporarily reverses…..we become grateful and happier.
You don't appreciate air conditioning until you step out into 100 degree
weather. So don't be afraid to think about the worst. Much like the „view
from above? it helps you put things into perspective.
And try letting things on god when you're facing a challenge. As he does
favorable things coz only he knows what we could need in future, so he plans
it all. Seriously, give it a shot. After all…it has worked for 2000 years since
humans are born….

Submitted: December 31, 2017

© Copyright 2021 DeepSagar. All rights reserved.

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