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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Comme16. Like the rain drops in winter, it was hard to tell warmth. [in process]

Submitted: January 06, 2018

A A A | A A A

Submitted: January 06, 2018




Written by: Kimeral.emily

Rated T
Don’t take the story seriously.

Chapter 01: The love and the leaving


They started for a week, and Tina decided to call it off first.  She thought she would always be the first one in this relationship.  Initially, she was the one who confessed first.

It was a raining day and they were playing video games together and she said something outside in the garden.  She felt she was the stupid one.  She walked away from his house afterwards even though he said he liked her also.

She felt she was the sick one.  She was too stubborn.  She felt unworthy.  It was a relationship she never knew how to promise or be promised.

She smiled sometimes to know that she was a good person, but she knew it was better if they quit.

After they started, they stopped playing video games, stopped eating French fries, stopped talking out loud, and stopped enjoying life…?  She thought she was a bad influence.  She thought he still loved her, but she felt it was too much.  It had to be surreal.

She felt uncomfortable.  She had to leave.

Sam knew it had to too, but he hoped he was the one saying it first this time.  Maybe they should have just listened to their parents, give it time, but it was horrifying.  Time??

He laughed but he was alright.


She decided to move to another city.  Her parents were divorced and she realized she had to move away from him.  She would not try to upset herself when the rain came and she would not just hide in her house when she heard rain drops.

He thought the rain was hateful and he hated it.  He somehow imagined life would be less intense.  He did try to like her more.  And somehow sometimes he would say ‘I love you.’  He wanted to smack himself and die.

She hated the love words.  She hated them all.


She talked to him in real life.  It was Spring and they both hated the flowers.  He hated how she did not want any in the Winter.

The rain in the fall made him realized she was nothing but a pessimist, just like him.

Sam hated her.

Tina said it first.  “I thought of moving to another city with my mum instead of staying with my dad.”

He realized she said it first.  “Okay.  I don’t think I would see you any time soon unless it’s family dinner.  I’m your distant relative hah.  Our dads were best friends.”  He mumbled somehow.  He said it out loud again later.

He realized he never wanted to see her ever again.  And she hated how he was always so cool.  They started in the fall last year and she aimed to kill him somehow.  The video games were off and forever off.

She realized she just couldn’t understand him.  He had a romantic side and she hated how he wanted to give her that much flowers… a whole car of them.

She did not know how come she resented it.  Maybe she was wrong at all cost.  There was no way out.  She knew, there was no way out.  She felt sad.  She felt unhappy.  She was crazy.

He knew he was crazy.  She hated him for his surge of emotions that drove him to do anything.  He went all the way to carpool that much flower.  She just meant that she did not want these things.

The timing was not right.

But somehow, he knew he was the stupid one even before that.

He knew the timing was not right.  But he did not think it would drive the two of them away so easily like this.

That was the first time they broke up.


They felt they tortured one another.  Neither of them wanted love.

She looked at the flowers in her garden in a raining day in the Spring.  She moved there but she had not move her school yet.  She felt the rain was telling her she was stupid.  She was so stupid…

Tina knew, but their relationship went no way and she felt she was stupid.  She did not really cry but she knew she was stupid.

It was a weird thing at that time that she slept at his house before the relationship began.  Somehow, it led to this relationship.  She knew she was stupid.  She was…

That was probably their problem.  They just did something and they could not carry on.

She gave Sam a good bye.  She felt it was time to get away from him.

It was a sadness that she realized she was really a problematic woman.  He thought he was a man but he realized he was a sissy.  The flowers were nice, he thought, but not good enough.

He realized maybe one day he would know who he was actually.  It was nice.

Somehow, both of their hairs were blonde and her blonde hair was long enough to make different hair styles.  But he thought it should be short sometimes, and he thought he was going mad in thinking she should have short hair. 

He knew he was getting crazy.  He realized he wanted to touch her hair.  He laughed at that time.  He realized he never happened that he would brush her hair, but he did it.

Maybe it was that that drove her away.  He laughed.  Somehow, he wanted her away from him.

Sam was sane still.

He kissed her hair sometimes, and he realized the kisses were making him really happy.  And she felt her hair was dirty and she was a dirty cat.  He felt like a dirty dog.

At times like this he thought he was the better one.  He smiled.  He was the better one because he was not so picky.

No one knew what happened at that time because he did not tell them.  It was just pure happiness.  He realized what happened with kissing her hair was just pure happiness.


In the summer, she was at his house and they hugged for five hours and she pushed him away afterwards.  She felt too hot.  She realized she was.  It was day time and she felt it was not.

Somehow, she felt she invaded his personal space.

It was too much for Tina.

He realized he was not sensitive enough.  He was unhappy.  He felt like not minding her for a while.  He realized maybe they did not belong after all.  She really resented him hugging her.

“You know…  I think I got cooled off and we should just say bye,” she said.

He nodded.  “I realized too that we were just not fit.”

He knew it was like that.  He talked to his father and his father just told him to avoid her.

His father said.  “You don’t like her anymore do you?”

Sam shook his head.  “I like her but I don’t like her.  Everything was wrong.  I felt sad.  You know, I think we were too young.  I think she knew.”

Sam’s father said yes.  Sam thought he was not selfish.  Tina did not want him either.  He realized that was how everything was. 

Tina hated him.  He hated Tina.

Sam decided to let go.  Therefore, they broke up the second time.  He talked to her personally before saying good bye for the last time.  And he kissed her hair. 

Sam realized he really could not find anymore chemistry.  It was like it was all gone.  Tina knew it too.

The Chemistry was all gone.

Or maybe… like both of them thought, they wanted no one.

“You… just wanted to walk away from me or from everyone?”  Sam asked Tina.  “I think I want to avoid this including all mankind.”  He smiled mockingly to himself.

She frowned.  “You know I just hate you.  I just hate you.”  She smiled.  “I think I just don’t love you.  I just don’t like you.”  She laughed.  “I don’t even like you.”

“It was a good direction.”  He sighed.

Tina smiled.  “I know… you see, it wouldn’t work out.”

He nodded.

She smiled.

They promised to have no hard feelings at the family reunion.

-End of Chapter One-


Written by

Rated T
Don’t take the story seriously.

Chapter 02: The interests


As days went by, still at age 16, Tina and Sam realized they really wanted no love.  It was as if they did not want it.  They felt sad sometimes thinking about it.  The Spring water dripped and slowly Tina went away from his life.

They really thought they wanted no love but then they wanted something from one another.

The chocolate she gave him and the umbrella she gave him… he realized he missed her deeply as they were family.

She realized the rain was different than before.  She felt happy for so many things.  She smiled.  She knew it was something that she should miss.  She just never… thought she would miss it.

She realized she had to smile to the cat next door to her new house.

He realized he remembered last year’s Valentine’s day.  He realized he gave her chocolate and he realized he also gave her a pot of flower.

They both realized none of them wanted more stuff.

He smiled.

He knew he really loved kitties. 

He realized he should adopt one. 

But somehow, he wanted an electronic one instead, like some sort of game on cell phone where there would be an electronic pet.

He was more interested in that, apparently.

There was a day that he met her.  He brushed his finger by her lips.  They felt awkward.  He felt she would let him, but he realized it would not last, and so he went away.

She kept on thinking it would last, if they both let it.  But he won’t, and she won’t.

She smiled.  She knew it was like so.

That day, she said.  “Good bye.”

He smiled.  “I never knew you would still wave good bye to me.  I thought…”

She nodded.  “We are still family.  Otherwise I would not say anything.” 

They were on the train platform and he felt reassured that they would still be together.  But he realized there were things better untouched.  He smiled.

Looking at her, he realized his kitten would just walk away from him.  He would not want that.

He had to admit he was insecure.  He realized it so.

Looking back to his life.  He was really, happy about something.  He knew sometimes it just happened that nothing was good.

She knew somehow the TV shows were about cooking but not about eating.

She told her mum once what was on the menu at a restaurant and she realized her mum loved the soup as well.

“I just love it.”  She said and Tina realized her mum was easy to please.

“I say…” her mum said again.  “You just really need to take a step further with Sam.  You know, maybe you’ll never find anyone, just try.  If not, you’re still family.”

Tina smiled.  “I don’t know actually.  You must be joking.”

Her mum smiled.  “But I don’t think you should be frightened.”

Tina knew what mum was talking about.  Her mum was separated from her dad, but they were still family.

Tina smiled.  She realized she did not want that.  She knew, she would always have them as family.  She was grateful.


A few years passed, and it was university.  They were eating lunch together at the university lunch place.  They seemed satisfied.  They felt awkward sometimes, but everything went by easily.

Tina tried to date two people, but both ended at the first date.  She realized at the end of the dates she just wanted to see Sam.

Sam tried a lunch hang out and it was never easy.  He actually, never cared for Tina all that much.  He realized she was a trouble.

He just thought there could be a reason why both of them began to ditch one another, but they were still family.  They felt sad.  There was a curse binding them.

They laughed about a curse, but they ended up just trying to settle down for a talk.  They talked to one another when they were down.  It was friendship and they loved it somehow.  But the love for romance was always missing.

He looked at her and remembered they kissed each other last night.  It was weird.  He kissed her hair and she kissed his lips.

He smiled.  He still made the move first.

She laughed.

They realized they did not really care about it with each other, but they both hated other people.  It was as if there was 1 percent with one another and negative 100 percent with everyone else.  But 1 percent…

They were not happy about it.

She told him that day.  “I thought there could be a way out of this mess.”  She realized she was not so honest about herself.  Maybe there was a desire in refusing romance.

He realized he wanted to be with her but ended up thinking it was for the best status quo.  He smiled.  “There could be. Or… we could play games for an eternity.  I like the e word.”

She felt he was not reliable, and he was really, only, cool.  He was too cool to be a father.  She realized she did not want a father like that for her child.

She thought she thought too much.

Looking at him, Tina realized Sam was the perfect place to ignore.

But there was a feeling when he kissed her hair.

Because he liked kissing her hair, she grew it and washed it regularly.  She thought it was funny because hair was supposed to be gross.  She thought being a guy, he was weird.

She looked at him sometimes when he fell asleep in his house.  She realized she was really interested in his being as male.  She was female, and he was male.  She thought it was cool.

They knew this was wrong to their parents, but they felt they did not want to respect them any longer… She felt she never needed to answer to her parents since they were divorced.  He felt he shouldn’t talk to his father or mother for some reason.

Somehow, he wanted to be happy and this is it.

He smiled.  It was happiness.  This ambiguous life.

“I thought you would always be here,” he smiled as he looked at her on bed.  “I kept on thinking I wake up and you’d be gone…”

Could I call this happiness…???  He questioned.

She realized she thought the same.  She touched his forehead.  She smiled a little, but she wondered if they were together now.

“I never thought it would be so difficult.  Really, what is our problem?”  She looked at him sadly.  She hugged him.

He said.  “Maybe because we just did not feel involved enough.  Surely, I think you would say our space clashed?”

“We couldn’t get personal…I realized I really… love you?  But I felt suffocation when I was around you.  If this were love, it would not be mature enough…  We’re silly?”  She said.  She was crying.

They both realized maybe they needed to resolve their clashing personalities.  They smiled at one another and hugged later.

She looked at the painting on the wall of her room and realized the kitty was grown up.  She realized she was old.  She realized they were more suitable in becoming together, only that… she realized she was not a cat.

She felt she was more of a wolf.  She smiled.  She was a lone wolf.

She was unhappy.  As a lone wolf, she would always be alone.  She was a lone wolf.

She did not cry, but she realized she should tell him.

“Hey,” she said.  “I think we’re both lone wolves.”

He smiled.  “I know…  I think I know what is the problem now.”

She smiled also.  “Maybe… I need to be honest.  I really do like you.  Maybe it was because I wanted to be alone sometimes that was why.  And you were there but maybe you wanted to be alone sometimes, and I was there.  I was blocking your happiness.”

“I know right…?”  He laughed.  “Maybe we could try.”

She smiled.  “I know.”

“I was blocking your happiness too, sorry.”  He smiled.

They were both happy.  Both of them were lone wolves and they loved it.  Somehow, they realized if they gave birth to a wolvie it would be interesting.  They knew it was okay.

They thought they should try.

It was as if, they were from a family of wolves.

They smiled.  They knew they had to stick together.

-End of Chapter Two-

a/n: ?????(Mina wa aru?)



Written by: Kimeral.emily

Rated T
Don’t take the story seriously.

Chapter 03: As the story went.


He knew he would hate her one day for some reason.  It was meaningless pounder.  He knew for one thing.  His love was not enough for romance.

He knew he would hate her this time.  She knew it too.  On the bed, they were both unhappy.  They went shopping and nothing came up as happiness.

They tried holding hands.  They hated it.

She kissed him in public and realized she hated how everyone would see them if they looked.  She realized she hated him a lot.  You see, there was a conflict of interest.  She thought.  I wanted to be alone.

She smiled afterwards.  He did.  They realized they just wanted to be together but not as lovers.

They promised themselves that they would just stay for staying’s sake.  How difficult it was to be with someone else?  But then again, we never made any promises, did we?  Because it was not enough loved.

“I think this was for the best for the agreement to be with one another until we really know what we wanted in romance.  No kids, no one else.  We… somehow shared a bond we did not know what to do with… right?  I believe you were the right one for me but…”  He sighed.

She smiled.  “I know.”

She then said.  “I love you the most but it was not enough to carry on.  We cannot have kids because we’re too out of love, but we should manage and love more.”  She thought he was sweet.

Maybe it was the desire to go away and be happy.  But they both knew they could not be happy with one another.  They both realized there was a grey zone and they were in it.  This grey was weird.

However, they had security in life.

They told their families and they were okay.  They thought it was weird at one point.  People were either divorced or happily married but whatever.

They smiled.  It was happiness somehow.

They both realized they wanted love.  Somehow, they thought they were getting there, except sometimes they wanted to walk away.

They went to sports together and they had fun.  They were happy as teammates.  They were happy both eating hotdogs.  Tina and Sam were really happy.  His own life was great, as thought by Sam.

Tina thought he was cool.

They went bowling and was really happy.  Somehow, they just felt it could get better, but even if it did not, they did not want to leave.  They both have each a job and so they felt confident.  They decided to adopt a kitten. 

Everything was great but there was a desire to escape.

They talked occasionally and they decided to stay always.  But their escape was to the supermarket and so.  They felt uneasy sometimes when they were confronted as being married.

Sam smiled.  He was feeling odd.  Tina was feeling uneasy also.

They looked at their watches sometimes.  Someone told them to wear the same style of watches and they felt alarmed.  Somehow, they could not enjoy it.

They smiled awkwardly.  Somehow, they were not married but living with one another.  They felt comfortable since they were cousins.

Tina sometimes wanted to be alone.  She went to the beach and walked along the sea line.  She felt her hay hat was getting to her.  She felt very feminine.  She also felt Sam was masculine.

She realized it was not about finding a man for herself.  It was that she hated relationships.

Maybe… she wanted no friendship, no family no nothing and be a wolf.

She was becoming a cat.  She was getting to be a kitten.

She felt sad.

He was feeling as if he wanted a way to a drive way.  He drove a bit and he realized… it was great to have the seats other than his empty…


After six months, they met at the door way simultaneously.  They lived in different rooms but in the same house.  They never really slept together but always were around one another.

She smiled.  “I left you a note.”

“I should know that,” he sighed.

They told one another they were going on vacation on this day, but to meet at the door at six a.m. at the same time at the door they felt awkward.  They both realized they became hateful again.

They sat down and talked.  Their planes would leave at 6 p.m.

She smiled.  “I just thought I would sneak off.  You know, I would do that and you know I would come back.”

He said the same thing pretty much.  “I know and… you know I would come back also.”

Her note was yellow and his was blue.  He smiled.  “You always loved yellow notes.  Like… the page was yellow and you loved it.  And you just loved yellow.  We’re not far off.  We both loved sticky notes.”

She nodded.  Looking at her writing.  It was: Will be back on XX-XX-XXXX.

He smiled.  “Tina… I think I’ll be back too.”  He wrote: Be back on XX-XX-XXXX.

The dates were the same.

She smiled.

They rode on Sam’s car to the airport.  She thought she would go on the bus but she was with him.

Looking at him drive, she realized he was like a nutco.  It was like he just likes to drive and ignores me for life.  She thought.  Maybe I liked that.

She smiled.  Looking outside of the window, she became relaxed.

He just kept on looking at the front.  He realized she was not talking and it was good.  Normally he wanted her to talk.  Now, he just wanted to enjoy the quiet.

They both felt they had a big fight.  It was weird.

She smiled at him.  He noticed and thought it was weird.


They cried a bit in their own heart.

They realized maybe they really cared for one another.  Before going onto the airplanes to different directions.  They had dinner at the bar.

He nodded at her.

She smiled awkwardly.

They talked.

“I thought I would just say good bye next time.”  She said.

He said.  “Maybe I just felt it was good to see you before you leave to vacation.  You know you take vacations by yourself a lot.”  He smiled.  “So do I?”

“I really do.  Next time… we can go together…?”  She said.  She was eating the dinner there and she felt the taste was great.

He thought the food was great also.  “Yeah, next time.  I feel we’re in sync?  Maybe we should try more.”

She nodded.

They felt they needed each other. 

“You know,” Sam said.  “Going to Hawaii’s great!  You’re going there a lot of times…”

“And you go to Japan… wow.”  She smiled.  “I knew you love the kawaii-s.”

He nodded.  “I heart hello kitty.”

She laughed.  “I know.”

Hello kitty appeared in her mind.  She was humored.  Hello… Kitty…

“I thought I was turning into a cat recently,” she said.

“A cat?”  He laughed.  “You’re like… human.”

“I know… I know… I hate cats.  I… started to hate them.”  She nodded.  She was feeling stupid.  Cats were too innocent.  “Maybe… I’m a lone wolf?”

He laughed.  “I felt like one but… I’m still human.”  He thought she was correct.  He remembered their youth.  It was weird.  It was the same but somehow it felt really different.  He smiled at her.  He realized they were coming together.

She realized it too.  It was happening recently.  She realized she was getting nervous around him.

She smiled.  “The food was great.”

He nodded.

“Sam… I’ll go next time.”  She smiled.

They really did need one another.

But somehow… she wished there would not be romance…

And somehow… he wanted love no more…

But somehow… they knew things would be interesting.  And they knew there were needing one another and they somehow really were dishonest.

They actually wanted love.

-End of Story and Chapter Three-


Song: I held your hands and we let go

I held your hands
You held mine
Somehow, I realized you did
not care
Somehow, I knew I’d
hate and you’d hate

I held your hands
and I let go
I realized we both were nuts
I realized I really
needed someone.  And so
do you

The tug of war
I hate the flowers
of roses
I hated the blue
The red was making
me sick

I wanted the freedom
in purpose


Finalized story.

© Copyright 2018 Kimeral.emily. All rights reserved.

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