Bat

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: 'The Odd Ones'


"When that kid in you falls, turn around."

Submitted: January 01, 2018

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Submitted: January 01, 2018

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When I was younger, I used to dream of an evil bat taking over the world of Tellitubbies (a British children's program). When he entered the scene, the sky turned grey and sinister pink, and all I could do was watch helplessly as it sucked the blood from my favourite colourful characters.

Now I am an adult however, I feel the bat has taken a different form. It is in the glances of parents steering their children away from me. It is in the way my mother tells me to 'grow up and stop acting like a child'. It is in the way that I cannot understand taxes without looking it up, it is the urge to swing on the swings at the park, the judging eyes if I choose to do so. It is the self-hatred that spawns in me every time I am late for the bus and have to eat my poptart in front of everyone around me. It is the feeling of leaving the child in you behind to become serious and cynical. 

The way the dreams ended wasn't always death, however. I recall one night, the bat ran away when I told it to stop. Until recently, I was unaware if I was a Tellitubby or I was myself, a human, in the Tellitubby world.

Now though, I see that I was neither, and all of those things. But primarily, I was the bat.

It is only yourself that chooses whether or not to let the child in you go. When you are old and grey, you don't want to be alone. As long as you keep that kid with you, you will never be.


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