Nightmare Turns To A New Light

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: January 03, 2018

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Submitted: January 03, 2018

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Nightmare Turns To A New Light

By Pa Nou Lee

At a young age, an event happened that would change my life forever. When I was fifth-teen, my oldest brother had taken his own life. His name was Masato meaning justice. The name fit his strong sense of right and wrong and wanted to protect the weak. What he protected were his siblings. After I was born, my mother had run off with another man. My father blamed all of us, his own kids for his wife leaving and, whenever he was drinking those were the days Masato protected us the most. My father would try to beat us whenever he was drunk, but Masato stood up to him and took the beatings in our places. My other siblings, Ryo, Seto and I would cry but Masato would smile and look at us saying “It’s okay, I am just happy my brothers and sister are safe.”. A few years later after my mother had left us, my father became bedridden. At this time Masato had just finished high school and made a critical decision. Instead of going to college, he went into the workforce so he could support us. He would come home late but he always checked to see if we had dinner and that we were doing good in school. Three years later, my father passed away and life at home became a bit more bearable. Masato worked hard to make ends meet. He encouraged Ryo and Seto to go to college so they could have a better future. I never really asked for anything when it came around to my birthday. Masato insisted on giving me something and so every year on my birthday, I would ask for him to sing for me. His singing made me the happiest person in the world. No one could ever sing like him. Roughly a year later, he met a woman named Mai. They were madly in love with each other and a few months later, they got married. I was excited to finally have someone I could call sister, but I was happier that Masato found someone who could make him smile. I would soon regret that feeling.

May 15, 2009 was the day we lost Masato. His wife had cheated on him and took all of his savings a month ago. This caused him to go into a deep depression. My heart ached to see him like this. I tried my best to cheer him up, but all he did was smiled and looked away. Later that night, I was in my room doing my homework when I heard the back door closed. I walked out of my room and went to look outside to see who went out, it was Masato. I thought he got called into work, but I was wrong. The following hours, the house phone ranged and when I picked up the phone my heart shattered. I ran into Ryo’s and Seto’s room and told them what happened. We rushed to the hospital praying Masato was well and alive, but that was just wishful thinking. The doctors approached us and shook their heads. Masato died before the ambulance reached the hospital. I fell to my knees, crying and screaming. Why. Why did this happen? What did I miss? He always saved us, but I couldn’t save him from his sorrows.

It had been a month since Masato's suicide. He had left a note with the words " I am sorry." Ryo and Seto continued with college and work trying to pick up where Masato had left off. They both took the responsibility of paying the bills and making sure I was living comfortably, but deep down I was broken. I hid my sadness from my two brothers. I didn't want them to be worried about me when they are too busy. During the day, I went on with my life with going to school, studying and going to my music lessons, but once I got home my sadness leaked. I locked myself in my room and cried. Why did you have to go? I couldn't bring myself to go into his room. I couldn't even breathe every time I passed it. My heart couldn't take it. My dearest and beloved brother is gone.

It was the month of September of the following year. I had become zombie-like. Going with my usual routine but emotionless. No laughter, no smile, and no more crying. I had cried all I could. On the day of my birthday, I stayed home. I walked over to Masato room and stood in front of the door. As I was reaching for the doorknob, I felt a sudden rush of lost of breathe. What was I hoping to find in his room? I finally turned the doorknob and opened the door. The morning sun was peering through the blinds shining on his desk. I walked in and looked around the room that had been left untouched since that fateful night. His bed was neatly made and his books organized on the bookshelf. I walked over to his closet. He had his shirts hung up in color order. Reds with reds and whites with whites. His shoes neatly placed next to each other, but then something caught my eye. I moved his shoes over and saw a little box. I picked up the box and walked over to his desk. I place the box down and proceed to sit in his chair. I took a deep breath and opened it. I looked inside and saw his old phone. I grabbed it and press the power button. As it was turning on, I noticed something on his home screen, it looked like a recording app. I clicked on the app and saw the last thing he had recorded. "To My Baby Sister.". I quickly pressed play and his voice came out of the phone's speaker. "Happy Birthday Akari!. I am sorry that I won't be there this time and for further birthdays. I wrote a song for you and I hope you like it.". The song started playing and as I was listening, my tears began falling. Hearing his voice, listening to his song unlocked the sadness that had been stuck inside. As the song ended, he starts talking again. "I love you, my little sister. I know you tried your best to cheer me up, but it was time for me to go. I know you have a lot of questions, but Akari please do what I couldn't. Be strong. Live on. Show the world the brightness you have inside. I believe in you and I always will. I will always be protecting you no matter what like a guardian angel. Make sure you keep Ryo and Seto on their toes for me okay? And tell them that I love them as well. I love all of you. Having you three as my siblings was the best gift I have ever gotten. I am grateful. Be good, study hard and make me proud.". The recording ended. I cried and cried my heart out, laying in his bed, hugging his pillow. I press play once again and fell asleep. When I woke up, it was nighttime. I got up and went to the living room where Ryo and Seto were just watching tv. I smiled and told them about the recording that Masato left behind. We listen to it and at the end, we hugged each other. And from that day on, we promised each other we would live to be the siblings Masato loved so dearly. Masato, please watch over us and may we all be siblings again in the next life. We love you so much. Thank you for everything.

 


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