Me

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic


it's just a piece of me.

Submitted: January 03, 2018

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Submitted: January 03, 2018

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Ephemeral.That's a beautiful word.A word I should often use but don't.Everything seems ephemeral to me and nothing lasts long.That may be partially due to my self diagnosed ADHD inattention or shockingly bad memory or bad hearing.I realise I may come across as a hypochondriac but I'm just being brutally honest.I often joke that a large part of my brain is missing,but I'm starting to wonder if I'm closer to the truth than I'm willing to admit.I'm an avid reader and love watching movies,but my brain fails to retain their essence within seconds of turning the last page.Sometimes,while reading the book,I have to go back and reread so that I can connect the dots.This may be familiar to many of you but what bothers me is that this is not a one time occurrence,it is something I do while reading each and every time.I'm absent minded to a fault and face daily dilemmas like forgetting whether I already showered so I shower once more just to be sure and more.I've read reviews where people claim to be affected by a book for days and it weighs down on their mind,rendering them unable to think of anything else.I've yet to experience this.Actually,the closest I've come to it was when I reimagined the sad parts of a book I loved and listened to a heartbreaking song on repeat,thus drowning in tears.I'm not sure that counts.Focus and attention are two things I seem to lack along with infinite others.I've been accused of day dreaming during conversations and failing to reply.I'm a bit hard of hearing,but the fact remains that my interest flits from subject to subject faster than you can say 'listen'.

Eye contact is a different story.I've always had trouble maintaining it as I feel it's too intense and I feel pulled into the other person's eyes.I hardly focus on what they're saying,thus resulting in irritation.I also tend to listen better when I focus on the ground or a blank surface than looking at the speaker.People find it hard to understand.I'm extremely awkward in social situations and prefer solitude to parties.While my friends are dying to attend parties and go out,all I want to do is curl up on the couch with a good book and a cozy blanket.I like to enter the fictional world and meet my characters much more than meeting their real life counterparts.Don't get me wrong!I'm not into fantasy or sci-fi.I loathe both the genres which kids of my age tend to enjoy.I'm a romantic at heart.I love comedy and action too but only if the romance element is present.I like dark romances the best.I know what comes to your mind:Fifty Shades of Grey.Normally,people who read Fifty Shades of Grey,they have any of the three reactions:
1.They are grossed out by the sexual content of the book and tend to use terms such as 'vile' and 'disgusting' to describe it.
2.They use the same terms too,but actually like the book.These types of people are too afraid to express their true opinion.
3.They openly admit that they like the book and read similar books.
I belong to the 4th category that consists of people who read the book and search for darker books.I can safely tell you that some of my favourite books makes Fifty Shades seem like Cinderella.But,I do belong to the second category too.I like the book,but pretend to not even have read the book.The last thing I need is for my family to blanch with shock and abandon me.So,you may wonder how I reached Fifty Shades of Grey from ADHD.Well,this was a small glimpse of the way my brain works.I know my writing is digestible at best,so please pardon me for boring you to death.Having gotten this off my chest gives me so much relief.Hope you guys are having a good day too.Cheers,folks!


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